kearsmom

Good Enough?

2012-02-07T11:09:00.000-06:00

I have a question for my sisters...believers, moms, wives, friends. Do you struggle with being "good enough"? Do you find yourself measuring your worth according to another person's standards? Surely I am not the only one. Don't we all let the words and actions of other people raise and lower our well-being thermostat? I'm not asking if we should...of course we shouldn't. But we do. I do. Don't you?

Why is that? Why are we so connected to the opinion of others? Why do we have that innate need for approval, need to be liked, need to be accepted? And why, when one person withdraws their approval or acceptance, does it rock our world? What are we looking for?

The "right" answer might be that we are trying to fill that "God shaped hole". But if we are believers, then hasn't that hole already been filled? I say yes. So what's with the need for approval? I don't think I have an answer. But I heard David Jeremiah say something last night that resonated with me. He was preaching on loneliness. He referenced the end of 2 Timothy, when Paul asked Timothy to "come quickly". Paul was lonely. Paul. The world's greatest missionary. The unstoppable, bold proclaimer of truth.The one who stood up against kings. He was lonely. Dr. Jeremiah said that his loneliness was not a sin. He said that many of us hide our loneliness, or our insecurity, behind a false smile and spout "church answers" to others. "Of course I am not lonely. God says He is always with me." "Of course I am secure, God is my security." "Of course I'm good enough. God says I am perfect and complete in Him." All of those things are true. I believe all of them. But I don't always feel them. I am pretty sure you don't either.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that it's ok to experience those feelings. But it's not ok to stay there. Whether it is seeking out prayer support, or burying yourself in the Word, or moving on and getting outside of yourself to serve others (yes, all three), there comes a point where we just have to believe what we know, cling to what God's Word tells us, and trust that we can live bold, powerful lives for the Lord. Because He is always with us. He is our security. We are perfect and complete in Him.

What say you?

A Godly View of Dating - Sermon Recommendation

2012-02-04T13:55:00.002-06:00

I had never heard of Paul Washer before a couple of weeks ago. I was "introduced" to him by a couple of friends via a Facebook conversation. Intrigued, I went to the Granted Ministries website . There, I found a sermon/series entitled A Godly View of Dating . Having already been convinced that Washer was someone I wanted to listen to, I figured this was a good place to start. After all, we have two teenaged girls. This has been a topic of discussion at our house for several years now. Not dating, per se, but our view of dating. I ordered the cds for just a little over $6 including shipping. A pretty good deal, I thought. My sweet, observant husband later informed me that I could have downloaded the mp3 version for free.

The girls and I have spent our time together in the car this week listening to this series of messages. As a result, I have to recommend that EVERY parent listen to them and every parent of teens listen to them with their teenagers. This is a powerful series. Paul Washer has what might be considered a radical view of dating...not so radical for us, but probably radical for many others. Even so, I urge any parent to take the time and listen. Listen from the perspective of taking something useful away, even if you don't swallow the whole thing. There is some valuable stuff in there. It will make you think, maybe rethink, your opinions and convictions. It will definitely challenge you.

The one issue he continually goes back to is the issue of Biblical Manhood. This was really timely in that our church is currently offering the Honor Begins at Home Bible Study based on the Courageous movie. We are participating in this study. My understanding is that the men discussed this very issue last week. I really think parents of boys, particularly fathers of boys, need to hear these messages. But they aren't just for boys/men. My girls were very impressed with his message, his thoughts on Godly womanhood, and-interestingly enough-his thoughts on Biblical Manhood. They told me that he put into words the thoughts they had about what kind of man they will look for some day.

He also has some pretty pointed things to say about the church and youth groups. I admit that I could have found myself offended, had I not recognized that the church we are involved in is not the norm. Sadly, churches that stand unapologetically on God's Word are fewer than one would like to think. Youth ministries that challenge students to grow deeper in God's Word are not as prevalent as those created for entertainment. Your church may also be "abnormal", so don't take offense at his assessment. I think he is correct that there are a lot of churches and youth ministries out there who are leading families astray. The church isn't perfect, but some are closer to God's plan than others. All that to say, listen with a heart that is open to being challenged.

If nothing else, I think these messages are valuable from the viewpoint of challenging the way we think about raising teenagers to become Godly adults. Some of us will be closer to his view than others, but if you are interested in seeing your boy become a Godly man, or your girl become a Godly woman, Paul Washer has some excellent thoughts on the matter.

Confessions of a Political Junkie

2012-01-18T12:45:00.002-06:00

Those who know me well know that I am a self-professed political junkie. It is a malady I acquired early in life. One of my earliest memories is of sitting on the floor in front of the television at my grandparents' house watching Nixon make that disgraceful walk from the White House to Marine One. I was fascinated. And I was hooked. I was also slightly obsessed...eighteen years later I wrote my last paper of graduate school on Mr. Nixon.

And so, I have eagerly entered this new political season. I confess that I listen to the pundits on Fox News, watch the debates, pay attention to the polls, and wait for primary results. It is, for me, similar to the way many of my friends experience football season. Happily, I have a daughter who shares my fascination and gives me someone to talk to!

But my enthusiasm is tempered by one very important fact. None of this really matters. In the grand scheme of things, in light of eternity, in the face of the Creator, none of this matters at all. Jesus could return at any moment and all of the world's systems will vanish in an instant. The most important things I can be involved in are those things that have eternal value...things that grow the kingdom of God. So why bother with politics?

Honestly, I have struggled with that question. As of now, the best answers I can come up with are these. First, I believe as a Christian citizen of this nation, I have a responsibility to participate in the political process both by praying and by voting. Romans 8 makes it clear that God is interested in the governmental affairs of our world and that we are to be concerned for our leaders. I have a responsibility to my family to do what I can to stand for the issues that will affect them and protect them.

What God has been teaching me lately is that I can (and should) do these things, but that they should not consume me. My trust is in the Lord, not my government. I am also learning the fine art of keeping my mouth shut. Few things make me want to spout off more than political "discussions". My instinct, when I see or hear something that goes against "my" views, is to jump in the fray. My flesh wants to engage in the debate and make my point. But God is teaching me the value of a quiet spirit and a controlled tongue. I can leave it to Him. Don't get me wrong, it is not easy. I have battled (and often lost) the rising blood pressure and the urge to "speak". I am a work in progress. I look forward to the next few months. I hope to get to November and beyond as one who is pleasing to my Lord and one who has been a light to those around me.

Now Is The Only Time

2012-01-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

I was reading in Matthew 9 this morning, and was struck at the intensity with which people approached Jesus. Reading through that passage, Jesus was approached constantly, one drastic need after the other. Everyone needing a great miracle from him. He was interrupted, even as he was on his way to raise a dead girl, to heal a woman. As someone who needs order and structure, as one who values solitude and quiet, I felt almost anxious as I read through those verses. How must Jesus have felt with those constant needs and interruptions? He always responded patiently. He never said or did anything to imply that he was bothered. Then it hit me. God exists outside of time. Jesus was never-is never-constrained by time. He had no agenda except this: to do the will of His Father. He never feels hurried. He never rushes. He is never late. And he only sees people and needs. Matthew says, "When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."I need to let go of my agenda and my schedule more often. I need to let go of my need for quiet. I certainly need more patience and compassion. I need to be more like Jesus.

Yes, Lord.

2012-01-12T11:59:00.000-06:00

I have been silent here for a while. I can't really say why. For a while, I thought I was just avoiding this blog, that maybe I didn't have anything worthwhile to share. But I realized in the last few days that God has been working on me, and while He has been doing that He needed me to be quiet.

Exciting things are happening though. Some have expressed surprise that we have agreed to allow Kat to participate in a mission trip to Latvia over Spring Break. Some are sure that we are doing it reluctantly, with anxiety. Nothing is further from the truth. Let me share why.

About four months ago, we were engaged in a conversation with Kat about school and her future options. To be honest, she was experiencing a good bit of anxiety over the future. We spent time explaining to her that there is no pressure on her to make decisions or plans at this point. We reminded her that God has her future in His hands and that He will reveal those plans to her when He is ready. Our instructions to her were to pray. Nothing else. And we committed to pray for her as well.

Beginning that night, my prayer for her was for God to give her a glimpse of His plan for her; not the whole picture, not a sweeping vista, just a glimpse. I prayed that prayer every day for about a month. In the meantime, I knew she was praying too. I knew Jimmy was praying. Sometimes we prayed that as a family, usually it was individually.

Then one day, late in October, Jimmy called me. He had been approached by a member of our staff (Kat's youth pastor). He was asked if we would prayerfully consider allowing Kat to participate in this mission trip. Coincidence? No, I don't think so. Someone asked me the other day (tongue in cheek, of course) "Are you telling me that you think there is a connection between your prayers and the events in your life?" Uh...yeah.

So, you see, this was a no-brainer. We pray for a month for God to reveal part of His will for our daughter's life, and He opens a door for her to go on mission with Him. Why would I be worried? Why would I be anxious? I would be worried or anxious to say "no". Frankly, I would be stupid to say "no". I am so excited to see what God is going to do in Kat's life over the next few months, and especially during the week she is in Latvia. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have prayed for her and to see those prayers answered in such a huge way. I am so thankful for the opportunity to say "Yes, Lord" and to see my children do the same.

