Deuteronomy 6

"These commands that I give you today are to be on your heart. Impress them on your children."

This verse has been the guiding principle of my life as a mother since before my girls were born. It is also the hardest thing I have ever done. What I have discovered, along the way, is that "impressing" on my children has little to do with what I say. It has everything to do with what I do. And so, in order to impress God's Word on my children's lives, I have had to allow God to impress his Word on my life. Ouch. It has been, and still is, an ongoing process.

The "do as I say, not as I do" mentality has led to the culture we now live in. Children don't buy that. Just look at the thousands of adults who grew up in church, only to leave it the minute they were out from under their parents' authority. Why? Because mom and dad's behavior-what they did-never matched up to what they said they believed.

It is easy to say "be kind to others". It's not so easy to be polite to the girl at the checkout counter who messes up my order three times on a day I am in a hurry. It is easy to say "don't talk about your friends", but it's not so easy to hold my tongue when I don't agree with how someone else does something. It is easy to make a rule, choose a standard, draw a line. It is hard to keep that rule in place, remain true to the standard, stay on the right side of the line. I don't mean that I can never change my mind. Sometimes I am wrong. Sometimes circumstances change. Sometimes they outgrow my rules. There are, however, rules and standards that don't change, shouldn't change. If my rules and standards become situational, they become void. They mean nothing.

And so, I have come to realize that parenting according to Godly standards means living according to Godly standards. There is no room for compromise. There are no days off. On October 18, 1995 I became a mother. I will be a mother every day for the rest of my life. I will be "on duty" full time every day until Banana leaves home to start her own home. This is hard stuff.