I happened to have time to watch a daytime/morning network program yesterday...one of those "little bit of everything" shows. The first segment involved an interview/chat with a "celebrity" aka someone who happened to become famous because she exchanged her real life for a fantasy life on a "reality" show (get the irony there?). The entire exchange was ridiculous, but toward the end, I heard her say something that I hear other women say quite often. Real women who have real lives. She was talking about her children and how marriage and children have changed her life, the "sacrifices" she has had to make. She said that she has started a web based business and that it has "given me adult interaction". In other words, having that business has, in her mind, validated her as a human.
That is the lie that Hollywood and the media and the "cultural elite" would have women believe. Being a wife is only important if it is beneficial socially. And being a mother, while possibly "fun", or "cute", or "exciting", is certainly not a worthwhile endeavor. Being a wife and a mother is ok for a side job, but not for a primary occupation. Women believe this. I hear it all the time. I see it lived out all the time. It is a lie, and it is responsible for many unhappy women, men and children; responsible for many unhappy marriages and families.
Moms, you are not just an essential part of society. You are probably the most essential part. You provide the sanctuary where the families who make up our culture can grow and flourish. You (hopefully with your husband) provide the moral, educational, and hopefully Biblical foundation for them. You are NOT "just a mom", and you do NOT need a paying career to validate yourself. More than that, the time invested in your children's life is precious and does not need to be supplemented with equal amounts of "adult time". I want to be careful here...I am not saying moms don't need friends or fellowship or social outlets. We absolutely do. We need to recharge and we need support. But the world would have you believe that if you are spending 75% or more of your time with your children, you are missing out and you are suffering. If you listen to that for long you will begin to believe it and you will begin to feel like you are suffering. Suddenly your time with your children becomes a drudgery and something you resent.
I want to point out that this post is not about whether or not a woman should have a career. There are many wonderful mothers who have careers, either by choice or by necessity. This is, rather, about the perception that motherhood in and of itself is not sufficiently worthwhile.
Perspective is important. Do you believe you are worthwhile as a mom? Do you believe the time, energy, and emotion you are investing is worthwhile? Do you see the end goal of healthy, spiritually and emotionally mature children (young adults)? Do you understand you are a vital link between this generation and the next? If you do, then you can invest wholeheartedly. Then you can take time away to socialize and recharge and return home with excitement and joy. And when those times away don't come as frequent as you might wish, remember that in a few short years you will have more time on your own than you ever imagined. Use this time wisely.
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (and, I would add, they are short) Ephesians 5:15-16
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Leave of Absence
I am sure you have all noticed my absence and missed me terribly. No? Oh well, that's ok! The truth is, it's June. In church life that means I am either at VBS or Student Camp (already been) or getting ready to send a teenager to be a counselor at Children's camp (check), or recoving from all any and all of the above. Add to that Ballet Intensive starting this weekend and a husband who has been out of town for two straight weeks, and you have a mom with no time to blog.
That doesn't mean that God hasn't shown me some really great things lately. I am becoming more and more aware of his voice whispering to me throughout my day. It isn't that His voice hasn't always been there, but my ears aren't always tuned in. It's amazing what slowing down just a little and taking time to be still will do for you. Honestly, I haven't had much slowing down time. But the more time I spend with Him, the more tuned the ears of my heart are so that He can whisper to me as I go through my day.
Today, for instance, I was making a quick run to the store. More specifically, BACK to the store for that one thing I always forget and can't live without. I was in a hurry and absentmindedly listening to the radio when a song came on that I have never heard before. It's not a new song, and I can't imagine why I have never heard it. But God was saving it for me for today. Here is Steven Curtis Chapman, singing Do Everything.
I hope it blesses you the way it blessed me today. Mom's EVERYTHING we do is worth doing and is worth doing to His Glory.
That doesn't mean that God hasn't shown me some really great things lately. I am becoming more and more aware of his voice whispering to me throughout my day. It isn't that His voice hasn't always been there, but my ears aren't always tuned in. It's amazing what slowing down just a little and taking time to be still will do for you. Honestly, I haven't had much slowing down time. But the more time I spend with Him, the more tuned the ears of my heart are so that He can whisper to me as I go through my day.