The Battle for Their Hearts

2011-09-27T12:14:00.000-05:00

Wow...it has been few weeks since I was here. Not because I haven't had a lot to think about, or because I haven't had anything to say. Certainly not because God hasn't been teaching me anything. To the contrary, He has been teaching me great things...I just haven't had the time to sit down and put any of it in words.

Recently, I read another book by Ken Ham and Britt Beemer.

In their book, they detail their research findings as to why young adults are leaving the church after high school and college. In a nutshell, they conclude that somewhere along the path from middle school to high school, kids begin to doubt the authority of Scripture. These doubts are reinforced in many systems of education, and often churches and parents do nothing to counter this. If children and teens are not taught to understand and defend Scripture as historical and spiritual truth, they are much more likely to leave their faith and their church.

At the same time I was reading this book, I began a study of Romans. It seems that God came to the same conclusion a couple of thousand years ago (note: sarcasm intended). I definitely recommend Already Gone, but the findings are not new at all.

The second half of the first chapter of Romans contains some of the saddest verses in the Bible.

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. Romans 1:21-23

They knew God. These people were "in church". They had heard the Word. They knew what it said. But their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Why? Because they exchanged the truth of God for a lie!

Here is the pattern Paul outlines...the same pattern that exists today:

1. They knew God - they were "involved" in church to some extent.

2. They did not glorify Him or give thanks - there was no real life change, no relationship with Christ (church involvement was surface, probably social in nature)

3. Their thinking became futile - they began to focus on worldly philosophies and ideas

4. Their hearts became darkened - their affections turned from God to the world

5. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie... - They "bought into" the worldly philosophies...they believed the scientists, the philosophers, the media...

6. ...and served the created things rather than the Creator - They became enslaved to worldly things (enslaved to their houses, schools, clubs, neighbors, jobs...)

7. Therefore GOD GAVE THEM UP - God will not force us to stay where we do not want to be. He will let us go.

The battle is won or lost between steps 1 and 2. If our children do not move from knowing about God to knowing God they will follow steps 3-7. Our job as parents (NOT the church's job) is to do everything we can to make sure our children understand what it means to move from step 1 to step 2. We cannot make that move for them, but neither can we expect them to make it without any help. It is not the pastor's job. It is not their small group leader's job. It is not the children's minister or youth minister's job. It is OUR job. And if our life doesn't reflect this, then our credibility is blown. Many parents fail to help their children move from 1 to 2 because they themselves have never moved. In the words of my pastor, we have to "examine our lives". What kind of example are we setting? Do we live lives that glorify God and give Him thanks? What do our children see in us that would make them want to do the same?

Promises

2011-09-09T14:09:00.003-05:00

I am reminded of seasons again today. The weather this week, following the visit of Tropical Storm Lee, has been absolutely beautiful. Despite my dislike for this time of year in many aspects, I do love fall. I love the cool weather and the colors and the beautiful blue sky and the way the sunlight looks through the trees. My issue isn't with the season, but with the reminders of the passage of time. This is a more recent development, as my girls have gotten older.

But today, I'm reminded of God's blessings in all our seasons. For every change, he gives a blessing. For every moment that passes, he gives something new. The beauty of this day reminds me of that...However much I may miss carefree, summer days (ok, so jam-packed busy traveling summer days is more like it, but you know what I mean) I love the gentle beauty of an early fall day. And I love the warmth and coziness of the Christmas season. For that matter, I love long, cold, winter days when I can hibernate with my family. On those days, the memory of last summer brings a smile and with it anticipation and the knowledge that summer will come again.

As a mom, I am thankful to know our seasons change in the same ways. Today, I am reminded that the memories of yesterdays will always bring a smile, but they also promise tomorrows. "Summer" will return. It will be different, filled with new memories, but they will also bring smiles. I can enjoy the beauty of today because in it God promises his constant presence in an inconstant world. His mercies are new every day.

More on Truth

2011-09-01T10:42:00.003-05:00

I am obviously not paying attention to myself, because when I sat down to type this, my goal was to write a post on Truth. Turns out I did that the other day. Apparently, God is still teaching me on this subject, because Truth is still on my heart and mind. I have been thinking about the truth of who God is, the truth of what Jesus did, the truth of who I am in Christ. And I am wondering if I am doing an adequate job of passing along those Truths to my children.

I wrote last week that I often struggle with "worldly knowledge" as it pertains to educating my children. Yesterday, I was reading in Ephesians 6 about Armor of God.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm." Eph. 6:10-13.

One explanation I read on these "schemes of the devil" suggested that the "authorities" (or "powers", as some translations read) doesn't refer to spiritual beings, but to our own authority or power...in other words, it refers to the "rights" we have in ourselves to govern and control ourselves. That explanation really made sense to me. One of our greatest struggles is against our selves...against what we think is "right", what we want. In Christ, those things are counted as lost. As my pastor says, "Dead men (and women) don't have rights."

When I struggle with what the world says I should do in regard to teaching my children, much of that struggle is really against myself. Will I listen to the "experts" or will I listen to God? Do I know what is "right" for my children? No. If I am completely honest, and completely submitted to God, I do not. He knows what is best for them. I have to walk in that Truth every day.

I have to go back, every day, to what I KNOW He has called me to do. It's that same passage I keep going back to.

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

That is what I am commanded to do first and foremost. Everything else falls within these parameters. I realize that many people will read this and think I am neglecting many things. But I say that all of those "things" will fit into these parameters if I keep his commands first. In other words, when I begin to worry, or struggle, or (wost of all) panic, I have to go back to this command. Do the best things first. Every time I do this, He points me back to what I need to do. His ways are mysterious. I don't think I can accurately explain all this means. But I can say with certainty that it has worked every time. And so I continue to do it.

The Right Truth

2011-08-26T13:29:00.002-05:00

"Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge..." 1 Timothy 6:20

I was reading this morning on topic of stewardship, and came across this verse. My mind went immediately to the stewardship of my children, entrusted to Jimmy and me by God. My service to God, in whatever he has given me to do-including parenting-involves guarding and protecting what is already His. Not only that, but I need to give them back to Him better than they were when they were given to me. In the parable of the talents, the careless steward was chastised because he did nothing with what was given to him. He didn't improve upon it, didn't put it to use, didn't make it better.

My job as a parent is to guard the spiritual condition of the children who have been put into my care. I can only do this by listening to Truth and using that Truth as a guide and a measure. Nothing else in the world can replace that Truth. But everything in the world tries to replace it. "Godless chatter" and "opposing ideas" that falsely disguise themselves as "knowledge" attempt to replace Truth in every aspect of our lives. And it is very easy to fall victim to their attempts.

We look to countless resources to make us better parents. Who doesn't remember that fat yellow "What to Expect" book? I know I was glued to that book for at least three years. But what else do we listen to? Everyone has suggestions to make us better parents, to make our kids better kids. A couple of weeks ago I saw a Back-to-School commercial that suggested the best thing a mom could do for her kids was to make sure they went back to school "in style"...forget teachers and grades! "Experts" tell us to make sure our kids "feel good" about themselves and their lives...translation, make them happy. Other "experts" tell us to make sure their grades and test scores and transcripts are capable of gaining them admittance to the most prestigious schools with the best scholarships.

At least twice a year, I fall victim to that last bit of "knowledge". I allow someone's expertise in the area of education to freak me out and cause me to panic. Am I teaching all the right subjects? Have I missed something? Am I accurately preparing my girls? Then the rock that is my husband gently points me back to the right place. Back to the Truth.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-8. That's it. That's the command. That's the Truth. Everything else is secondary. We are not bringing our children up for the pleasure or praise of man. We are bringing them up to bring glory to God. If we do that right, everything else will be good.

Basic Training

2011-08-19T10:44:00.003-05:00

In the past year, I have had two friends send their sons off to basic training in a branch of the US Military. During those weeks, communication between those in training and their loved ones was minimal at best. Those young men and women in training were kept in "isolation" from the rest of the world, with only one focus: to train to be the best at their job. In the end, they were supposed to come out of training looking like a soldier or an airman. If they came out looking like anything else, it would have been considered a failure.

Why were they isolated? They were isolated so that they would not be distracted from the goal. Their complete attention and focus was demanded. Anything less would leave them looking like less than what they trained to become. They were surrounded by others with the same focus and the same goal. They were taught by those who had already been through the same training.

I can't help but make the connection here to discipleship and our children. No, I am not suggesting that we "isolate" our children by locking them up in the house and not letting them out until they are 21. But I am suggesting that there is something to be learned here.

Over and over in the last several months, I have been taken back to the concept of "separateness" in the Word of God; by my pastors, by my own study, by blogs and articles and books. I am pretty sure God has been trying to teach me something, or at least reinforce something he has already taught me. Consider the following verses:

"But that is not the way you learned Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:20-24 ESV).

We have been taught differently. As Christians we ARE different. We are renewed and made over to look like Him.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV)

As disciples we are to imitate Him. To imitate him we have to know him intimately (Philippians 3:10), follow him (John 8:12) and listen to him (John 10:27).

Paul goes on in Ephesians to tell us more about how we are to become imitators of God.

"Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them." (Ephesians 5:11 ESV).

