The Battle for Their Hearts

Wow...it has been few weeks since I was here.  Not because I haven't had a lot to think about, or because I haven't had anything to say.  Certainly not because God hasn't been teaching me anything.  To the contrary, He has been teaching me great things...I just haven't had the time to sit down and  put any of it in words.

Recently, I read another book by Ken Ham and Britt Beemer.

 In their book, they detail their research findings as to why young adults are leaving the church after high school and college.  In a nutshell, they conclude that somewhere along the path from middle school to high school, kids begin to doubt the authority of Scripture.  These doubts are reinforced in many systems of education, and often churches and parents do nothing to counter this.  If children and teens are not taught to understand and defend Scripture as historical and spiritual truth, they are much more likely to leave their faith and their church.

At the same time I was reading this book, I began a study of Romans.  It seems that God came to the same conclusion a couple of thousand years ago (note: sarcasm intended).  I definitely recommend Already Gone, but the findings are not new at all.

The second half of the first chapter of Romans contains some of the saddest verses in the Bible. 

  For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools,  and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,  because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.   Romans 1:21-23

They knew God.  These people were "in church".  They had heard the Word.  They knew what it said. But their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.  Why? Because they exchanged the truth of God for a lie!

Here is the pattern Paul outlines...the same pattern that exists today:

1. They knew God - they were "involved" in church to some extent.

2. They did not glorify Him or give thanks - there was no real life change, no relationship with Christ (church involvement was surface, probably social in nature)

3. Their thinking became futile - they began to focus on worldly philosophies and ideas

4. Their hearts became darkened - their affections turned from God to the world

5. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie... - They "bought into" the worldly philosophies...they believed the scientists, the philosophers, the media...

6. ...and served the created things rather than the Creator - They became enslaved to worldly things (enslaved to their houses, schools, clubs, neighbors, jobs...)

7. Therefore GOD GAVE THEM UP - God will not force us to stay where we do not want to be.  He will let us go.

The battle is won or lost between steps 1 and 2.  If our children do not move from knowing about God to knowing God they will follow steps 3-7.  Our job as parents (NOT the church's job) is to do everything we can to make sure our children understand what it means to move from step 1 to step 2.  We cannot make that move for them, but neither can we expect them to make it without any  help.  It is not the pastor's job.  It is not their small group leader's job.  It is not the children's minister or  youth minister's job.  It is OUR job.  And if our life doesn't reflect this, then our credibility is blown.  Many parents fail to help their children move from 1 to 2 because they themselves have never moved.  In the words of my pastor, we have to "examine our lives".  What kind of example are we setting?  Do we live lives that glorify God and give Him thanks?  What do our children see in us that would make them want to do the same?

Promises

I am reminded of seasons again today. The weather this week, following the visit of Tropical Storm Lee, has been absolutely beautiful. Despite my dislike for this time of year in many aspects, I do love fall. I love the cool weather and the colors and the beautiful blue sky and the way the sunlight looks through the trees. My issue isn't with the season, but with the reminders of the passage of time. This is a more recent development, as my girls have gotten older.

But today, I'm reminded of God's blessings in all our seasons. For every change, he gives a blessing. For every moment that passes, he gives something new. The beauty of this day reminds me of that...However much I may miss carefree, summer days (ok, so jam-packed busy traveling summer days is more like it, but you know what I mean) I love the gentle beauty of an early fall day. And I love the warmth and coziness of the Christmas season. For that matter, I love long, cold, winter days when I can hibernate with my family. On those days, the memory of last summer brings a smile and with it anticipation and the knowledge that summer will come again.

As a mom, I am thankful to know our seasons change in the same ways. Today, I am reminded that the memories of yesterdays will always bring a smile, but they also promise tomorrows. "Summer" will return. It will be different, filled with new memories, but they will also bring smiles. I can enjoy the beauty of today because in it God promises his constant presence in an inconstant world. His mercies are new every day.

More on Truth

I am obviously not paying attention to myself, because when I sat down to type this, my goal was to write a post on Truth. Turns out I did that the other day. Apparently, God is still teaching me on this subject, because Truth is still on my heart and mind. I have been thinking about the truth of who God is, the truth of what Jesus did, the truth of who I am in Christ. And I am wondering if I am doing an adequate job of passing along those Truths to my children.

I wrote last week that I often struggle with "worldly knowledge" as it pertains to educating my children. Yesterday, I was reading in Ephesians 6 about Armor of God.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm." Eph. 6:10-13.

One explanation I read on these "schemes of the devil" suggested that the "authorities" (or "powers", as some translations read) doesn't refer to spiritual beings, but to our own authority or power...in other words, it refers to the "rights" we have in ourselves to govern and control ourselves. That explanation really made sense to me. One of our greatest struggles is against our selves...against what we think is "right", what we want. In Christ, those things are counted as lost. As my pastor says, "Dead men (and women) don't have rights."

When I struggle with what the world says I should do in regard to teaching my children, much of that struggle is really against myself. Will I listen to the "experts" or will I listen to God? Do I know what is "right" for my children? No. If I am completely honest, and completely submitted to God, I do not. He knows what is best for them. I have to walk in that Truth every day.

I have to go back, every day, to what I KNOW He has called me to do. It's that same passage I keep going back to.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

That is what I am commanded to do first and foremost. Everything else falls within these parameters. I realize that many people will read this and think I am neglecting many things. But I say that all of those "things" will fit into these parameters if I keep his commands first. In other words, when I begin to worry, or struggle, or (wost of all) panic, I have to go back to this command. Do the best things first. Every time I do this, He points me back to what I need to do. His ways are mysterious. I don't think I can accurately explain all this means. But I can say with certainty that it has worked every time. And so I continue to do it.

The Right Truth

"Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge..." 1 Timothy 6:20

I was reading this morning on topic of stewardship, and came across this verse. My mind went immediately to the stewardship of my children, entrusted to Jimmy and me by God. My service to God, in whatever he has given me to do-including parenting-involves guarding and protecting what is already His. Not only that, but I need to give them back to Him better than they were when they were given to me. In the parable of the talents, the careless steward was chastised because he did nothing with what was given to him. He didn't improve upon it, didn't put it to use, didn't make it better.

My job as a parent is to guard the spiritual condition of the children who have been put into my care. I can only do this by listening to Truth and using that Truth as a guide and a measure. Nothing else in the world can replace that Truth. But everything in the world tries to replace it. "Godless chatter" and "opposing ideas" that falsely disguise themselves as "knowledge" attempt to replace Truth in every aspect of our lives. And it is very easy to fall victim to their attempts.

We look to countless resources to make us better parents. Who doesn't remember that fat yellow "What to Expect" book? I know I was glued to that book for at least three years. But what else do we listen to? Everyone has suggestions to make us better parents, to make our kids better kids. A couple of weeks ago I saw a Back-to-School commercial that suggested the best thing a mom could do for her kids was to make sure they went back to school "in style"...forget teachers and grades! "Experts" tell us to make sure our kids "feel good" about themselves and their lives...translation, make them happy. Other "experts" tell us to make sure their grades and test scores and transcripts are capable of gaining them admittance to the most prestigious schools with the best scholarships.

At least twice a year, I fall victim to that last bit of "knowledge". I allow someone's expertise in the area of education to freak me out and cause me to panic. Am I teaching all the right subjects? Have I missed something? Am I accurately preparing my girls? Then the rock that is my husband gently points me back to the right place. Back to the Truth.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-8. That's it. That's the command. That's the Truth. Everything else is secondary. We are not bringing our children up for the pleasure or praise of man. We are bringing them up to bring glory to God. If we do that right, everything else will be good.

Basic Training

In the past year, I have had two friends send their sons off to basic training in a branch of the US Military. During those weeks, communication between those in training and their loved ones was minimal at best. Those young men and women in training were kept in "isolation" from the rest of the world, with only one focus: to train to be the best at their job. In the end, they were supposed to come out of training looking like a soldier or an airman. If they came out looking like anything else, it would have been considered a failure.

