Conversations

Yesterday, this video made its way around Facebook. I posted it, as did a number of other people. It is the second half of a sermon on modesty. Essentially, the speaker is reading parts of letters from young men about their daily struggle with lust, and how they are affected my the immodest dress of girls/women. It was very eye opening and convicting.

I sat down with both my girls and we spent about 45 minutes, first listening to the entire sermon (including part 1 which is a different video), and then talking about it. I learned something very important. I can not assume anything as it pertains to my daughter's understanding of the world. Even though we have discussed it, even though they have heard it taught in several different environments, they still did not comprehend just how visual males are, or how that affects them.

Based on this video, as well as the testimony of others, including my husband, I described to them just what a young man (or any man) sees and thinks about when they see a girl dressed immodestly. I explained that when he sees a girl in a short skirt with her legs crossed, or in a low cut or strapless top, his focus is drawn (against his will, even) to her body. They were truly surprised. They really had no idea. In their words, "That's just creepy!" Yes it is.

I have to insert here that my girls are not allowed to wear that type of clothing, nor have they ever expressed such a desire. But, I felt it was important to impress on them the reality of this and to give them even more reason for dressing modestly, beyond it just being Godly and ladylike.

As we ended, I told them, "See, when I tell you that I think you need to change t-shirts because the one you have on is a little too thin, or a little too tight, or that your dress has become too short, it isn't because I don't want you to wear cute clothes. It's because I am protecting you." It was obvious by the look on their faces, by the understanding in their eyes, that they got it.

This was a wonderful experience for me. It was a sweet time with my girls, walking with them through yet another door to maturity. It was affirming for all of us. It wasn't awkward, or forced. They certainly didn't resent it. I say that to encourage other moms to have the same conversations. Don't assume they already know it. Don't think they don't want to talk to you. Don't let anyone else have the privilege. Worse yet, don't let them go through life without knowing truth.