The NIV says "Have nothing to do..." We are to have NO part in darkness. No association with it at all. Our life, lived in imitation of God's sacrificial love, is to be marked by purity and holiness. God's directive regarding impurity, immorality, and greed is simple-do not be partners with them. (Ephesians 5:7)

What does that look like at home? How do we train our children to imitate Christ? I think it is obvious from these verses that we start by helping them understand that they are to look different. No, I don't mean they dress weird, or that girls don't wear make-up, or that boys wear long sleeved white shirts. I mean that they live differently, they talk differently, they act differently. I mean that they don't go to the same places, watch the same movies, listen to the same music. They don't "look" like the world. They "look" like Christ.

Parents, don't let them believe that they can do the things their "friends" do and still look different, still be separate. It is not possible. No one at that party is thinking about the fact that your child isn't drinking. They aren't thinking about the fact that he isn't cursing. They are only recognizing that he (or she!) is there, with them. Therefore, in their minds, your child is like them. Furthermore, while no one at that party is thinking about your child not drinking or cursing (or whatever), I can guarantee that your child IS thinking about those things. And he or she is feeling different, and is likely to be tempted to be like everyone else.

This is hard stuff. These are hard times. These days call for hard parenting. The rules have changed in the last 20 years. Things that were "darkness" were done in darkness 20 years ago. Those things are done in the light of day today. Are you going to be a popular parent? Will your kids be thrilled with your standards? Maybe not. But we do not answer to other parents and we do not answer to our children. We answer to God. We have been charged with the ultimate discipleship task. At the end of the day, we are responsible to God for our child. We have so short a time..."make the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:16)

Aiming for Perfection

2011-08-08T13:52:00.004-05:00

I just love how God's Word speaks truth into my life. I love that "aha moment" when something just jumps off the pages. I love that when I ask him to teach me something new, he does.

I was reading this morning in Ephesians and I came to this verse: "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:3

Make EVERY effort...that sounded pretty emphatic. Paul was serious about that, as my husband would say. So I began looking at other verses on unity. Using my big black Thompson Chain Reference, I started looking at verses on the exhortation to unity. I found the following:

"I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought." 1 Corinthians 1:10

Wow...that one jumped out even more than the first. "ALL of you should AGREE with one another in what you say and do...NO divisions...PERFECTLY UNITED in mind and thought." Paul leaves absolutely no wiggle room in that one! This verse completely takes away the argument that says we don't have to agree on every little thing when it comes to spiritual matters. There goes the whole "agree to disagree" idea.

Paul wasn't done..."Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." 2 Corinthians 13:11

Aim for PERFECTION. Wow...this gets harder and harder. Close enough doesn't cut it. Sometimes, sort-of, almost...nope. Perfection. 100 percent, completely, all the time. Good enough is not good enough when it comes to holiness.

The next one is one of my favorite verses: "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel..." Philippians 1:27

Whatever happens. No matter what. No excuses. Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy. The Church is to be united. The body is to be unified. Always, completely, perfectly.

I have been convicted in the last year or two that "comfortable, convenient Christianity" is not Christianity at all. Being a Christ follower requires everything. Salvation is simple, it is free; But living for Christ is hard work, and it is costly. It costs me my rights, my opinions, my wants, my preferences. Am I there yet? Absolutely not, I'm not even close. But I desire to be there. This is one of those areas God has shown me that I am going to have to let him work on...believers are commanded to do more than just "get along". He calls us to be united, aiming for perfection, and living in harmony as one body.

Higher Expectations

2011-07-29T11:42:00.003-05:00

Last week I had the privilege of participating in one of my favorite events of the year. I spent the week on mission with an awesome group of 7th and 8th grade students. This yearly event is traditionally a local mission trip. This one was the best ever for a number of reasons.

We served at a couple of local ministries, spent some time visiting some of our own senior adult church members, and serving at a church around the corner from our own, helping with their VBS. From beginning to end, I watched 12-14 year old kids act like mature believers and serve with their whole heart. It was, in part, a testimony to the ministries of our church...our kids are indeed well trained from a young age to serve the Lord and their community. It was also a testimony to their parents who have undoubtedly brought them up to love and serve the Lord.

I watched young men and women talk with and pray with homeless men and women, help them "shop" for clothes, search Scripture with them. I watched them kneel at the side of mentally challenged adults and help them with a craft or a puzzle or a song. I listened to them pray over an elderly, widowed church member. And I saw them lead children and preschoolers in crafts, music, and games at VBS. It was a whirlwind and it was a blessing.

Generally, when I plan this yearly trip, I make an effort to build in "down time". In the past, we have had our evenings completely free, and we have had long lunch breaks. This year, because of the variety of activities scheduled, our "down time" was essentially non-existent. Yet I never heard a word of complaint. Our kids never slacked off. They gave 100% early in the morning as they ministered at an inner-city mission, and they gave 100% as they sang VBS songs with young children in the evening. I was struck that most adults, myself included, can't say the same for ourselves. How many times do I complain of being tired, hot, worn out? How many times do I give less than my best to the Lord?

I came away with the revelation that we often set the bar way too low for our kids. We expect them to need "down time". We don't expect them to excel spiritually. We classify ministry as "adult" ministry vs. "kid" ministry. I saw last week that our youngest youth are capable of so much more...so much more than many adults. I left the week challenging their parents to raise their expectations for their kids...and to join their kids in ministry. I challenge you to do the same.

"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel..." Philippians 1:27

In All Our Ways

2011-07-14T14:08:00.002-05:00

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB)

These verses are, no doubt, as familiar to you as they are to me. I memorized them as a child, claimed them as a teenager, taught them to my children. I sometimes even refer to them as "default verses"...those verses someone will quickly quote when asked their favorite verse. They are easy to remember, and easy to relate to. Follow God, believe him, and he will take care of you.

This week, as he is so faithful and loving to do, God taught me something brand new in these verses. He showed me that these verses, like everything else in his Word, are even more personal than I had imagined.

My firstborn will begin her junior year in high school in a few weeks. It is a weird time. How can I be old enough to have a child that old? What happened to my baby girl? I wonder if I feel it even more acutely because I homeschool. I have had her with me for everything her whole life. Can our schooling journey really be coming to an end? And she is feeling some of those same things. More and more, people are asking her those questions that everyone asks kids as high school draws to an end. "Where are you going to college?" "What are you going to major in?" "What are you going to do?"

These questions are really beginning to frustrate her. The other day she said, "Mom, I'm 15! How in the world am I supposed to know what I want to do?" She was right. But that's where these verses come in. God reminded me that he is intimately interested in ALL her ways. He is interested in ALL our ways. And his only desire is for her (and me, and you) to trust him, to depend on him, to seek him and follow him. He will direct the rest. It is a day by day trusting. There is nothing wrong with making plans and nothing wrong with preparing for the future. In fact, we should be prepared. But we should be prepared spiritually, and we should be prepared for WHATEVER he calls us to, not just for what we think we might do. And as we follow him day by day, step by step, he will reveal those plans as he is ready, as we need to know.

Ballet Lessons

2011-07-08T15:57:00.003-05:00

The last two weeks at our house have pretty much revolved around my youngest's ballet schedule. She is involved in Summer Intensive Workshop, an all day, every day, serious ballet schedule. It's our first experience with this and we had a pretty big learning curve, with a few bumps along the way. Yesterday was bumpy.

Upon registration, we received a link to a 15 page document with instructions, information, dress codes, packing lists...you get the picture. Rather than print it and have to keep up with 15 pages of paper, I did what any tech-savvy mom would do. I saved it to my computer, and I saved it to my iPad. With the iPad, the document was easy to carry with me anywhere. Being the somewhat compulsive person that I am, I read those pages front to back several times, checking and rechecking to be sure I was completely familiar with what we needed to do. My dancer also read over the instructions and checklists, using it as her shopping and packing guide. We had this thing under control.

But something just never added up. I read somewhere, and I heard somewhere, about a "dress code" for the final night of the workshop-a Gala in which all the dancers will perform. I re-checked my 15 page document, but didn't see any such dress code. "Well," I thought, "I guess they will give her that information later." I emailed the school office a few weeks ago to ask if there was a particular style leotard needed for classes, and was told, "No, the only dress code we have is for the Gala." Hmm...again, something didn't seem right, but I didn't know what it was.

Yesterday, I figured it out. I got a call early in the morning. "Mom! I have to have a long sleeve black leotard for tomorrow night!" What?? How did this happen?? I immediately went to my info. Nothing there about a long sleeve leotard! I started calling other moms. Most of them were aware of the long sleeve leotard clause. Was this a conspiracy? Was I loosing my mind? I called my favorite dance supply store. My favorite clerk told me that we should have known about this months ago. Seriously? How did this happen?

In desperation, I even took my iPad to the store with me so the clerk (who should know these things) could look at my copy of the list. She confirmed it. No dress code listed. She even showed me where it should have been. But the page was blank. Weird. So, I bought the necessary leotard and, despite some confusion and anxiety, we were good to go. But I wasn't satisfied. I needed to know how this happened.