Why were they isolated? They were isolated so that they would not be distracted from the goal. Their complete attention and focus was demanded. Anything less would leave them looking like less than what they trained to become. They were surrounded by others with the same focus and the same goal. They were taught by those who had already been through the same training.

I can't help but make the connection here to discipleship and our children. No, I am not suggesting that we "isolate" our children by locking them up in the house and not letting them out until they are 21. But I am suggesting that there is something to be learned here.

Over and over in the last several months, I have been taken back to the concept of "separateness" in the Word of God; by my pastors, by my own study, by blogs and articles and books. I am pretty sure God has been trying to teach me something, or at least reinforce something he has already taught me. Consider the following verses:

"But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:20-24 ESV).

We have been taught differently. As Christians we ARE different. We are renewed and made over to look like Him.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV)

As disciples we are to imitate Him. To imitate him we have to know him intimately (Philippians 3:10), follow him (John 8:12) and listen to him (John 10:27).

Paul goes on in Ephesians to tell us more about how we are to become imitators of God.

"Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them." (Ephesians 5:11 ESV).

The NIV says "Have nothing to do..." We are to have NO part in darkness. No association with it at all. Our life, lived in imitation of God's sacrificial love, is to be marked by purity and holiness. God's directive regarding impurity, immorality, and greed is simple-do not be partners with them. (Ephesians 5:7)

What does that look like at home? How do we train our children to imitate Christ? I think it is obvious from these verses that we start by helping them understand that they are to look different. No, I don't mean they dress weird, or that girls don't wear make-up, or that boys wear long sleeved white shirts. I mean that they live differently, they talk differently, they act differently. I mean that they don't go to the same places, watch the same movies, listen to the same music. They don't "look" like the world. They "look" like Christ.

Parents, don't let them believe that they can do the things their "friends" do and still look different, still be separate. It is not possible. No one at that party is thinking about the fact that your child isn't drinking. They aren't thinking about the fact that he isn't cursing. They are only recognizing that he (or she!) is there, with them. Therefore, in their minds, your child is like them. Furthermore, while no one at that party is thinking about your child not drinking or cursing (or whatever), I can guarantee that your child IS thinking about those things. And he or she is feeling different, and is likely to be tempted to be like everyone else.

This is hard stuff. These are hard times. These days call for hard parenting. The rules have changed in the last 20 years. Things that were "darkness" were done in darkness 20 years ago. Those things are done in the light of day today. Are you going to be a popular parent? Will your kids be thrilled with your standards? Maybe not. But we do not answer to other parents and we do not answer to our children. We answer to God. We have been charged with the ultimate discipleship task. At the end of the day, we are responsible to God for our child. We have so short a time..."make the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:16)

Aiming for Perfection

I just love how God's Word speaks truth into my life. I love that "aha moment" when something just jumps off the pages. I love that when I ask him to teach me something new, he does.

I was reading this morning in Ephesians and I came to this verse: "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:3

Make EVERY effort...that sounded pretty emphatic. Paul was serious about that, as my husband would say. So I began looking at other verses on unity. Using my big black Thompson Chain Reference, I started looking at verses on the exhortation to unity. I found the following:

"I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1 Corinthians 1:10

Wow...that one jumped out even more than the first. "ALL of you should AGREE with one another in what you say and do...NO divisions...PERFECTLY UNITED in mind and thought." Paul leaves absolutely no wiggle room in that one! This verse completely takes away the argument that says we don't have to agree on every little thing when it comes to spiritual matters. There goes the whole "agree to disagree" idea.

Paul wasn't done..."Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." 2 Corinthians 13:11

Aim for PERFECTION. Wow...this gets harder and harder. Close enough doesn't cut it. Sometimes, sort-of, almost...nope. Perfection. 100 percent, completely, all the time. Good enough is not good enough when it comes to holiness.

The next one is one of my favorite verses: "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel..." Philippians 1:27

Whatever happens. No matter what. No excuses. Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy. The Church is to be united. The body is to be unified. Always, completely, perfectly.

I have been convicted in the last year or two that "comfortable, convenient Christianity" is not Christianity at all. Being a Christ follower requires everything. Salvation is simple, it is free; But living for Christ is hard work, and it is costly. It costs me my rights, my opinions, my wants, my preferences. Am I there yet? Absolutely not, I'm not even close. But I desire to be there. This is one of those areas God has shown me that I am going to have to let him work on...believers are commanded to do more than just "get along". He calls us to be united, aiming for perfection, and living in harmony as one body.

Higher Expectations

Last week I had the privilege of participating in one of my favorite events of the year. I spent the week on mission with an awesome group of 7th and 8th grade students. This yearly event is traditionally a local mission trip. This one was the best ever for a number of reasons.

We served at a couple of local ministries, spent some time visiting some of our own senior adult church members, and serving at a church around the corner from our own, helping with their VBS. From beginning to end, I watched 12-14 year old kids act like mature believers and serve with their whole heart. It was, in part, a testimony to the ministries of our church...our kids are indeed well trained from a young age to serve the Lord and their community. It was also a testimony to their parents who have undoubtedly brought them up to love and serve the Lord.

I watched young men and women talk with and pray with homeless men and women, help them "shop" for clothes, search Scripture with them. I watched them kneel at the side of mentally challenged adults and help them with a craft or a puzzle or a song. I listened to them pray over an elderly, widowed church member. And I saw them lead children and preschoolers in crafts, music, and games at VBS. It was a whirlwind and it was a blessing.

Generally, when I plan this yearly trip, I make an effort to build in "down time". In the past, we have had our evenings completely free, and we have had long lunch breaks. This year, because of the variety of activities scheduled, our "down time" was essentially non-existent. Yet I never heard a word of complaint. Our kids never slacked off. They gave 100% early in the morning as they ministered at an inner-city mission, and they gave 100% as they sang VBS songs with young children in the evening. I was struck that most adults, myself included, can't say the same for ourselves. How many times do I complain of being tired, hot, worn out? How many times do I give less than my best to the Lord?

I came away with the revelation that we often set the bar way too low for our kids. We expect them to need "down time". We don't expect them to excel spiritually. We classify ministry as "adult" ministry vs. "kid" ministry. I saw last week that our youngest youth are capable of so much more...so much more than many adults. I left the week challenging their parents to raise their expectations for their kids...and to join their kids in ministry. I challenge you to do the same.

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel..." Philippians 1:27

In All Our Ways

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB)


These verses are, no doubt, as familiar to you as they are to me. I memorized them as a child, claimed them as a teenager, taught them to my children. I sometimes even refer to them as "default verses"...those verses someone will quickly quote when asked their favorite verse. They are easy to remember, and easy to relate to. Follow God, believe him, and he will take care of you.

This week, as he is so faithful and loving to do, God taught me something brand new in these verses. He showed me that these verses, like everything else in his Word, are even more personal than I had imagined.

My firstborn will begin her junior year in high school in a few weeks. It is a weird time. How can I be old enough to have a child that old? What happened to my baby girl? I wonder if I feel it even more acutely because I homeschool. I have had her with me for everything her whole life. Can our schooling journey really be coming to an end? And she is feeling some of those same things. More and more, people are asking her those questions that everyone asks kids as high school draws to an end. "Where are you going to college?" "What are you going to major in?" "What are you going to do?"

These questions are really beginning to frustrate her. The other day she said, "Mom, I'm 15! How in the world am I supposed to know what I want to do?" She was right. But that's where these verses come in. God reminded me that he is intimately interested in ALL her ways. He is interested in ALL our ways. And his only desire is for her (and me, and you) to trust him, to depend on him, to seek him and follow him. He will direct the rest. It is a day by day trusting. There is nothing wrong with making plans and nothing wrong with preparing for the future. In fact, we should be prepared. But we should be prepared spiritually, and we should be prepared for WHATEVER he calls us to, not just for what we think we might do. And as we follow him day by day, step by step, he will reveal those plans as he is ready, as we need to know.

Ballet Lessons

The last two weeks at our house have pretty much revolved around my youngest's ballet schedule. She is involved in Summer Intensive Workshop, an all day, every day, serious ballet schedule. It's our first experience with this and we had a pretty big learning curve, with a few bumps along the way. Yesterday was bumpy.