Today, for instance, I was making a quick run to the store. More specifically, BACK to the store for that one thing I always forget and can't live without. I was in a hurry and absentmindedly listening to the radio when a song came on that I have never heard before. It's not a new song, and I can't imagine why I have never heard it. But God was saving it for me for today. Here is Steven Curtis Chapman, singing Do Everything.
I hope it blesses you the way it blessed me today. Mom's EVERYTHING we do is worth doing and is worth doing to His Glory.
Friday, June 10, 2011
The Umbrella
This week has been VBS Unplugged week at our church. The "Unplugged" is something our church started a couple of y ears ago-taking VBS and the message of God's love to the neighborhoods and communities around our church, instead of waiting for them to come to us.
My "site", the community that I was assigned to be leader over, is actually a neighborhood in a nearby town. I was actually working with a mission church of our own church, and so I was partnering with that church's pastor.
Tuesday afternoon, storm clouds began rolling in and phones began ringing with the question, "Will VBS go on?" VBS, as we do it, takes place outside, and many of our sites have no "inside" option. My site was one of those with no rain plan. We went right up to the last minute hoping for the best. But as we pulled into town, it was obvious that the weather was not going to cooperate. All my phone calls and text messages and prayers aside, it was going to storm.
I can't tell you what a relief it was, as we pulled into the parking lot of our site, to see the church pastor (my co-leader) standing with all of our workers, obviously informing them that we were going to have to cancel for the night. I really did not want to have to make that decision. What freedom for me to be out from under that responsibility. It was, after all, his community. This is the area his church is ministering to. It was his call to make.
What does my story have to do with parenting? This is how God has designed the family. There is a chain of authority he has established-an umbrella of protection he has placed over us. That umbrella is so freeing when it is exercised with Godly leadership. We can operate freely under that umbrella. Our children can live safely under that umbrella. It isn't a burden, but a blessing. When families live under God's authority, when wives function under their husband's authority and when children live under their parent's authority, the family functions as it was intended. The storms of life will come. But God's umbrella of authority protects us from decisions and choices that aren't ours to make. Submission and obedience aren't meant to weigh us down, they are meant to make our lives easier. And they provide a Godly example for our children to follow. From parents submitting to God to children obeying parents, and everywhere in between, we are to live out God's plan for our lives and for our family. And as we do, we flourish.
My "site", the community that I was assigned to be leader over, is actually a neighborhood in a nearby town. I was actually working with a mission church of our own church, and so I was partnering with that church's pastor.
Tuesday afternoon, storm clouds began rolling in and phones began ringing with the question, "Will VBS go on?" VBS, as we do it, takes place outside, and many of our sites have no "inside" option. My site was one of those with no rain plan. We went right up to the last minute hoping for the best. But as we pulled into town, it was obvious that the weather was not going to cooperate. All my phone calls and text messages and prayers aside, it was going to storm.
I can't tell you what a relief it was, as we pulled into the parking lot of our site, to see the church pastor (my co-leader) standing with all of our workers, obviously informing them that we were going to have to cancel for the night. I really did not want to have to make that decision. What freedom for me to be out from under that responsibility. It was, after all, his community. This is the area his church is ministering to. It was his call to make.
What does my story have to do with parenting? This is how God has designed the family. There is a chain of authority he has established-an umbrella of protection he has placed over us. That umbrella is so freeing when it is exercised with Godly leadership. We can operate freely under that umbrella. Our children can live safely under that umbrella. It isn't a burden, but a blessing. When families live under God's authority, when wives function under their husband's authority and when children live under their parent's authority, the family functions as it was intended. The storms of life will come. But God's umbrella of authority protects us from decisions and choices that aren't ours to make. Submission and obedience aren't meant to weigh us down, they are meant to make our lives easier. And they provide a Godly example for our children to follow. From parents submitting to God to children obeying parents, and everywhere in between, we are to live out God's plan for our lives and for our family. And as we do, we flourish.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The Quest: A Public Service Announcement
My girls and I found ourselves with some free time yesterday afternoon, and as we were already out, they decided it would be a good time to go on The Quest. You know...The Quest for this year's pool apparel. Anyone who has pre-teen or teen girls, and who actually cares what their girls wear outside of their bedroom, understands how incredibly difficult The Quest can be. Slightly less fun than getting your teeth cleaned.