A comment from another mom, and a suggestion from my daughter started some bells ringing in my head. I went to my desktop computer, not my iPad, and I pulled up the infamous document. As I began scrolling through it, something amazing appeared. Throughout the document were previously invisible blue boxes with text in them. One of those boxes contained the all-important dress code information. It was RIGHT THERE! There were also other text boxes with less-important, but still pertinent information. Suddenly lots of previously confusing issues made sense! Apparently, my iPad (as wonderful as it is) does not read some documents completely. Nice thing to know...

As I reflected on all of this today, I suddenly realized that there is a spiritual lesson in this crazy story. So much of life is like that document. We think we have things under control, but something is always missing. Some things just don't make sense, UNTIL we learn that we have to view things through the filter of the Holy Spirit. When we do that, suddenly things that never made sense before become perfectly clear! Those missing parts are suddenly visible when we look at things through Christ's eyes. When we ask him to open the eyes of our hearts, confusion becomes understanding.

So, I learned two important lessons this week. Always double check anything on my iPad against a more reliable document reader. And always ask the Holy Spirit to open my spiritual eyes to the world around me!

Don't Believe That Lie

2011-06-29T16:51:00.004-05:00

I happened to have time to watch a daytime/morning network program yesterday...one of those "little bit of everything" shows. The first segment involved an interview/chat with a "celebrity" aka someone who happened to become famous because she exchanged her real life for a fantasy life on a "reality" show (get the irony there?). The entire exchange was ridiculous, but toward the end, I heard her say something that I hear other women say quite often. Real women who have real lives. She was talking about her children and how marriage and children have changed her life, the "sacrifices" she has had to make. She said that she has started a web based business and that it has "given me adult interaction". In other words, having that business has, in her mind, validated her as a human.

That is the lie that Hollywood and the media and the "cultural elite" would have women believe. Being a wife is only important if it is beneficial socially. And being a mother, while possibly "fun", or "cute", or "exciting", is certainly not a worthwhile endeavor. Being a wife and a mother is ok for a side job, but not for a primary occupation. Women believe this. I hear it all the time. I see it lived out all the time. It is a lie, and it is responsible for many unhappy women, men and children; responsible for many unhappy marriages and families.

Moms, you are not just an essential part of society. You are probably the most essential part. You provide the sanctuary where the families who make up our culture can grow and flourish. You (hopefully with your husband) provide the moral, educational, and hopefully Biblical foundation for them. You are NOT "just a mom", and you do NOT need a paying career to validate yourself. More than that, the time invested in your children's life is precious and does not need to be supplemented with equal amounts of "adult time". I want to be careful here...I am not saying moms don't need friends or fellowship or social outlets. We absolutely do. We need to recharge and we need support. But the world would have you believe that if you are spending 75% or more of your time with your children, you are missing out and you are suffering. If you listen to that for long you will begin to believe it and you will begin to feel like you are suffering. Suddenly your time with your children becomes a drudgery and something you resent.

I want to point out that this post is not about whether or not a woman should have a career. There are many wonderful mothers who have careers, either by choice or by necessity. This is, rather, about the perception that motherhood in and of itself is not sufficiently worthwhile.

Perspective is important. Do you believe you are worthwhile as a mom? Do you believe the time, energy, and emotion you are investing is worthwhile? Do you see the end goal of healthy, spiritually and emotionally mature children (young adults)? Do you understand you are a vital link between this generation and the next? If you do, then you can invest wholeheartedly. Then you can take time away to socialize and recharge and return home with excitement and joy. And when those times away don't come as frequent as you might wish, remember that in a few short years you will have more time on your own than you ever imagined. Use this time wisely.

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (and, I would add, they are short) Ephesians 5:15-16

Leave of Absence

2011-06-24T16:37:00.005-05:00

I am sure you have all noticed my absence and missed me terribly. No? Oh well, that's ok! The truth is, it's June. In church life that means I am either at VBS or Student Camp (already been) or getting ready to send a teenager to be a counselor at Children's camp (check), or recoving from all any and all of the above. Add to that Ballet Intensive starting this weekend and a husband who has been out of town for two straight weeks, and you have a mom with no time to blog.

That doesn't mean that God hasn't shown me some really great things lately. I am becoming more and more aware of his voice whispering to me throughout my day. It isn't that His voice hasn't always been there, but my ears aren't always tuned in. It's amazing what slowing down just a little and taking time to be still will do for you. Honestly, I haven't had much slowing down time. But the more time I spend with Him, the more tuned the ears of my heart are so that He can whisper to me as I go through my day.

Today, for instance, I was making a quick run to the store. More specifically, BACK to the store for that one thing I always forget and can't live without. I was in a hurry and absentmindedly listening to the radio when a song came on that I have never heard before. It's not a new song, and I can't imagine why I have never heard it. But God was saving it for me for today. Here is Steven Curtis Chapman, singing Do Everything.

I hope it blesses you the way it blessed me today. Mom's EVERYTHING we do is worth doing and is worth doing to His Glory.

The Umbrella

2011-06-10T16:41:00.003-05:00

This week has been VBS Unplugged week at our church. The "Unplugged" is something our church started a couple of y ears ago-taking VBS and the message of God's love to the neighborhoods and communities around our church, instead of waiting for them to come to us.

My "site", the community that I was assigned to be leader over, is actually a neighborhood in a nearby town. I was actually working with a mission church of our own church, and so I was partnering with that church's pastor.

Tuesday afternoon, storm clouds began rolling in and phones began ringing with the question, "Will VBS go on?" VBS, as we do it, takes place outside, and many of our sites have no "inside" option. My site was one of those with no rain plan. We went right up to the last minute hoping for the best. But as we pulled into town, it was obvious that the weather was not going to cooperate. All my phone calls and text messages and prayers aside, it was going to storm.

I can't tell you what a relief it was, as we pulled into the parking lot of our site, to see the church pastor (my co-leader) standing with all of our workers, obviously informing them that we were going to have to cancel for the night. I really did not want to have to make that decision. What freedom for me to be out from under that responsibility. It was, after all, his community. This is the area his church is ministering to. It was his call to make.

What does my story have to do with parenting? This is how God has designed the family. There is a chain of authority he has established-an umbrella of protection he has placed over us. That umbrella is so freeing when it is exercised with Godly leadership. We can operate freely under that umbrella. Our children can live safely under that umbrella. It isn't a burden, but a blessing. When families live under God's authority, when wives function under their husband's authority and when children live under their parent's authority, the family functions as it was intended. The storms of life will come. But God's umbrella of authority protects us from decisions and choices that aren't ours to make. Submission and obedience aren't meant to weigh us down, they are meant to make our lives easier. And they provide a Godly example for our children to follow. From parents submitting to God to children obeying parents, and everywhere in between, we are to live out God's plan for our lives and for our family. And as we do, we flourish.

The Quest: A Public Service Announcement

2011-06-02T13:36:00.008-05:00

My girls and I found ourselves with some free time yesterday afternoon, and as we were already out, they decided it would be a good time to go on The Quest. You know...The Quest for this year's pool apparel. Anyone who has pre-teen or teen girls, and who actually cares what their girls wear outside of their bedroom, understands how incredibly difficult The Quest can be. Slightly less fun than getting your teeth cleaned.

Now, I have to say, I am blessed. I have never had to engage in debate with either of them over what is appropriate, and what is not. They understand the parameters clearly. As they demonstrated yesterday, they have made those standards their own.

We visited six stores. I did little to no work. I followed them through store after store, through display after display, while they sorted through the few "acceptable" options, eventually finding almost all of them unacceptable. I gave little direction. Occasionally I would point one or another choice out, each time to be turned down. It got old fast. I was ready to be done, but they were on a Quest and determined to find something. I began to realize at some point that they had a plan, a vision, and they just needed to fulfill it. So I followed along, and drove from store to store.

It was in the last store that the Quest reached it's end and the vision was fulfilled. Tim Hawkins has a comedy set that refers to finding what you are looking for in the last place you look. It always applies. In the last store, both girls went through the usual browsing, showing little interest in what was available, and were clearly disinterested in the options. Eventually, both made their way to another part of the store.

This is the public service announcement portion of this post. I want to offer the following suggestion to you moms with girls who would like something a little different this year. I would have never thought of this on my own. I thought it was pretty brilliant of them to come up with this.

They went from this area of the store:

To this one:

And what they ended up with was something like this:

The fabric is water resistant, basically the same stuff the swimwear is made of. The top is longer than a swimsuit top, so it sits over their hips instead of edging up and showing belly. It is also snugly fitted so it won't flow up with the water. I suppose you (or your girl) could wear regular swim bottoms with the top if the color matched, but my girls have taken to preferring shorts anyway. Either way, you are going to want bottoms under the shorts, but you probably already have a drawer full. Also, depending on her age, size, etc. you are probably going to need "something" under the top, but the makers of these tanks make coordinating "sports bras". And the cost of the whole outfit? At JC Penny, where everthing is 40% off right now, $51 and some change.

Bingo! This has been your public service announcement for the summer. Happy swimming!

Who's Your Idol?

2011-05-26T21:33:00.002-05:00

This week was the big week...or at least that's what Facebook tells me. Apparently the newest American Idol was crowned this week. Our household might be the only household in the nation who didn't watch. Confession: I have watched exactly one season of American Idol. It was a few years ago. We watched to find out what all the fuss was about.