Upon registration, we received a link to a 15 page document with instructions, information, dress codes, packing lists...you get the picture. Rather than print it and have to keep up with 15 pages of paper, I did what any tech-savvy mom would do. I saved it to my computer, and I saved it to my iPad. With the iPad, the document was easy to carry with me anywhere. Being the somewhat compulsive person that I am, I read those pages front to back several times, checking and rechecking to be sure I was completely familiar with what we needed to do. My dancer also read over the instructions and checklists, using it as her shopping and packing guide. We had this thing under control.

But something just never added up. I read somewhere, and I heard somewhere, about a "dress code" for the final night of the workshop-a Gala in which all the dancers will perform. I re-checked my 15 page document, but didn't see any such dress code. "Well," I thought, "I guess they will give her that information later." I emailed the school office a few weeks ago to ask if there was a particular style leotard needed for classes, and was told, "No, the only dress code we have is for the Gala." Hmm...again, something didn't seem right, but I didn't know what it was.

Yesterday, I figured it out. I got a call early in the morning. "Mom! I have to have a long sleeve black leotard for tomorrow night!" What?? How did this happen?? I immediately went to my info. Nothing there about a long sleeve leotard! I started calling other moms. Most of them were aware of the long sleeve leotard clause. Was this a conspiracy? Was I loosing my mind? I called my favorite dance supply store. My favorite clerk told me that we should have known about this months ago. Seriously? How did this happen?

In desperation, I even took my iPad to the store with me so the clerk (who should know these things) could look at my copy of the list. She confirmed it. No dress code listed. She even showed me where it should have been. But the page was blank. Weird. So, I bought the necessary leotard and, despite some confusion and anxiety, we were good to go. But I wasn't satisfied. I needed to know how this happened.

A comment from another mom, and a suggestion from my daughter started some bells ringing in my head. I went to my desktop computer, not my iPad, and I pulled up the infamous document. As I began scrolling through it, something amazing appeared. Throughout the document were previously invisible blue boxes with text in them. One of those boxes contained the all-important dress code information. It was RIGHT THERE! There were also other text boxes with less-important, but still pertinent information. Suddenly lots of previously confusing issues made sense! Apparently, my iPad (as wonderful as it is) does not read some documents completely. Nice thing to know...

As I reflected on all of this today, I suddenly realized that there is a spiritual lesson in this crazy story. So much of life is like that document. We think we have things under control, but something is always missing. Some things just don't make sense, UNTIL we learn that we have to view things through the filter of the Holy Spirit. When we do that, suddenly things that never made sense before become perfectly clear! Those missing parts are suddenly visible when we look at things through Christ's eyes. When we ask him to open the eyes of our hearts, confusion becomes understanding.

So, I learned two important lessons this week. Always double check anything on my iPad against a more reliable document reader. And always ask the Holy Spirit to open my spiritual eyes to the world around me!

Don't Believe That Lie

I happened to have time to watch a daytime/morning network program yesterday...one of those "little bit of everything" shows. The first segment involved an interview/chat with a "celebrity" aka someone who happened to become famous because she exchanged her real life for a fantasy life on a "reality" show (get the irony there?). The entire exchange was ridiculous, but toward the end, I heard her say something that I hear other women say quite often. Real women who have real lives. She was talking about her children and how marriage and children have changed her life, the "sacrifices" she has had to make. She said that she has started a web based business and that it has "given me adult interaction". In other words, having that business has, in her mind, validated her as a human.

That is the lie that Hollywood and the media and the "cultural elite" would have women believe. Being a wife is only important if it is beneficial socially. And being a mother, while possibly "fun", or "cute", or "exciting", is certainly not a worthwhile endeavor. Being a wife and a mother is ok for a side job, but not for a primary occupation. Women believe this. I hear it all the time. I see it lived out all the time. It is a lie, and it is responsible for many unhappy women, men and children; responsible for many unhappy marriages and families.

Moms, you are not just an essential part of society. You are probably the most essential part. You provide the sanctuary where the families who make up our culture can grow and flourish. You (hopefully with your husband) provide the moral, educational, and hopefully Biblical foundation for them. You are NOT "just a mom", and you do NOT need a paying career to validate yourself. More than that, the time invested in your children's life is precious and does not need to be supplemented with equal amounts of "adult time". I want to be careful here...I am not saying moms don't need friends or fellowship or social outlets. We absolutely do. We need to recharge and we need support. But the world would have you believe that if you are spending 75% or more of your time with your children, you are missing out and you are suffering. If you listen to that for long you will begin to believe it and you will begin to feel like you are suffering. Suddenly your time with your children becomes a drudgery and something you resent.

I want to point out that this post is not about whether or not a woman should have a career. There are many wonderful mothers who have careers, either by choice or by necessity. This is, rather, about the perception that motherhood in and of itself is not sufficiently worthwhile.

Perspective is important. Do you believe you are worthwhile as a mom? Do you believe the time, energy, and emotion you are investing is worthwhile? Do you see the end goal of healthy, spiritually and emotionally mature children (young adults)? Do you understand you are a vital link between this generation and the next? If you do, then you can invest wholeheartedly. Then you can take time away to socialize and recharge and return home with excitement and joy. And when those times away don't come as frequent as you might wish, remember that in a few short years you will have more time on your own than you ever imagined. Use this time wisely.

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (and, I would add, they are short) Ephesians 5:15-16

Leave of Absence

I am sure you have all noticed my absence and missed me terribly. No? Oh well, that's ok! The truth is, it's June. In church life that means I am either at VBS or Student Camp (already been) or getting ready to send a teenager to be a counselor at Children's camp (check), or recoving from all any and all of the above. Add to that Ballet Intensive starting this weekend and a husband who has been out of town for two straight weeks, and you have a mom with no time to blog.

That doesn't mean that God hasn't shown me some really great things lately. I am becoming more and more aware of his voice whispering to me throughout my day. It isn't that His voice hasn't always been there, but my ears aren't always tuned in. It's amazing what slowing down just a little and taking time to be still will do for you. Honestly, I haven't had much slowing down time. But the more time I spend with Him, the more tuned the ears of my heart are so that He can whisper to me as I go through my day.

Today, for instance, I was making a quick run to the store. More specifically, BACK to the store for that one thing I always forget and can't live without. I was in a hurry and absentmindedly listening to the radio when a song came on that I have never heard before. It's not a new song, and I can't imagine why I have never heard it. But God was saving it for me for today. Here is Steven Curtis Chapman, singing Do Everything.



I hope it blesses you the way it blessed me today. Mom's EVERYTHING we do is worth doing and is worth doing to His Glory.

The Umbrella

This week has been VBS Unplugged week at our church. The "Unplugged" is something our church started a couple of y ears ago-taking VBS and the message of God's love to the neighborhoods and communities around our church, instead of waiting for them to come to us.

My "site", the community that I was assigned to be leader over, is actually a neighborhood in a nearby town. I was actually working with a mission church of our own church, and so I was partnering with that church's pastor.

Tuesday afternoon, storm clouds began rolling in and phones began ringing with the question, "Will VBS go on?" VBS, as we do it, takes place outside, and many of our sites have no "inside" option. My site was one of those with no rain plan. We went right up to the last minute hoping for the best. But as we pulled into town, it was obvious that the weather was not going to cooperate. All my phone calls and text messages and prayers aside, it was going to storm.

I can't tell you what a relief it was, as we pulled into the parking lot of our site, to see the church pastor (my co-leader) standing with all of our workers, obviously informing them that we were going to have to cancel for the night. I really did not want to have to make that decision. What freedom for me to be out from under that responsibility. It was, after all, his community. This is the area his church is ministering to. It was his call to make.

What does my story have to do with parenting? This is how God has designed the family. There is a chain of authority he has established-an umbrella of protection he has placed over us. That umbrella is so freeing when it is exercised with Godly leadership. We can operate freely under that umbrella. Our children can live safely under that umbrella. It isn't a burden, but a blessing. When families live under God's authority, when wives function under their husband's authority and when children live under their parent's authority, the family functions as it was intended. The storms of life will come. But God's umbrella of authority protects us from decisions and choices that aren't ours to make. Submission and obedience aren't meant to weigh us down, they are meant to make our lives easier. And they provide a Godly example for our children to follow. From parents submitting to God to children obeying parents, and everywhere in between, we are to live out God's plan for our lives and for our family. And as we do, we flourish.

