I happened to have time to watch a daytime/morning network program yesterday...one of those "little bit of everything" shows. The first segment involved an interview/chat with a "celebrity" aka someone who happened to become famous because she exchanged her real life for a fantasy life on a "reality" show (get the irony there?). The entire exchange was ridiculous, but toward the end, I heard her say something that I hear other women say quite often. Real women who have real lives. She was talking about her children and how marriage and children have changed her life, the "sacrifices" she has had to make. She said that she has started a web based business and that it has "given me adult interaction". In other words, having that business has, in her mind, validated her as a human.
That is the lie that Hollywood and the media and the "cultural elite" would have women believe. Being a wife is only important if it is beneficial socially. And being a mother, while possibly "fun", or "cute", or "exciting", is certainly not a worthwhile endeavor. Being a wife and a mother is ok for a side job, but not for a primary occupation. Women believe this. I hear it all the time. I see it lived out all the time. It is a lie, and it is responsible for many unhappy women, men and children; responsible for many unhappy marriages and families.
Moms, you are not just an essential part of society. You are probably the most essential part. You provide the sanctuary where the families who make up our culture can grow and flourish. You (hopefully with your husband) provide the moral, educational, and hopefully Biblical foundation for them. You are NOT "just a mom", and you do NOT need a paying career to validate yourself. More than that, the time invested in your children's life is precious and does not need to be supplemented with equal amounts of "adult time". I want to be careful here...I am not saying moms don't need friends or fellowship or social outlets. We absolutely do. We need to recharge and we need support. But the world would have you believe that if you are spending 75% or more of your time with your children, you are missing out and you are suffering. If you listen to that for long you will begin to believe it and you will begin to feel like you are suffering. Suddenly your time with your children becomes a drudgery and something you resent.
I want to point out that this post is not about whether or not a woman should have a career. There are many wonderful mothers who have careers, either by choice or by necessity. This is, rather, about the perception that motherhood in and of itself is not sufficiently worthwhile.
Perspective is important. Do you believe you are worthwhile as a mom? Do you believe the time, energy, and emotion you are investing is worthwhile? Do you see the end goal of healthy, spiritually and emotionally mature children (young adults)? Do you understand you are a vital link between this generation and the next? If you do, then you can invest wholeheartedly. Then you can take time away to socialize and recharge and return home with excitement and joy. And when those times away don't come as frequent as you might wish, remember that in a few short years you will have more time on your own than you ever imagined. Use this time wisely.
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (and, I would add, they are short) Ephesians 5:15-16
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