So, the AI news, along with a question posed by a Facebook friend has gotten me thinking. Her question was, essentially: do "we" (being FB world) think that media (television, movies, etc.) is basically positive or negative, and why?

Who are America's "idols"? Why? In the last few years, we have seen the demise, literally and/or figuratively, of dozens of young "stars". Actually, it is a trend that goes back decades. What happens? Does fame and fortune corrupt? Is it the environment? The expectations? Yes, I think, to all of those and more. But this isn't a post about the downfall of any "star". It is more about our response to them, and the effect on our kids.

I would challenge anyone to name 10 big name "stars" from the last 10-15 years who is stable, much less a positive role model. Even in the last 5 years. In 2006 all of our kids, at least all of our girls, were glued to High School Musical. They could sing every word and dance every dance. They were in love with Troy and wanted to be Gabrielle. Since their HSM days, Troy and Vanessa have been photographed in all sorts of compromising situations. Not exactly the wholesome pair of our kids' imaginations. And what about the great Hannah Montana? From clean, even "Christian" Miley to the striptease who is estranged from her dad...what happened? And really, is anyone surprised?

I wouldn't go so far as to ban all tv and media (although I haven't been beyond threatening from time to time), but we need to take a serious look at what we, and our kids, are watching. More importantly, we need to measure how much stock we put into it. We enjoy tv and movies in our house (not at all to the extent some others do...we are more Braves Baseball and Food Network watchers, and have never seen a single episode of Survivor). But we watch with the certain understanding that these people are just people. Often they are people with issues and problems. The world they portray is make-believe. The lives they live, sadly, are often make-believe.

And more often than not, it's just not worth watching.

Be Holy

2011-05-23T18:02:00.002-05:00

I had a conversation with 3 seventh grade girls the other day, and I asked them this question: "Is it possible for us to be holy?" I was met, initially, with blank stares, followed by hesitant head shaking. Their answer, at last, was "No." So I led them to the following verse:

For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:16

Then I asked, "Would God tell us to do something that wasn't possible for us to do?"

My young friends are not any different than any of us. Most of us would probably have the same uncertain answer to the question of being holy. God is holy. We aren't God, so how in the world can we be holy?

I actually learned the answer to this question many years ago from my great friend and teacher, Randy. Recently, I had the privilege of being in a class with him again in which we studied this topic in depth. I felt it was important to pass this understanding on to my young friends. I don't want them to go through the next 20 or 30 years not understanding that they can live holy lives. If they don't realize that holiness is attainable, they won't strive for it. Our children need to know that if they are believers, "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" 2 Peter 1:3.

So often, too often, our teenagers graduate and go off to college and leave behind all the spiritual teaching they have received over the years. There are many reasons for this. But the underlying reason is that they don't "own" their faith. They don't really understand what they believe or if they really believe it. Many kids, to use Lee Strobel's words, "graduate from church". Off at college, off on their own without mom and dad waking them up on Sunday morning, they fall out of the habit-because a habit is all it ever was. It is our high calling and responsibility as parents to see that our children understand what they believe and why.

I have heard the phrase "passing on our faith to our children" over the years. I would like to suggest a better idea. What if we help our children grow their own faith. After all, my children can't find eternal life in my faith.

Does It Really Matter?

2011-05-16T14:51:00.004-05:00

I mentioned in my last post that I am reading Already Compromised. Ken Ham and Greg Hall outline how Christian colleges, universities, and even seminaries are compromising truth in the Christian academic world. In particular, many of these schools are either unclear, or in actual denial about the literal interpretation of God's Word, particularly Genesis.

I grew up in a Christian family. I grew up in church. I became a Christian when I was 8 years old...I didn't just pray a prayer, I KNEW that Jesus was my Savior and that the Holy Spirit lived in me. I was active in my youth group. I went to a "Christian university" and I majored in Christianity. But until I was a married adult, I was never discipled. I knew what I believed, most of the time. I knew lots of information. But I had little understanding of why I believed it. And I fell victim to a lot of misinformation.

As a freshman, sitting in my first Old Testament survey class, I had a professor whom I liked and respected say something like this: "As long as we believe that Jesus lived and died and rose again, it doesn't really matter if the miracles of the Old Testament were real." I don't remember her exact words, but that was the gist of it. I remember sitting there, knowing that this woman was highly educated and respected, and I thought, "Um...well...ok." I don't believe I ever bought into her theory, but I certainly wasn't put off by it, or offended. And I do remembering wondering about the Old Testament. Did all that stuff really happen? Did it matter?

Looking back, I know two things. One, it is a miracle I finished college (and graduate school) with my faith intact. I credit some of that to a friend who consistently spoke truth into my life, some of it to the church I attended for part of my college career, and much of it to the work of the Holy Spirit. And two, YES. It absolutely matters! Every word of Scripture is true, and what we believe about that fact determines how we live our lives and how we train our children.

The Word of God is either completely true, or not true at all. There is no in between. This doesn't require "blind" or mindless faith. There are plenty of academic resources available to confirm a Biblical view of science and history. But to understand this, and to pass it on to our children, requires work on our part. Even in the most well meaning, proactive, Biblically sound churches, our children are not going to get a firm grasp on these concepts. Not because it isn't taught, but because it takes constant, consistent teaching and reteaching. It is a Deuteronomy 6, as you go along the way, kind of teaching.

The bottom line, though, is that our children know what we believe, what they believe, and why. They have to understand why God's Word-ALL of God's Word-is true. If they are taught that any part of it is not true, then they will question it all. If there was no Garden, then was there a stable? If there was no flood, then was there a resurrection? How do you choose what part is true and what part is not true. And really, isn't it easier to believe that the earth was covered by a flood (look at today's news) than to believe that a man rose from the grave after being dead for 3 days?

2 Peter 1:20-25 (New International Version)

20 Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. 21 For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (New International Version)

16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Psalm 119:160 (New International Version)

160 All your words are true;
all your righteous laws are eternal.

Compromised

2011-05-12T13:30:00.000-05:00

Poorly behaved kids.

The teaching of evolution, but not creation, in schools.

Immodestly dressed girls.

Increasingly anti-Christian policies in government.

What, you ask, do these things have in common? They are all evidence of a society that has compromised on it's values. I am currently reading Already Compromised, by Ken Ham and Greg Hall, and so the word compromised is on my mind. This book outlines the results of a survey of 200 Christian colleges and universities and their administrators and professors. Their results show that many of our Christian institutions are not teaching what we think they are teaching. They are compromising on God's word in favor of secular teaching.

As I am reading, I am also thinking about other areas of life that fall into this category. The problem, in schools, homes, churches and government houses is that we, as a society, have compromised. Tired moms and dads have said, "Ok" to things they don't really approve of, parents have given in to school systems who want to teach lessons contrary to God's word. Churches have shied away from "hard teaching" for fear of offending someone. Citizens have given up their responsibility to be involved in their communities, states and nation, because they are too busy or just aren't interested. It is all related.

One of the reasons? We are too polite. We are too nice. We don't want to rock the boat. We want to be our kids' friends, not their parents. We want the teachers and principles to like us and our kids. We want our kids to make the team or the grade. We don't want to offend our neighbor, or even strangers. We don't want to work too hard, think too hard, go to any trouble.

Read Ephesians 6: 10-17

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

We are in a battle that encompasses every area of our life. If we don't stand firm for God's truth, we are going to find ourselves in a world where truth is no longer welcome. We are moving there quickly, but we have time to stop that progress. My prayer is that we will raise up a generation that loves the Lord, knows what they believe, and are not afraid to stand for it.

Politics? Yes.

2011-05-09T14:46:00.005-05:00

Last week's news about the killing of Usama bin Laden sparked a great deal of discussion and controversy, even among Christians. How do we deal with that kind of news when it comes to our kids? What about other news? Are politics and current events something we should discuss at home? Of course they are!

Now, I will admit, I am a political news junkie. I am "blessed" to have at least one daughter who shares my "passion", and so it is easy for the two of us to have these conversations. But my "less interested" daughter isn't off the hook. Why? Because I believe it is imperative that they have a grasp of what is going on in the world, how it fits into our belief structure, and what they can or should do about it. Otherwise, they are going to get that information somewhere else. My kids don't attend public or private school, but for those who do, they ARE going to hear this stuff. Much of it they are going to hear from their teachers. A good bit of it they are going to hear from their friends. They are going to read it online, hear it on the radio and on tv. Who do we want to help them form their ideas and beliefs?

I believe that it is vitally important for our children to understand our Biblical worldview and how it affects every aspect of our world. My husband and I had the opportunity last fall to participate in The Truth Project at our church. I would recommend this to any older teen and adult. Another great worldview source is Summit Ministries. I have been well acquainted with both of these organizations for years, and can attest that they are doctrinally sound. For parents with young children, educate yourself so that you can have appropriate conversations with your children.

Our conversations are some of my favorite times. Not every family may enjoy watching presidential debates or news conferences together. Two of us enjoy it more than the other two. But I really believe those kinds of things are important. How else are our kids going to know how to respond when a friend or a teacher challenges them? When they are confronted by a point of view that differs from ours, they need to know how to engage in the conversation, and feel secure in their understanding of events.