The Quest: A Public Service Announcement

My girls and I found ourselves with some free time yesterday afternoon, and as we were already out, they decided it would be a good time to go on The Quest. You know...The Quest for this year's pool apparel. Anyone who has pre-teen or teen girls, and who actually cares what their girls wear outside of their bedroom, understands how incredibly difficult The Quest can be. Slightly less fun than getting your teeth cleaned.

Now, I have to say, I am blessed. I have never had to engage in debate with either of them over what is appropriate, and what is not. They understand the parameters clearly. As they demonstrated yesterday, they have made those standards their own.

We visited six stores. I did little to no work. I followed them through store after store, through display after display, while they sorted through the few "acceptable" options, eventually finding almost all of them unacceptable. I gave little direction. Occasionally I would point one or another choice out, each time to be turned down. It got old fast. I was ready to be done, but they were on a Quest and determined to find something. I began to realize at some point that they had a plan, a vision, and they just needed to fulfill it. So I followed along, and drove from store to store.

It was in the last store that the Quest reached it's end and the vision was fulfilled. Tim Hawkins has a comedy set that refers to finding what you are looking for in the last place you look. It always applies. In the last store, both girls went through the usual browsing, showing little interest in what was available, and were clearly disinterested in the options. Eventually, both made their way to another part of the store.

This is the public service announcement portion of this post. I want to offer the following suggestion to you moms with girls who would like something a little different this year. I would have never thought of this on my own. I thought it was pretty brilliant of them to come up with this.

They went from this area of the store:



To this one:












And what they ended up with was something like this:



The fabric is water resistant, basically the same stuff the swimwear is made of. The top is longer than a swimsuit top, so it sits over their hips instead of edging up and showing belly. It is also snugly fitted so it won't flow up with the water. I suppose you (or your girl) could wear regular swim bottoms with the top if the color matched, but my girls have taken to preferring shorts anyway. Either way, you are going to want bottoms under the shorts, but you probably already have a drawer full. Also, depending on her age, size, etc. you are probably going to need "something" under the top, but the makers of these tanks make coordinating "sports bras". And the cost of the whole outfit? At JC Penny, where everthing is 40% off right now, $51 and some change.

Bingo! This has been your public service announcement for the summer. Happy swimming!

Who's Your Idol?

This week was the big week...or at least that's what Facebook tells me. Apparently the newest American Idol was crowned this week. Our household might be the only household in the nation who didn't watch. Confession: I have watched exactly one season of American Idol. It was a few years ago. We watched to find out what all the fuss was about.

So, the AI news, along with a question posed by a Facebook friend has gotten me thinking. Her question was, essentially: do "we" (being FB world) think that media (television, movies, etc.) is basically positive or negative, and why?

Who are America's "idols"? Why? In the last few years, we have seen the demise, literally and/or figuratively, of dozens of young "stars". Actually, it is a trend that goes back decades. What happens? Does fame and fortune corrupt? Is it the environment? The expectations? Yes, I think, to all of those and more. But this isn't a post about the downfall of any "star". It is more about our response to them, and the effect on our kids.

I would challenge anyone to name 10 big name "stars" from the last 10-15 years who is stable, much less a positive role model. Even in the last 5 years. In 2006 all of our kids, at least all of our girls, were glued to High School Musical. They could sing every word and dance every dance. They were in love with Troy and wanted to be Gabrielle. Since their HSM days, Troy and Vanessa have been photographed in all sorts of compromising situations. Not exactly the wholesome pair of our kids' imaginations. And what about the great Hannah Montana? From clean, even "Christian" Miley to the striptease who is estranged from her dad...what happened? And really, is anyone surprised?

I wouldn't go so far as to ban all tv and media (although I haven't been beyond threatening from time to time), but we need to take a serious look at what we, and our kids, are watching. More importantly, we need to measure how much stock we put into it. We enjoy tv and movies in our house (not at all to the extent some others do...we are more Braves Baseball and Food Network watchers, and have never seen a single episode of Survivor). But we watch with the certain understanding that these people are just people. Often they are people with issues and problems. The world they portray is make-believe. The lives they live, sadly, are often make-believe.

And more often than not, it's just not worth watching.

Be Holy

I had a conversation with 3 seventh grade girls the other day, and I asked them this question: "Is it possible for us to be holy?" I was met, initially, with blank stares, followed by hesitant head shaking. Their answer, at last, was "No." So I led them to the following verse:

For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:16

Then I asked, "Would God tell us to do something that wasn't possible for us to do?"

My young friends are not any different than any of us. Most of us would probably have the same uncertain answer to the question of being holy. God is holy. We aren't God, so how in the world can we be holy?

I actually learned the answer to this question many years ago from my great friend and teacher, Randy. Recently, I had the privilege of being in a class with him again in which we studied this topic in depth. I felt it was important to pass this understanding on to my young friends. I don't want them to go through the next 20 or 30 years not understanding that they can live holy lives. If they don't realize that holiness is attainable, they won't strive for it. Our children need to know that if they are believers, "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" 2 Peter 1:3.

So often, too often, our teenagers graduate and go off to college and leave behind all the spiritual teaching they have received over the years. There are many reasons for this. But the underlying reason is that they don't "own" their faith. They don't really understand what they believe or if they really believe it. Many kids, to use Lee Strobel's words, "graduate from church". Off at college, off on their own without mom and dad waking them up on Sunday morning, they fall out of the habit-because a habit is all it ever was. It is our high calling and responsibility as parents to see that our children understand what they believe and why.

I have heard the phrase "passing on our faith to our children" over the years. I would like to suggest a better idea. What if we help our children grow their own faith. After all, my children can't find eternal life in my faith.

Does It Really Matter?

I mentioned in my last post that I am reading Already Compromised. Ken Ham and Greg Hall outline how Christian colleges, universities, and even seminaries are compromising truth in the Christian academic world. In particular, many of these schools are either unclear, or in actual denial about the literal interpretation of God's Word, particularly Genesis.

I grew up in a Christian family. I grew up in church. I became a Christian when I was 8 years old...I didn't just pray a prayer, I KNEW that Jesus was my Savior and that the Holy Spirit lived in me. I was active in my youth group. I went to a "Christian university" and I majored in Christianity. But until I was a married adult, I was never discipled. I knew what I believed, most of the time. I knew lots of information. But I had little understanding of why I believed it. And I fell victim to a lot of misinformation.

As a freshman, sitting in my first Old Testament survey class, I had a professor whom I liked and respected say something like this: "As long as we believe that Jesus lived and died and rose again, it doesn't really matter if the miracles of the Old Testament were real." I don't remember her exact words, but that was the gist of it. I remember sitting there, knowing that this woman was highly educated and respected, and I thought, "Um...well...ok." I don't believe I ever bought into her theory, but I certainly wasn't put off by it, or offended. And I do remembering wondering about the Old Testament. Did all that stuff really happen? Did it matter?

Looking back, I know two things. One, it is a miracle I finished college (and graduate school) with my faith intact. I credit some of that to a friend who consistently spoke truth into my life, some of it to the church I attended for part of my college career, and much of it to the work of the Holy Spirit. And two, YES. It absolutely matters! Every word of Scripture is true, and what we believe about that fact determines how we live our lives and how we train our children.

The Word of God is either completely true, or not true at all. There is no in between. This doesn't require "blind" or mindless faith. There are plenty of academic resources available to confirm a Biblical view of science and history. But to understand this, and to pass it on to our children, requires work on our part. Even in the most well meaning, proactive, Biblically sound churches, our children are not going to get a firm grasp on these concepts. Not because it isn't taught, but because it takes constant, consistent teaching and reteaching. It is a Deuteronomy 6, as you go along the way, kind of teaching.