Now, I have to say, I am blessed. I have never had to engage in debate with either of them over what is appropriate, and what is not. They understand the parameters clearly. As they demonstrated yesterday, they have made those standards their own.
We visited six stores. I did little to no work. I followed them through store after store, through display after display, while they sorted through the few "acceptable" options, eventually finding almost all of them unacceptable. I gave little direction. Occasionally I would point one or another choice out, each time to be turned down. It got old fast. I was ready to be done, but they were on a Quest and determined to find something. I began to realize at some point that they had a plan, a vision, and they just needed to fulfill it. So I followed along, and drove from store to store.
It was in the last store that the Quest reached it's end and the vision was fulfilled. Tim Hawkins has a comedy set that refers to finding what you are looking for in the last place you look. It always applies. In the last store, both girls went through the usual browsing, showing little interest in what was available, and were clearly disinterested in the options. Eventually, both made their way to another part of the store.
This is the public service announcement portion of this post. I want to offer the following suggestion to you moms with girls who would like something a little different this year. I would have never thought of this on my own. I thought it was pretty brilliant of them to come up with this.
They went from this area of the store:
To this one:
And what they ended up with was something like this:
The fabric is water resistant, basically the same stuff the swimwear is made of. The top is longer than a swimsuit top, so it sits over their hips instead of edging up and showing belly. It is also snugly fitted so it won't flow up with the water. I suppose you (or your girl) could wear regular swim bottoms with the top if the color matched, but my girls have taken to preferring shorts anyway. Either way, you are going to want bottoms under the shorts, but you probably already have a drawer full. Also, depending on her age, size, etc. you are probably going to need "something" under the top, but the makers of these tanks make coordinating "sports bras". And the cost of the whole outfit? At JC Penny, where everthing is 40% off right now, $51 and some change.
Bingo! This has been your public service announcement for the summer. Happy swimming!
Now, I have to say, I am blessed. I have never had to engage in debate with either of them over what is appropriate, and what is not. They understand the parameters clearly. As they demonstrated yesterday, they have made those standards their own.
We visited six stores. I did little to no work. I followed them through store after store, through display after display, while they sorted through the few "acceptable" options, eventually finding almost all of them unacceptable. I gave little direction. Occasionally I would point one or another choice out, each time to be turned down. It got old fast. I was ready to be done, but they were on a Quest and determined to find something. I began to realize at some point that they had a plan, a vision, and they just needed to fulfill it. So I followed along, and drove from store to store.
It was in the last store that the Quest reached it's end and the vision was fulfilled. Tim Hawkins has a comedy set that refers to finding what you are looking for in the last place you look. It always applies. In the last store, both girls went through the usual browsing, showing little interest in what was available, and were clearly disinterested in the options. Eventually, both made their way to another part of the store.
This is the public service announcement portion of this post. I want to offer the following suggestion to you moms with girls who would like something a little different this year. I would have never thought of this on my own. I thought it was pretty brilliant of them to come up with this.
They went from this area of the store:
To this one:
And what they ended up with was something like this:
The fabric is water resistant, basically the same stuff the swimwear is made of. The top is longer than a swimsuit top, so it sits over their hips instead of edging up and showing belly. It is also snugly fitted so it won't flow up with the water. I suppose you (or your girl) could wear regular swim bottoms with the top if the color matched, but my girls have taken to preferring shorts anyway. Either way, you are going to want bottoms under the shorts, but you probably already have a drawer full. Also, depending on her age, size, etc. you are probably going to need "something" under the top, but the makers of these tanks make coordinating "sports bras". And the cost of the whole outfit? At JC Penny, where everthing is 40% off right now, $51 and some change.
Bingo! This has been your public service announcement for the summer. Happy swimming!
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