The Attitude of Christ

2011-05-04T21:41:00.003-05:00

This is not the post I was going to write tonight. I was going to write about why it is important to talk to our kids about what is going on in the world and in our country. I will get to that later. This post, while born out of that thought, is different.

There has been a unique, and sad, result of the events of Sunday evening and the news of the death of Usama Bin Laden. There has grown a debate among believers as to what our response should be to his death. Some have responded with rejoicing and excitement that an evil man, a murderer and Christ hater has met justice. Others have expressed sadness over the fact that he is, undoubtedly, now suffering eternal torment. But more troubling than the difference in perspective is the arguing among believers that is taking place as a result.

My fear is that, in his death, Bin Laden will continue to be used as an agent of Satan. If he can divide Christians, and get us distracted, get us debating each other, then he can accomplish his purpose of thwarting the Gospel. Christians who are bickering are Christians who are not witnessing, who are not living power-filled lives for Christ. Christians who are bickering look, to a lost world, just like the world.

There are verses and passages throughout the Word that say we are to love and pray for our enemies. There are also verses and passages that tell us that God punishes the wicked and that blaspheme is not tolerated by God, that His wrath is not held back upon the evil. He is a God of love and He is just and righteous, all at the same time. We may not understand all of that, but it is all true.

Yes, we are called to pray for our enemies. Yes, we can rejoice when evil is thwarted.

Mostly, though, we can not let the world see us bickering and fighting over this...in that case, Bin Laden is just as powerful as ever and Satan gets the victory.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 15:5-6

Tribute to the Day the World Changed

2011-05-02T08:39:00.002-05:00

I wrote the following in my journal on September 11, 2006. I published it a few years ago, but it seems fitting to post it again today. My daughters were 4 and 5 the day the world changed, September 11, 2001.

Five years, and watching it again today I feel the same gut level horror, the heart-racing anxiety, the overwhelming sadness…
I remember the instinct to protect my girls-to not let them see the terrifying images, to remain calm in front of them, to keep conversation normal…keep everything normal. Barney and Blue’s Clues in the den…horror and madness on the screen in my bedroom.
Even as I protected them, did I have even an inkling of the world they would grow up in? Innocence forever shattered…
A world filled with images of men and women in uniform. Flags at half mast. I don’t know how old I was when I learned what half mast meant-it certainly wasn’t 5 or 6, or 9 or 10. Terror alerts, terrorists faces on TV, war updates.
“Mama, have they found Osama Bin Laden yet? Where is he?”
“Mama, is Saddam’s trial over?”
Little girls shouldn’t know such things…or should they?

The changed world they have grown up in has taught them…
-the meaning of liberty
-the preciousness of freedom

They know the Pledge of Allegiance and the all important phrase, “One nation under God”. The Star Spangled Banner and God Bless America.
They know what our nation was founded on, and why it is still important. They recognize the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. They know what the 1st Amendment is, and what it isn’t.
They know about George Washington and John Adams and Abraham Lincoln. They recognize and know about George Bush and Dick Cheney…and Bill Clinton and John Kerry. They know why we support some but not others, and they don’t hesitate to say so. They pray, without prompting, for our nation and its leaders. They thank God for a Christian president.
They say goodbye to friends who leave to go around the world…some to protect freedom, some to preach it. They understand the absolute necessity of both. They welcome friends home from Iraq, and pray for one in Tel Aviv.
Perhaps the loss of innocence meant the birth of something greater…conviction.

Blown Away

2011-04-28T14:51:00.003-05:00

I just came back from my (almost) daily walk around my neighborhood. It is a beautiful clear day with a bright blue sky. Birds are singing and the neighborhood is quiet and orderly. Just 24 hours ago, storm clouds were churning overhead and tornado sirens were making themselves heard, not just here, but across the southeast. As I walked, I couldn't help but think about all the people who woke up yesterday to cloudy skies and ended the day amid rubble and devastation, many having lost everything.

The areas in Alabama that were most affected are familiar to me. My family is from that area, I lived in Tuscaloosa as a preschooler. I have family in Birmingham, Jasper, Clanton, not to mention friends nearby. More recently, I have become reacquainted with the area thanks to the generosity of friends with a lake house. And so I have been looking for landmarks, and sad to recognize favorite places like restaurants and stores that are no more. I feel very petty for being sad over a restaurant being gone, but I think it is more than that. It is a connection, making the loss there personal. It is the loss of the routine, the familiar.

As I thought on these things, my heart began to ache for those who have lost everything. Everything. I can't fathom it. I had really thought that I had a grasp of being open handed with God. I don't see myself as being materialistic or selfish. But the thought of those people walking through complete rubble where absolutely nothing is familiar or safe or recognizable takes my breath away. Years ago, I learned a phrase from my dear friend and teacher Randy, "It's all going to burn up in the big fire." He taught us this concept in relation to giving, letting go of our materialism and obsession with our stuff. I am beginning to see that I am comfortable with this concept because when the "big fire" comes, I know I will be with Jesus. It won't matter anymore.

But what about now? What if the big storm comes before the big fire? Would I be ok with that? I don't think I am there yet. I need to work on it. I have a long way to go. My prayer for me, and for you, is that God will teach us that our security is found only in Him. It isn't in our surroundings. It isn't in the familiar. It isn't even in our families. It is in Him alone. My prayer for those who have lost everything is that they will know the same...that God will be their anchor in these days, and that they will cling to Him, that they will find Him, in this storm.

Modesty-What God's Word Says

2011-04-26T21:34:00.004-05:00

In my last post, I gave some definitions (some better than others) of modesty. But no definition is adequate unless we look at what God's Word says. His is the definition, the explanation, that matters. What does the Word say about modesty?

1 Timothy 2:9-10 actually uses the word "modestly" (well, at least the English translation does). "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." These verses are part of Paul's instructions on living a lifestyle of worship. In verse 2 he directed believers to live "peaceful, quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." The reference to braided hair, gold and pearls was probably in response to class issues in the church. The rich were often guilty of showing off their riches, making the poor feel out of place. Paul's instructions then were to stress that a woman's dress was not to be showy, flaunting wealth, status or beauty. She was not to be a distraction to others. Drawing attention to herself meant drawing attention away from God.

The original language here used the Greek word Aidos. How does this word compare to the definitions from earlier? Aidos (pronounced ahee-doce') means to have a sense of shame, modesty, self-respect, awe. Not a negative type of shame, but a righteous sense attached to doing anything that would be disgraceful. In other words, the self-restraint to keep oneself from any behavior that would bring shame.

There is another word in these verses that carries a similar meaning: Propriety. Propriety is a translation of the Greek word Kosmios, meaning well-ordered, decent, modest, harmonious arrangement. One explanation I found said, "The well-ordering is not of dress and demeanor only, but of the inner life...expressing itself in the outward."

And so, in just these two verses, is the idea that modesty is born out of an inner sense of respect and humility, with a well ordered sense of self that does not seek attention. What, then, does that look like? It does not look flashy, or flamboyant. It does not draw the eye (particularly the male eye). It points away from itself, and hopefully points to the Creator. True beauty is from within, and accentuates outward beauty. Likewise, inward beauty is lost in translation when the outward appearance is distracting in any way.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. 1 John 2:16

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. Proverbs 11:22

Modesty

2011-04-25T20:23:00.004-05:00

Modesty. What is it? Does anyone really know anymore? We talk about it a lot. I know I have talked about it, and thought about it, a lot lately. But what is modesty, exactly? How is it defined? What does it mean?

These questions prompted me to do some research. I have discovered several definitions of modesty, and discovered some interesting facts in the process. The definition has certainly changed over the years...as has the practice. Big surprise, huh?

I started with Webster. Not the modern Webster, but with the original. In 1828, Mr. Webster defined modesty in this way:

"That lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one's own worth and importance. ...synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor."

That definition would never make it into today's lexicons. In fact, it didn't. Mr. Webster would not be well thought of by the women's lib groups today.

So, what did the more modern dictionaries have to say about modesty? The modern Mirriam Webster dictionary said this: "freedom from conceit or vanity; propriety in dress or vanity". Short and sweet. Like everything else today, it is dumbed down. It bears only a slight resemblance to the original. And there is absolutely no reference to the connection between women and modesty. Not politically correct, I suppose.

I found yet another definition. This may be my favorite (said in a rather sarcastic tone). MacMillandictionary.com gave this definition: "behavior, especially by women, that is designed to avoid causing sexual feelings in other people; a feeling of being shy or embarrassed about other people seeing your body". Seriously? MacMillan did manage to bring women back into the equation. But it went beyond Mirriam Webster's dumbing down, and sexualized the whole thing.

And therein, my friends, lies the problem.

Going back to our first definition, modesty has to do with inner worth and value. It is an outward expression of a pure heart and mind. And regardless of how offensive this may be to some, it is a feminine trait. My next post will be about how the Bible deals with modesty. But for now I will say that almost all of the references I have found deal with modesty and women. A girl, or a woman, who values herself and has a pure mind and heart will behave modestly. She will not want to draw inappropriate attention to herself. She will be more concerned with the inward than with the outward.