The bottom line, though, is that our children know what we believe, what they believe, and why. They have to understand why God's Word-ALL of God's Word-is true. If they are taught that any part of it is not true, then they will question it all. If there was no Garden, then was there a stable? If there was no flood, then was there a resurrection? How do you choose what part is true and what part is not true. And really, isn't it easier to believe that the earth was covered by a flood (look at today's news) than to believe that a man rose from the grave after being dead for 3 days?

2 Peter 1:20-25 (New International Version)

20 Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. 21 For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (New International Version)

16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Psalm 119:160 (New International Version)


160 All your words are true;
all your righteous laws are eternal.

Compromised

Poorly behaved kids.

The teaching of evolution, but not creation, in schools.

Immodestly dressed girls.

Increasingly anti-Christian policies in government.

What, you ask, do these things have in common? They are all evidence of a society that has compromised on it's values. I am currently reading Already Compromised, by Ken Ham and Greg Hall, and so the word compromised is on my mind. This book outlines the results of a survey of 200 Christian colleges and universities and their administrators and professors. Their results show that many of our Christian institutions are not teaching what we think they are teaching. They are compromising on God's word in favor of secular teaching.

As I am reading, I am also thinking about other areas of life that fall into this category. The problem, in schools, homes, churches and government houses is that we, as a society, have compromised. Tired moms and dads have said, "Ok" to things they don't really approve of, parents have given in to school systems who want to teach lessons contrary to God's word. Churches have shied away from "hard teaching" for fear of offending someone. Citizens have given up their responsibility to be involved in their communities, states and nation, because they are too busy or just aren't interested. It is all related.

One of the reasons? We are too polite. We are too nice. We don't want to rock the boat. We want to be our kids' friends, not their parents. We want the teachers and principles to like us and our kids. We want our kids to make the team or the grade. We don't want to offend our neighbor, or even strangers. We don't want to work too hard, think too hard, go to any trouble.

Read Ephesians 6: 10-17

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


We are in a battle that encompasses every area of our life. If we don't stand firm for God's truth, we are going to find ourselves in a world where truth is no longer welcome. We are moving there quickly, but we have time to stop that progress. My prayer is that we will raise up a generation that loves the Lord, knows what they believe, and are not afraid to stand for it.

Politics? Yes.

Last week's news about the killing of Usama bin Laden sparked a great deal of discussion and controversy, even among Christians. How do we deal with that kind of news when it comes to our kids? What about other news? Are politics and current events something we should discuss at home? Of course they are!

Now, I will admit, I am a political news junkie. I am "blessed" to have at least one daughter who shares my "passion", and so it is easy for the two of us to have these conversations. But my "less interested" daughter isn't off the hook. Why? Because I believe it is imperative that they have a grasp of what is going on in the world, how it fits into our belief structure, and what they can or should do about it. Otherwise, they are going to get that information somewhere else. My kids don't attend public or private school, but for those who do, they ARE going to hear this stuff. Much of it they are going to hear from their teachers. A good bit of it they are going to hear from their friends. They are going to read it online, hear it on the radio and on tv. Who do we want to help them form their ideas and beliefs?

I believe that it is vitally important for our children to understand our Biblical worldview and how it affects every aspect of our world. My husband and I had the opportunity last fall to participate in The Truth Project at our church. I would recommend this to any older teen and adult. Another great worldview source is Summit Ministries. I have been well acquainted with both of these organizations for years, and can attest that they are doctrinally sound. For parents with young children, educate yourself so that you can have appropriate conversations with your children.

Our conversations are some of my favorite times. Not every family may enjoy watching presidential debates or news conferences together. Two of us enjoy it more than the other two. But I really believe those kinds of things are important. How else are our kids going to know how to respond when a friend or a teacher challenges them? When they are confronted by a point of view that differs from ours, they need to know how to engage in the conversation, and feel secure in their understanding of events.

The Attitude of Christ

This is not the post I was going to write tonight. I was going to write about why it is important to talk to our kids about what is going on in the world and in our country. I will get to that later. This post, while born out of that thought, is different.

There has been a unique, and sad, result of the events of Sunday evening and the news of the death of Usama Bin Laden. There has grown a debate among believers as to what our response should be to his death. Some have responded with rejoicing and excitement that an evil man, a murderer and Christ hater has met justice. Others have expressed sadness over the fact that he is, undoubtedly, now suffering eternal torment. But more troubling than the difference in perspective is the arguing among believers that is taking place as a result.

My fear is that, in his death, Bin Laden will continue to be used as an agent of Satan. If he can divide Christians, and get us distracted, get us debating each other, then he can accomplish his purpose of thwarting the Gospel. Christians who are bickering are Christians who are not witnessing, who are not living power-filled lives for Christ. Christians who are bickering look, to a lost world, just like the world.

There are verses and passages throughout the Word that say we are to love and pray for our enemies. There are also verses and passages that tell us that God punishes the wicked and that blaspheme is not tolerated by God, that His wrath is not held back upon the evil. He is a God of love and He is just and righteous, all at the same time. We may not understand all of that, but it is all true.

Yes, we are called to pray for our enemies. Yes, we can rejoice when evil is thwarted.

Mostly, though, we can not let the world see us bickering and fighting over this...in that case, Bin Laden is just as powerful as ever and Satan gets the victory.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6

Tribute to the Day the World Changed

I wrote the following in my journal on September 11, 2006. I published it a few years ago, but it seems fitting to post it again today. My daughters were 4 and 5 the day the world changed, September 11, 2001.


Five years, and watching it again today I feel the same gut level horror, the heart-racing anxiety, the overwhelming sadness…
I remember the instinct to protect my girls-to not let them see the terrifying images, to remain calm in front of them, to keep conversation normal…keep everything normal. Barney and Blue’s Clues in the den…horror and madness on the screen in my bedroom.
Even as I protected them, did I have even an inkling of the world they would grow up in? Innocence forever shattered…
A world filled with images of men and women in uniform. Flags at half mast. I don’t know how old I was when I learned what half mast meant-it certainly wasn’t 5 or 6, or 9 or 10. Terror alerts, terrorists faces on TV, war updates.
“Mama, have they found Osama Bin Laden yet? Where is he?”
“Mama, is Saddam’s trial over?”
Little girls shouldn’t know such things…or should they?

The changed world they have grown up in has taught them…
-the meaning of liberty
-the preciousness of freedom

They know the Pledge of Allegiance and the all important phrase, “One nation under God”. The Star Spangled Banner and God Bless America.
They know what our nation was founded on, and why it is still important. They recognize the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. They know what the 1st Amendment is, and what it isn’t.
They know about George Washington and John Adams and Abraham Lincoln. They recognize and know about George Bush and Dick Cheney…and Bill Clinton and John Kerry. They know why we support some but not others, and they don’t hesitate to say so. They pray, without prompting, for our nation and its leaders. They thank God for a Christian president.
They say goodbye to friends who leave to go around the world…some to protect freedom, some to preach it. They understand the absolute necessity of both. They welcome friends home from Iraq, and pray for one in Tel Aviv.
Perhaps the loss of innocence meant the birth of something greater…conviction.

Blown Away

I just came back from my (almost) daily walk around my neighborhood. It is a beautiful clear day with a bright blue sky. Birds are singing and the neighborhood is quiet and orderly. Just 24 hours ago, storm clouds were churning overhead and tornado sirens were making themselves heard, not just here, but across the southeast. As I walked, I couldn't help but think about all the people who woke up yesterday to cloudy skies and ended the day amid rubble and devastation, many having lost everything.

The areas in Alabama that were most affected are familiar to me. My family is from that area, I lived in Tuscaloosa as a preschooler. I have family in Birmingham, Jasper, Clanton, not to mention friends nearby. More recently, I have become reacquainted with the area thanks to the generosity of friends with a lake house. And so I have been looking for landmarks, and sad to recognize favorite places like restaurants and stores that are no more. I feel very petty for being sad over a restaurant being gone, but I think it is more than that. It is a connection, making the loss there personal. It is the loss of the routine, the familiar.

