My two best friends have both expressed anxiety in the last couple of weeks about the passage of time. They have caused me to stop and think about how I deal with the same issue. I am not a hugely emotional person...I have my moments, but they are few and far between. I love life, I laugh and hug and cry. But I am not generally a "softy". But still, I have been wondering how some of the very same issues can cause us to react so differently. We are all three facing major life changes in our children's lives. How is it that 3 people who are so close and share so much can react so differently?
I tend to live in "today". I plan for the future...I am fairly organized, I like to have a schedule and know what is coming next. I bug people to death (ask my boss or Funandone) about giving me specific details so I can know what to expect. But once I know what is coming, I'm fine. I go on about my business with a "cross that bridge when I come to it" mentality. I also treasure the past (at least the past that is worth treasuring...the rest I just "chunk" into the forgetfulness part of my brain). But I treasure it in it's proper place. That is why I scrapbook, and maybe why I started blogging...so I can have a place to record important events, thoughts, moments, etc. I save some stuff, but not alot. I periodically go through my "stuff"-big and small-and throw stuff away or give it away. I guess I do the same with my memories and emotions. I sift through them, and try not to hang onto the stuff that clutters my life or weighs me down.
So, how does this apply to my children? I think I have said on this blog before that I have thoroughly enjoyed EVERY stage of their lives. I can remember when they were babies making the conscious decision to take in every moment and treasure it. As they move from one stage to the next, I put the past in it's place in my mind (treasured memory or trash bin) and keep going. I try not to spend too much time thinking about what is coming next year (once I have figured out the basic plan). I really do try to enjoy one day, one week, one month at a time. That way I don't feel like I have missed anything, and I am ready for the next adventure.
Every once in a great while, I will catch a glimpse of a baby picture and feel a twinge of "missing" that moment. And occassionally I have days where I feel like the future is coming at me full steam ahead. But generally, I just enjoy where we are today. I wonder what that says about me?
2 comments:
i think you have so much sweet stuff to look forward to with 2 precious girls. you'll be glad you scrapbook so you can remember all the sweet stuff gone by.
it is my personal experience that everything you don't have a picture of or write about gets lost on the side of the road on the highway of life.
so keep on bloggin' and scrapbookin'!
I think you are so grounded and really take life as it comes. You are lucky you have enjoyed and taken in each stage of your girls lives. Some of my kids stages are a big blur and I hate that I guess now I am no longer in a baby fog or preganat fog I want to hold onto every moment so I do not forget. Luckyly I have a great friend like you who helps me remember moments in my kids lives and will remind me now if I forget. I hope this blog and my scrappin will help too. I really should journal daily about each of them maybe that is my next step. But for now I will keep on keepin on and lean on a freind when I need to and she can help me keep my tears to a minimum and a smile on my face.
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