Today's understanding of modesty has been stripped of it's original meaning and in its place is a superficial, simplistic, carnal definition. It is so vague that few understand it, and most are offended by it. Modern feminism has convinced women that their bodies are theirs to do with what they please. Any suggestion that they should be "shy or embarrassed about other people seeing your body" (MacMillan's definition) is disregarded as preposterous and degrading.

The first step in a return to modesty, then, is to understand what it means. The next, more important step is to know what God says about it.

Resurrection Power

2011-04-23T21:08:00.002-05:00

But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. 1 Corinthians 15:12-21 (NIV)

This Resurrection Weekend, my prayer for you is that you will indeed live as if He has been raised from the dead! That truth means that in Christ, we have also been raised from the dead! Feel that truth! Live that truth! Do not let fear, anxiety, bitterness, busyness, or anything else steal that from you! Don't miss out on all the glorious wonder Christ has for you!

He lives! He reigns! He is coming back! Live like you believe it!

Seasons

2011-04-21T22:19:00.002-05:00

When my girls were very little, babies really, I made a decision. I have a vivid memory of sitting in the rocking chair holding a fussy baby with another baby napping nearby. It had been a long morning, and I had gotten absolutely nothing productive done. At least nothing I considered productive before that day. But as I sat there rocking that baby, I changed my priorities and my definition of productivity. My decision that morning was essentially this: I decided that I would treasure every moment and every stage. I didn't want to spend my days wishing their lives (and mine) away...wishing for the next (better) stage. I never wanted to look back and wish I had spent more time or done things differently. I wanted to leave every stage knowing that I had done everything I could possibly do to live that stage to the fullest. A few years later, a sweet friend gave a name to my decision. Delana talked often of "seasons". There are seasons in our lives, and the trick is learning to fully live whatever season we find ourselves in, with no apologies and no regrets.

Understanding the concept of seasons has given me a great deal of freedom over the years. It helped me get through the toddler years, knowing that potty training wouldn't last forever. When we were dealing with allergies and sinus infections and nebulizers and chest x-rays, it made it easier knowing that I wouldn't be stuck at home with a sick little one forever. When we started school at home, I knew that it was a season in my life dedicated to teaching my children everything God want me to teach them, and that there would come a season when I could return to ladies Bible studies and lunches out. Understanding seasons has also often gotten me "off the hook" in a sense. I can say "no" without guilt. Right now, the season I am in is "mother to very busy teenagers, and high school homeschool teacher". That often means "No, I am sorry, but I just can't do that right now." You see, it's just a season, and I have learned that the seasons pass faster than you can imagine.

These days, I find myself wanting to cling to my season. The days are passing by too quickly. But I have to remind myself of that early promise...no wishing away, and no looking back with regret. God has been so faithful, and I can honestly say that every season has been better than the last. I know that there are wonderful seasons to come, and I don't want to enter them looking over my shoulder. I want to be able to fully enjoy the seasons to come. So excuse me for now if I am sometimes unavailable. I am treasuring today's season so that I won't miss out on tomorrow because of regret.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Bombarded

2011-04-19T15:30:00.002-05:00

I have been bombarded this afternoon. Bombarded by the truth of what the world would like to bombard my children with. (Yes, I know they are young ladies, teenagers, but they are my children.) I am not sure if things are degenerating as rapidly as it seems, or if I am just more acutely aware of it lately. Probably a little of both.

I was alerted earlier today by two of my younger friends to the lyrics of Lady Gaga's newest song. I confess, I am not completely sure who Lady Gaga is. I have heard of her. I have heard people I know talk about her. I am pretty sure I have heard people I know compliment her "talent". I have never seen her or heard any of her songs. As of today, I know the name of one song. A little while ago I Googled it and read the lyrics. Afterward I felt like I needed to take a bath, ask forgiveness, and have my eyes and brain purged. I was disgusted and saddened. My young friends suggested she needs prayer. I agree. I won't link the song here. If you are interested, you will have to find it.

How many of our kids listen to this trash? What is going into their heads? Does anyone realize that what goes in their ears and their eyes goes straight into their heads? Once it is there, it is there to stay. And from their heads, it goes to their hearts. I am a stickler for what goes into my kids nutritionally. I am not a "food nazi" by any means, but I am cautious and do my best to make sure they are getting adequate nutrition. I care about what goes into them. I want them to live long, healthy lives. But I care even more about what goes into them in a spiritual sense. We have kids growing up spiritually starved, filling up on trash and junk and downright heresy.

Is it just music? Is it just a movie? A tv show? A book? Is is really JUST that? What is it doing to their minds and their hearts? Is it slowly numbing them to the truth? I would never feed my kids burgers and fries and chips all week, then throw in an apple once or twice a week and say I have done a good job feeding them. Why, then, would I let them live on a diet of trashy music, tv, movies and literature (I'm stretching, here, using the word literature, but bear with me) and throw in a quick prayer at bedtime, or a Bible verse, or a trip to church, and say I have done a good job?

The world is quickly losing all sense of morality. Maybe it is already lost. But those who belong to Christ are not of this world. As parents, we have to fight, and fight hard, to protect the hearts and minds of our children. Start young, and never give up. Just because they become teenagers doesn't mean our job is done. In fact, it is harder than ever. I read a statistic last night that was chilling. According to research by the Barna Group, less than one-half of one percent of adults ages 18-23 (that's college age) have a Biblical worldview. One-half of one percent! Surely 99.5 percent of those kids didn't grow up in atheistic homes. Surely many of them grew up going to church, in "Christian" homes. So what happened? I am not sure, but I have some ideas. Somewhere along the way, the 0.5 percent understood that what they were being taught about the Bible, what they were being taught AT HOME about God, had everything to do with every other part of their lives. They were raised on a spiritual diet that was consistent and pervasive.

Consistent and pervasive. That's the world's strategy. It has to be ours.

Different

2011-04-17T13:55:00.002-05:00

Therefore, come out from them and be separate. 2 Corinthians 6:17

As believers, we are called to be different. Separate from the world. Not separated, but distinct from the world. How does that look?

In our family, this began to take shape when our girls were very young. Our oldest was not yet 3 when we felt God call us to begin this homeschooling journey. We knew, with certainty, how Deuteronomy 6 was to happen in our house. We have learned along the way how it would look, and we are still learning. It isn't easy to intentionally impress God's law on their hearts.

But do you have to homeschool to obey Deuteronomy 6? I don't think so. Those of you who know me know that I am a very vocal, very committed advocate of homeschooling. I understand, though, that not everyone is called to homeschool, and not everyone who is called heeds that call. So does that preclude them, as parents, from the mandate of Deuteronomy 6? Absolutely not. I would suggest that carrying it out is harder, both from a time perspective and an environmental perspective. But I know godly parents who have successfully instilled God's Word in their children while their children were (are) involved in traditional schooling.

The verse above is one of the keys. Our children have to be taught that they are to be different. To teach it, though, we have to understand and embrace it ourselves. Being different generally doesn't come naturally. We have a tendency ourselves to want to be like everyone else. I am not sure where that desire comes from, but I believe it is part of our fallen nature. In Deuteronomy 17, God told the Israelites (through Moses) that they would seek a king like all the other nations around them. He knew this was their nature. He knows the same is true for us. Without the help of the Holy Spirit our natural desire is to be like the world.

So we have to come to an understanding that, in Christ, we are distinct. Our desires have to be conformed to His desires. It is no longer about the house or the car or the job. We often blame peer pressure for some of the battles our kids face. But more often, I believe, our children are looking to imitate us. If mom and dad are focused on the house and car and job, if they are focused on the neighborhood and the school district and the college choice, then doesn't it stand to reason that our children will be too? On the flip side, if mom and dad are focused-truly focused-on serving the Lord with all their heart, mind, and soul (and yes, even with their money and time) then perhaps our children will be as well.

I have always been okay with being different. But I will confess, as my children grow older, it is becoming more difficult. Not because my values are changing, but because the support from the outside is waning. It is a lonely place to be some days. But it is the right place. I know that the payoff is huge. As my children grow closer to adulthood, I am beginning to catch glimpses of the payoff and it is such an exciting place to be in life. My encouragement to other parents is to stand firm, and stand together. We need each other. It makes such a difference to know that there are other moms and dads fighting this fight with us. Don't be afraid to look different.

Conversations

2011-04-12T14:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, this video made its way around Facebook. I posted it, as did a number of other people. It is the second half of a sermon on modesty. Essentially, the speaker is reading parts of letters from young men about their daily struggle with lust, and how they are affected my the immodest dress of girls/women. It was very eye opening and convicting.

I sat down with both my girls and we spent about 45 minutes, first listening to the entire sermon (including part 1 which is a different video), and then talking about it. I learned something very important. I can not assume anything as it pertains to my daughter's understanding of the world. Even though we have discussed it, even though they have heard it taught in several different environments, they still did not comprehend just how visual males are, or how that affects them.

Based on this video, as well as the testimony of others, including my husband, I described to them just what a young man (or any man) sees and thinks about when they see a girl dressed immodestly. I explained that when he sees a girl in a short skirt with her legs crossed, or in a low cut or strapless top, his focus is drawn (against his will, even) to her body. They were truly surprised. They really had no idea. In their words, "That's just creepy!" Yes it is.

I have to insert here that my girls are not allowed to wear that type of clothing, nor have they ever expressed such a desire. But, I felt it was important to impress on them the reality of this and to give them even more reason for dressing modestly, beyond it just being Godly and ladylike.