As I thought on these things, my heart began to ache for those who have lost everything. Everything. I can't fathom it. I had really thought that I had a grasp of being open handed with God. I don't see myself as being materialistic or selfish. But the thought of those people walking through complete rubble where absolutely nothing is familiar or safe or recognizable takes my breath away. Years ago, I learned a phrase from my dear friend and teacher Randy, "It's all going to burn up in the big fire." He taught us this concept in relation to giving, letting go of our materialism and obsession with our stuff. I am beginning to see that I am comfortable with this concept because when the "big fire" comes, I know I will be with Jesus. It won't matter anymore.

But what about now? What if the big storm comes before the big fire? Would I be ok with that? I don't think I am there yet. I need to work on it. I have a long way to go. My prayer for me, and for you, is that God will teach us that our security is found only in Him. It isn't in our surroundings. It isn't in the familiar. It isn't even in our families. It is in Him alone. My prayer for those who have lost everything is that they will know the same...that God will be their anchor in these days, and that they will cling to Him, that they will find Him, in this storm.

Modesty-What God's Word Says

In my last post, I gave some definitions (some better than others) of modesty. But no definition is adequate unless we look at what God's Word says. His is the definition, the explanation, that matters. What does the Word say about modesty?

1 Timothy 2:9-10 actually uses the word "modestly" (well, at least the English translation does). "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." These verses are part of Paul's instructions on living a lifestyle of worship. In verse 2 he directed believers to live "peaceful, quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." The reference to braided hair, gold and pearls was probably in response to class issues in the church. The rich were often guilty of showing off their riches, making the poor feel out of place. Paul's instructions then were to stress that a woman's dress was not to be showy, flaunting wealth, status or beauty. She was not to be a distraction to others. Drawing attention to herself meant drawing attention away from God.

The original language here used the Greek word Aidos. How does this word compare to the definitions from earlier? Aidos (pronounced ahee-doce') means to have a sense of shame, modesty, self-respect, awe. Not a negative type of shame, but a righteous sense attached to doing anything that would be disgraceful. In other words, the self-restraint to keep oneself from any behavior that would bring shame.

There is another word in these verses that carries a similar meaning: Propriety. Propriety is a translation of the Greek word Kosmios, meaning well-ordered, decent, modest, harmonious arrangement. One explanation I found said, "The well-ordering is not of dress and demeanor only, but of the inner life...expressing itself in the outward."

And so, in just these two verses, is the idea that modesty is born out of an inner sense of respect and humility, with a well ordered sense of self that does not seek attention. What, then, does that look like? It does not look flashy, or flamboyant. It does not draw the eye (particularly the male eye). It points away from itself, and hopefully points to the Creator. True beauty is from within, and accentuates outward beauty. Likewise, inward beauty is lost in translation when the outward appearance is distracting in any way.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. 1 John 2:16

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

Modesty

Modesty. What is it? Does anyone really know anymore? We talk about it a lot. I know I have talked about it, and thought about it, a lot lately. But what is modesty, exactly? How is it defined? What does it mean?

These questions prompted me to do some research. I have discovered several definitions of modesty, and discovered some interesting facts in the process. The definition has certainly changed over the years...as has the practice. Big surprise, huh?

I started with Webster. Not the modern Webster, but with the original. In 1828, Mr. Webster defined modesty in this way:

"That lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one's own worth and importance. ...synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor."

That definition would never make it into today's lexicons. In fact, it didn't. Mr. Webster would not be well thought of by the women's lib groups today.

So, what did the more modern dictionaries have to say about modesty? The modern Mirriam Webster dictionary said this: "freedom from conceit or vanity; propriety in dress or vanity". Short and sweet. Like everything else today, it is dumbed down. It bears only a slight resemblance to the original. And there is absolutely no reference to the connection between women and modesty. Not politically correct, I suppose.

I found yet another definition. This may be my favorite (said in a rather sarcastic tone). MacMillandictionary.com gave this definition: "behavior, especially by women, that is designed to avoid causing sexual feelings in other people; a feeling of being shy or embarrassed about other people seeing your body". Seriously? MacMillan did manage to bring women back into the equation. But it went beyond Mirriam Webster's dumbing down, and sexualized the whole thing.

And therein, my friends, lies the problem.

Going back to our first definition, modesty has to do with inner worth and value. It is an outward expression of a pure heart and mind. And regardless of how offensive this may be to some, it is a feminine trait. My next post will be about how the Bible deals with modesty. But for now I will say that almost all of the references I have found deal with modesty and women. A girl, or a woman, who values herself and has a pure mind and heart will behave modestly. She will not want to draw inappropriate attention to herself. She will be more concerned with the inward than with the outward.

Today's understanding of modesty has been stripped of it's original meaning and in its place is a superficial, simplistic, carnal definition. It is so vague that few understand it, and most are offended by it. Modern feminism has convinced women that their bodies are theirs to do with what they please. Any suggestion that they should be "shy or embarrassed about other people seeing your body" (MacMillan's definition) is disregarded as preposterous and degrading.

The first step in a return to modesty, then, is to understand what it means. The next, more important step is to know what God says about it.

Resurrection Power

But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. 1 Corinthians 15:12-21 (NIV)

This Resurrection Weekend, my prayer for you is that you will indeed live as if He has been raised from the dead! That truth means that in Christ, we have also been raised from the dead! Feel that truth! Live that truth! Do not let fear, anxiety, bitterness, busyness, or anything else steal that from you! Don't miss out on all the glorious wonder Christ has for you!

He lives! He reigns! He is coming back! Live like you believe it!

Seasons

When my girls were very little, babies really, I made a decision. I have a vivid memory of sitting in the rocking chair holding a fussy baby with another baby napping nearby. It had been a long morning, and I had gotten absolutely nothing productive done. At least nothing I considered productive before that day. But as I sat there rocking that baby, I changed my priorities and my definition of productivity. My decision that morning was essentially this: I decided that I would treasure every moment and every stage. I didn't want to spend my days wishing their lives (and mine) away...wishing for the next (better) stage. I never wanted to look back and wish I had spent more time or done things differently. I wanted to leave every stage knowing that I had done everything I could possibly do to live that stage to the fullest. A few years later, a sweet friend gave a name to my decision. Delana talked often of "seasons". There are seasons in our lives, and the trick is learning to fully live whatever season we find ourselves in, with no apologies and no regrets.

Understanding the concept of seasons has given me a great deal of freedom over the years. It helped me get through the toddler years, knowing that potty training wouldn't last forever. When we were dealing with allergies and sinus infections and nebulizers and chest x-rays, it made it easier knowing that I wouldn't be stuck at home with a sick little one forever. When we started school at home, I knew that it was a season in my life dedicated to teaching my children everything God want me to teach them, and that there would come a season when I could return to ladies Bible studies and lunches out. Understanding seasons has also often gotten me "off the hook" in a sense. I can say "no" without guilt. Right now, the season I am in is "mother to very busy teenagers, and high school homeschool teacher". That often means "No, I am sorry, but I just can't do that right now." You see, it's just a season, and I have learned that the seasons pass faster than you can imagine.

These days, I find myself wanting to cling to my season. The days are passing by too quickly. But I have to remind myself of that early promise...no wishing away, and no looking back with regret. God has been so faithful, and I can honestly say that every season has been better than the last. I know that there are wonderful seasons to come, and I don't want to enter them looking over my shoulder. I want to be able to fully enjoy the seasons to come. So excuse me for now if I am sometimes unavailable. I am treasuring today's season so that I won't miss out on tomorrow because of regret.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Bombarded

I have been bombarded this afternoon. Bombarded by the truth of what the world would like to bombard my children with. (Yes, I know they are young ladies, teenagers, but they are my children.) I am not sure if things are degenerating as rapidly as it seems, or if I am just more acutely aware of it lately. Probably a little of both.

I was alerted earlier today by two of my younger friends to the lyrics of Lady Gaga's newest song. I confess, I am not completely sure who Lady Gaga is. I have heard of her. I have heard people I know talk about her. I am pretty sure I have heard people I know compliment her "talent". I have never seen her or heard any of her songs. As of today, I know the name of one song. A little while ago I Googled it and read the lyrics. Afterward I felt like I needed to take a bath, ask forgiveness, and have my eyes and brain purged. I was disgusted and saddened. My young friends suggested she needs prayer. I agree. I won't link the song here. If you are interested, you will have to find it.

How many of our kids listen to this trash? What is going into their heads? Does anyone realize that what goes in their ears and their eyes goes straight into their heads? Once it is there, it is there to stay. And from their heads, it goes to their hearts. I am a stickler for what goes into my kids nutritionally. I am not a "food nazi" by any means, but I am cautious and do my best to make sure they are getting adequate nutrition. I care about what goes into them. I want them to live long, healthy lives. But I care even more about what goes into them in a spiritual sense. We have kids growing up spiritually starved, filling up on trash and junk and downright heresy.

Is it just music? Is it just a movie? A tv show? A book? Is is really JUST that? What is it doing to their minds and their hearts? Is it slowly numbing them to the truth? I would never feed my kids burgers and fries and chips all week, then throw in an apple once or twice a week and say I have done a good job feeding them. Why, then, would I let them live on a diet of trashy music, tv, movies and literature (I'm stretching, here, using the word literature, but bear with me) and throw in a quick prayer at bedtime, or a Bible verse, or a trip to church, and say I have done a good job?

The world is quickly losing all sense of morality. Maybe it is already lost. But those who belong to Christ are not of this world. As parents, we have to fight, and fight hard, to protect the hearts and minds of our children. Start young, and never give up. Just because they become teenagers doesn't mean our job is done. In fact, it is harder than ever. I read a statistic last night that was chilling. According to research by the Barna Group, less than one-half of one percent of adults ages 18-23 (that's college age) have a Biblical worldview. One-half of one percent! Surely 99.5 percent of those kids didn't grow up in atheistic homes. Surely many of them grew up going to church, in "Christian" homes. So what happened? I am not sure, but I have some ideas. Somewhere along the way, the 0.5 percent understood that what they were being taught about the Bible, what they were being taught AT HOME about God, had everything to do with every other part of their lives. They were raised on a spiritual diet that was consistent and pervasive.

Consistent and pervasive. That's the world's strategy. It has to be ours.

Different

Therefore, come out from them and be separate. 2 Corinthians 6:17

As believers, we are called to be different. Separate from the world. Not separated, but distinct from the world. How does that look?

In our family, this began to take shape when our girls were very young. Our oldest was not yet 3 when we felt God call us to begin this homeschooling journey. We knew, with certainty, how Deuteronomy 6 was to happen in our house. We have learned along the way how it would look, and we are still learning. It isn't easy to intentionally impress God's law on their hearts.

But do you have to homeschool to obey Deuteronomy 6? I don't think so. Those of you who know me know that I am a very vocal, very committed advocate of homeschooling. I understand, though, that not everyone is called to homeschool, and not everyone who is called heeds that call. So does that preclude them, as parents, from the mandate of Deuteronomy 6? Absolutely not. I would suggest that carrying it out is harder, both from a time perspective and an environmental perspective. But I know godly parents who have successfully instilled God's Word in their children while their children were (are) involved in traditional schooling.

The verse above is one of the keys. Our children have to be taught that they are to be different. To teach it, though, we have to understand and embrace it ourselves. Being different generally doesn't come naturally. We have a tendency ourselves to want to be like everyone else. I am not sure where that desire comes from, but I believe it is part of our fallen nature. In Deuteronomy 17, God told the Israelites (through Moses) that they would seek a king like all the other nations around them. He knew this was their nature. He knows the same is true for us. Without the help of the Holy Spirit our natural desire is to be like the world.

So we have to come to an understanding that, in Christ, we are distinct. Our desires have to be conformed to His desires. It is no longer about the house or the car or the job. We often blame peer pressure for some of the battles our kids face. But more often, I believe, our children are looking to imitate us. If mom and dad are focused on the house and car and job, if they are focused on the neighborhood and the school district and the college choice, then doesn't it stand to reason that our children will be too? On the flip side, if mom and dad are focused-truly focused-on serving the Lord with all their heart, mind, and soul (and yes, even with their money and time) then perhaps our children will be as well.

I have always been okay with being different. But I will confess, as my children grow older, it is becoming more difficult. Not because my values are changing, but because the support from the outside is waning. It is a lonely place to be some days. But it is the right place. I know that the payoff is huge. As my children grow closer to adulthood, I am beginning to catch glimpses of the payoff and it is such an exciting place to be in life. My encouragement to other parents is to stand firm, and stand together. We need each other. It makes such a difference to know that there are other moms and dads fighting this fight with us. Don't be afraid to look different.

Conversations

Yesterday, this video made its way around Facebook. I posted it, as did a number of other people. It is the second half of a sermon on modesty. Essentially, the speaker is reading parts of letters from young men about their daily struggle with lust, and how they are affected my the immodest dress of girls/women. It was very eye opening and convicting.

I sat down with both my girls and we spent about 45 minutes, first listening to the entire sermon (including part 1 which is a different video), and then talking about it. I learned something very important. I can not assume anything as it pertains to my daughter's understanding of the world. Even though we have discussed it, even though they have heard it taught in several different environments, they still did not comprehend just how visual males are, or how that affects them.

Based on this video, as well as the testimony of others, including my husband, I described to them just what a young man (or any man) sees and thinks about when they see a girl dressed immodestly. I explained that when he sees a girl in a short skirt with her legs crossed, or in a low cut or strapless top, his focus is drawn (against his will, even) to her body. They were truly surprised. They really had no idea. In their words, "That's just creepy!" Yes it is.

I have to insert here that my girls are not allowed to wear that type of clothing, nor have they ever expressed such a desire. But, I felt it was important to impress on them the reality of this and to give them even more reason for dressing modestly, beyond it just being Godly and ladylike.

As we ended, I told them, "See, when I tell you that I think you need to change t-shirts because the one you have on is a little too thin, or a little too tight, or that your dress has become too short, it isn't because I don't want you to wear cute clothes. It's because I am protecting you." It was obvious by the look on their faces, by the understanding in their eyes, that they got it.

This was a wonderful experience for me. It was a sweet time with my girls, walking with them through yet another door to maturity. It was affirming for all of us. It wasn't awkward, or forced. They certainly didn't resent it. I say that to encourage other moms to have the same conversations. Don't assume they already know it. Don't think they don't want to talk to you. Don't let anyone else have the privilege. Worse yet, don't let them go through life without knowing truth.

Don't You Know?

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 1 Corinthians 6:19

I have been struggling with this post for days. There is so much I want to say, and yet I have no idea how to say it all. This is essentially what prompted me to begin blogging again. God has put a burden in my heart like nothing I have felt in a long time. I think about it much of the day. I have prayed, I have talked, I have even shed tears over this thing.

Modesty is not even an accurate word, although that's what it centers around.

My heart is for my daughters' generation, and those to follow. My desire is to encourage other moms, especially younger moms, in the battle. And believe me, it is a battle. It is a battle for the hearts and minds, and yes bodies, of our children. The enemy wants them. The world would happily hand them to him.

Moms (and Dads) HAVE to get in the battle. It seems more and more people have just given up, or been lulled into believing that they can't do anything, or have fallen into the lie themselves. They don't even try anymore. I want to stand up and shout WAKE UP! There are parents out there giving their children up without a fight. There are some who are just giving them away.

Do our girls know what boys see when they look at them? Do they understand that any suggestion of sexuality is more than enough encouragement for a boy? Where are the moms and dads when their daughters leave the house? Why aren't they saying anything? Why aren't they fighting for their daughters? Why aren't they protecting them? Why aren't they protecting the eyes and the minds of the boys who will see them?

No, it is not easy. It isn't convenient. And, as I am learning, it is absolutely not popular. But it is vitally important. Their lives depend on it. Literally. I want my daughters to reach adulthood whole, healthy, safe, and pure. How could I want less? Christian parents, please, please, please...quit sleeping.

Hard Things

"On hearing it, many of his disciples said, 'This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?'

"From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him." John 6:60 and 66


These verses represent a crossroads of sorts in Jesus' life and ministry. Up to this point, he had been followed by multitudes hanging on his every word, anxiously awaiting his next miracle, hoping for something for themselves. But now his teaching shifted. These verses follow the "Bread of Life" discourse in which Jesus introduced himself as the Bread of Life, the only way to salvation. He said that eternal life was only by his flesh and his blood; only by his life and death and resurrection. Jesus' teaching began to change. Reading the Gospels, you see that the closer he got to his crucifixion, the more personal his message became, and the smaller his group of followers became. Why? Because his teachings became harder. Following Jesus costs something. Following Jesus costs everything.

Things haven't changed. It is relatively easy to attend church, go to Sunday School (or Life Group, or Small Group...), wear the t-shirt, put the "God Loves You" bumper sticker on the car. Easy, as long as it's not too hard. Or too inconvenient.

Parenting is the same way. In fact, as I think about it, the two are pretty closely tied together. It's easy to do the obvious things. The things that "look" right. But the enthusiasm wanes when it gets too hard; or too inconvenient. Just like following Jesus costs something, being a Godly parent costs something...costs everything. Just like I lost my right to myself when I chose to follow Jesus, I lost my right to myself when I became a mother. Not a very popular thought in our "take care of yourself" culture.

Often saying no is hard. Saying yes is just easier. Yes you can go, yes you can have it, yes you can quit, yes you can... I don't like to see disappointment in my children's faces. I don't like for them to be sad. I don't like for them to be angry. Sometimes I just don't feel like fighting the battle. But, just as God is more interested in my character than my happiness, I am more concerned with their character than their happiness. So, sometimes I say no. Wow...I have learned a lot about God in this process. And about myself. And about how he loves me.

So I will keep doing the hard things...as a Jesus follower, and as a parent.

Unequally Yoked-More On the Temple

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

I just can't get away from this passage.

For years, I understood this verse to be a reference to marriage. Believers shouldn't marry unbelievers. And I still think that is true. But over the years, I have come to understand that it means so much more. Obviously, dating would be the next application. As the parents of two teen daughters, this has been a point of discussion in our home. (I won't elaborate more because I am sure the issue of dating will garner its own post, or series of posts.)

More recently, however, the concept of being "unequally yoked" has taken on even more facets for me. Friendships, for instance, come to mind. Tweenagers and teenagers are relational creatures. And those relationships are most often with their peers. They are influenced tremendously by their friends. Therefore, it is vitally important to consider who is influencing them. The counter to this idea is that our children, as Christians, should be "salt and light". True. They should be. But we need to teach them, train them, to differentiate between "close friends" and acquaintances". They need to be "equally yoked" in their friendships. They need to be sure (we, as parents, need to be sure) that the friends who are influencing them, in whom they are investing emotionally, are friends who share their values, beliefs, and faith.

There is another area this "unequally yoked" idea can be applied. This one has come to me in the last couple of years, and is the one I have been thinking about recently. It may be a stretch, but I think it is valid. I believe that we can be unequally yoked in the activities we, or our children, invest in. "Invest" is the key word. Obviously, there are many activities that are not expressly Christian. We do live IN the world. How do you determine, then, if they are unequally yoked in a particular activity? Obviously, there is not always a clear cut answer. But there are some questions we can ask:

-Can my child do this activity "to the glory of God"?

-How emotionally invested is he/she in this activity?

-How much time/money/energy is invested in this activity?

-Is this activity influencing my child's worldview? and Does this activity conflict with our family's worldview? *This question is vital. I think any activity that is in contrast to a Christian worldview is putting a child on dangerous ground.

-Can my child maintain his/her witness while being affiliated with this activity?

There are other questions to consider. I don't pretend to think this is an easy thing to do. Our family has had to deal with these questions and make hard choices. But we are always looking at the long term goal. And the older my children become, the more aware I am that the long term goal is more than worth the hard work. Because, again, this is the Temple we are talking about.

The Temple-Part Two

This post has been edited for typos. I should learn to proof before I post

I am still thinking about the idea of the temple, and how we are to honor it. And I am still, of course, referring to the Christian as the temple of God.

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple." 1 Cor. 3:16-17

"For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said, 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' 'Therefore come out from them and be separate.' " 2 Cor. 6:16-17a

God is serious about this, and we should be as well. Even more, this is another one of those things we are to "impress on our children". How do we treat ourselves as God's temple? The issue of self esteem comes to mind. Self esteem is another one of those issues that our culture has taken and twisted, turning it into yet another way to put man above God.

Entire curricula have been written around this theme. Lessons on self esteem have taken their place alongside reading, spelling and history. There are shelves and shelves of books about self esteem in libraries and bookstores. If we were to believe these things, we would believe that we are the most important person in the world. Our children would believe that they are most important, and that their ideas, wants and dreams are of greatest importance? Aren't they?

I say no.

Yes, that is what I say. Do I want my children to think they aren't the most important person in the world? Do I want them to think that being the best at whatever they do is not the top priority? If I am seeking to disciple them in a Christlike life, then the answer to those question is yes.

"And he said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.' " Matt. 18:3-4

So, am I saying we should beat them down and tell them they are worthless? Of course not. It has already been established we (as believers) are the temple of the living God. We are created in the likeness of Him. He knew us before we took form in our mother's womb. He knit us together. He knit our children together. They are precious to him.

I believe the secret is teaching them to value themselves in relation to Him. It is all about perspective. Once we (and they) understand who He is, and who we are in relationship to Him, then we can appreciate our place, and our children can as well. They can begin to understand that they are His workmanship "created in Christ Jesus to do good works." ( Eph. 2:10). They can begin to strive to do their best, be their best, not for their own glory, but for His. "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus..." (Col. 3:17).

The idea, then, is for them to learn to honor themselves as God's temple. To be a temple worthy of the Lord.

The Temple

2 Corinthians 6

14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:
“I will live with them
and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they will be my people.”

17 Therefore,

“Come out from them
and be separate,
says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you.”

18 And,

“I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.”[d]

2 Corinthians 7

1 Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

Our pastor preached on this passage a year or so ago. I promptly went home and told my girls that we would be memorizing these verses. I was so struck by the import of these words. "For we are the temple of the living God." Wow! My heart was full for my girls to understand that thought.

The world is out to convince them otherwise. "Your body is your own." "You are supposed to look, act, be a certain way." "You aren't good enough.". The media, their friends, all the world screams at them. But God has declared, in a quiet voice, yet in a loud roar, "You are mine! You are my dwelling place!" Oh for them to hear that, and to know it with a knowing that is deeper than any hurt or fear or question. The Word of God is, indeed, living and active, it never returns void. So, rather than try to convince them myself, I determined to let Him plant it firmly in their hearts.

That doesn't let me off the hook, though. I still have an obligation. It's that Deuteronomy thing again. Teach them as you sit at home, as you walk along the way, when you get up and when you lie down. So, how do I teach them to honor the Lord's temple? How do I protect them from all the world throws at them? How, as they are becoming young women, do I teach them to protect themselves? It is a battle I face daily, one they face daily, and will all their lives.

Outward beauty is a huge deal for girls. And it is a fragile thing, a tightrope of too much, too little. To dwell on it too much breeds discontent and vanity. But isn't it ok to encourage a girl to look her best? To revel in being a girl? I say yes. Back to the temple...God had specific instructions regarding the appearance of the temple and its care. He was not pleased when it was not treated properly. I believe he wants us to look our best. But we are not to worship the temple.

There is a clothing line I have recently discovered called Nation's Outfitters. They are a Christian company, and I love their motto: "It's what you do in your clothes that makes you beautiful." What a great thought! You can dress up all you want, but if the girl inside doesn't reflect the beauty of the Lord, it's all emptiness. Sometimes they are "beautiful" in old jeans and a sweatshirt. Sometimes they are beautiful in a dress and heels and earrings.

The hardest part, for me, of navigating this whole issue, is helping them find modest, yet pretty, clothes. Have you been in the mall lately? We have some pretty strict rules around here. Stricter than most. They aren't just dressing themselves, they are adorning the temple. I have felt blessed, though, to have never faced an argument with either girl about our rules. Maybe an "Are you sure?" a few times, but nothing more. I hope that is because our "rules" are not just rules for them, but their own convictions. That is the goal, for them to take ownership of their own temple.