As we ended, I told them, "See, when I tell you that I think you need to change t-shirts because the one you have on is a little too thin, or a little too tight, or that your dress has become too short, it isn't because I don't want you to wear cute clothes. It's because I am protecting you." It was obvious by the look on their faces, by the understanding in their eyes, that they got it.

This was a wonderful experience for me. It was a sweet time with my girls, walking with them through yet another door to maturity. It was affirming for all of us. It wasn't awkward, or forced. They certainly didn't resent it. I say that to encourage other moms to have the same conversations. Don't assume they already know it. Don't think they don't want to talk to you. Don't let anyone else have the privilege. Worse yet, don't let them go through life without knowing truth.

Don't You Know?

2011-04-11T21:34:00.003-05:00

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 1 Corinthians 6:19

I have been struggling with this post for days. There is so much I want to say, and yet I have no idea how to say it all. This is essentially what prompted me to begin blogging again. God has put a burden in my heart like nothing I have felt in a long time. I think about it much of the day. I have prayed, I have talked, I have even shed tears over this thing.

Modesty is not even an accurate word, although that's what it centers around.

My heart is for my daughters' generation, and those to follow. My desire is to encourage other moms, especially younger moms, in the battle. And believe me, it is a battle. It is a battle for the hearts and minds, and yes bodies, of our children. The enemy wants them. The world would happily hand them to him.

Moms (and Dads) HAVE to get in the battle. It seems more and more people have just given up, or been lulled into believing that they can't do anything, or have fallen into the lie themselves. They don't even try anymore. I want to stand up and shout WAKE UP! There are parents out there giving their children up without a fight. There are some who are just giving them away.

Do our girls know what boys see when they look at them? Do they understand that any suggestion of sexuality is more than enough encouragement for a boy? Where are the moms and dads when their daughters leave the house? Why aren't they saying anything? Why aren't they fighting for their daughters? Why aren't they protecting them? Why aren't they protecting the eyes and the minds of the boys who will see them?

No, it is not easy. It isn't convenient. And, as I am learning, it is absolutely not popular. But it is vitally important. Their lives depend on it. Literally. I want my daughters to reach adulthood whole, healthy, safe, and pure. How could I want less? Christian parents, please, please, please...quit sleeping.

Hard Things

2011-04-07T20:20:00.002-05:00

"On hearing it, many of his disciples said, 'This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?'

"From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him." John 6:60 and 66

These verses represent a crossroads of sorts in Jesus' life and ministry. Up to this point, he had been followed by multitudes hanging on his every word, anxiously awaiting his next miracle, hoping for something for themselves. But now his teaching shifted. These verses follow the "Bread of Life" discourse in which Jesus introduced himself as the Bread of Life, the only way to salvation. He said that eternal life was only by his flesh and his blood; only by his life and death and resurrection. Jesus' teaching began to change. Reading the Gospels, you see that the closer he got to his crucifixion, the more personal his message became, and the smaller his group of followers became. Why? Because his teachings became harder. Following Jesus costs something. Following Jesus costs everything.

Things haven't changed. It is relatively easy to attend church, go to Sunday School (or Life Group, or Small Group...), wear the t-shirt, put the "God Loves You" bumper sticker on the car. Easy, as long as it's not too hard. Or too inconvenient.

Parenting is the same way. In fact, as I think about it, the two are pretty closely tied together. It's easy to do the obvious things. The things that "look" right. But the enthusiasm wanes when it gets too hard; or too inconvenient. Just like following Jesus costs something, being a Godly parent costs something...costs everything. Just like I lost my right to myself when I chose to follow Jesus, I lost my right to myself when I became a mother. Not a very popular thought in our "take care of yourself" culture.

Often saying no is hard. Saying yes is just easier. Yes you can go, yes you can have it, yes you can quit, yes you can... I don't like to see disappointment in my children's faces. I don't like for them to be sad. I don't like for them to be angry. Sometimes I just don't feel like fighting the battle. But, just as God is more interested in my character than my happiness, I am more concerned with their character than their happiness. So, sometimes I say no. Wow...I have learned a lot about God in this process. And about myself. And about how he loves me.

So I will keep doing the hard things...as a Jesus follower, and as a parent.

Unequally Yoked-More On the Temple

2011-04-04T21:10:00.003-05:00

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

I just can't get away from this passage.

For years, I understood this verse to be a reference to marriage. Believers shouldn't marry unbelievers. And I still think that is true. But over the years, I have come to understand that it means so much more. Obviously, dating would be the next application. As the parents of two teen daughters, this has been a point of discussion in our home. (I won't elaborate more because I am sure the issue of dating will garner its own post, or series of posts.)

More recently, however, the concept of being "unequally yoked" has taken on even more facets for me. Friendships, for instance, come to mind. Tweenagers and teenagers are relational creatures. And those relationships are most often with their peers. They are influenced tremendously by their friends. Therefore, it is vitally important to consider who is influencing them. The counter to this idea is that our children, as Christians, should be "salt and light". True. They should be. But we need to teach them, train them, to differentiate between "close friends" and acquaintances". They need to be "equally yoked" in their friendships. They need to be sure (we, as parents, need to be sure) that the friends who are influencing them, in whom they are investing emotionally, are friends who share their values, beliefs, and faith.

There is another area this "unequally yoked" idea can be applied. This one has come to me in the last couple of years, and is the one I have been thinking about recently. It may be a stretch, but I think it is valid. I believe that we can be unequally yoked in the activities we, or our children, invest in. "Invest" is the key word. Obviously, there are many activities that are not expressly Christian. We do live IN the world. How do you determine, then, if they are unequally yoked in a particular activity? Obviously, there is not always a clear cut answer. But there are some questions we can ask:

-Can my child do this activity "to the glory of God"?

-How emotionally invested is he/she in this activity?

-How much time/money/energy is invested in this activity?

-Is this activity influencing my child's worldview? and Does this activity conflict with our family's worldview? *This question is vital. I think any activity that is in contrast to a Christian worldview is putting a child on dangerous ground.

-Can my child maintain his/her witness while being affiliated with this activity?

There are other questions to consider. I don't pretend to think this is an easy thing to do. Our family has had to deal with these questions and make hard choices. But we are always looking at the long term goal. And the older my children become, the more aware I am that the long term goal is more than worth the hard work. Because, again, this is the Temple we are talking about.

The Temple-Part Two

2011-04-02T23:21:00.002-05:00

This post has been edited for typos. I should learn to proof before I post

I am still thinking about the idea of the temple, and how we are to honor it. And I am still, of course, referring to the Christian as the temple of God.

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple." 1 Cor. 3:16-17

"For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said, 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' 'Therefore come out from them and be separate.' " 2 Cor. 6:16-17a

God is serious about this, and we should be as well. Even more, this is another one of those things we are to "impress on our children". How do we treat ourselves as God's temple? The issue of self esteem comes to mind. Self esteem is another one of those issues that our culture has taken and twisted, turning it into yet another way to put man above God.

Entire curricula have been written around this theme. Lessons on self esteem have taken their place alongside reading, spelling and history. There are shelves and shelves of books about self esteem in libraries and bookstores. If we were to believe these things, we would believe that we are the most important person in the world. Our children would believe that they are most important, and that their ideas, wants and dreams are of greatest importance? Aren't they?

I say no.

Yes, that is what I say. Do I want my children to think they aren't the most important person in the world? Do I want them to think that being the best at whatever they do is not the top priority? If I am seeking to disciple them in a Christlike life, then the answer to those question is yes.

"And he said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.' " Matt. 18:3-4

So, am I saying we should beat them down and tell them they are worthless? Of course not. It has already been established we (as believers) are the temple of the living God. We are created in the likeness of Him. He knew us before we took form in our mother's womb. He knit us together. He knit our children together. They are precious to him.

I believe the secret is teaching them to value themselves in relation to Him. It is all about perspective. Once we (and they) understand who He is, and who we are in relationship to Him, then we can appreciate our place, and our children can as well. They can begin to understand that they are His workmanship "created in Christ Jesus to do good works." ( Eph. 2:10). They can begin to strive to do their best, be their best, not for their own glory, but for His. "Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus..." (Col. 3:17).

The idea, then, is for them to learn to honor themselves as God's temple. To be a temple worthy of the Lord.

The Temple

2011-03-31T13:23:00.008-05:00

2 Corinthians 6

14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:
“I will live with them
and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they will be my people.”

17 Therefore,

“Come out from them
and be separate,
says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you.”

18 And,

“I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.”[d]

2 Corinthians 7

1 Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

Our pastor preached on this passage a year or so ago. I promptly went home and told my girls that we would be memorizing these verses. I was so struck by the import of these words. "For we are the temple of the living God." Wow! My heart was full for my girls to understand that thought.

The world is out to convince them otherwise. "Your body is your own." "You are supposed to look, act, be a certain way." "You aren't good enough.". The media, their friends, all the world screams at them. But God has declared, in a quiet voice, yet in a loud roar, "You are mine! You are my dwelling place!" Oh for them to hear that, and to know it with a knowing that is deeper than any hurt or fear or question. The Word of God is, indeed, living and active, it never returns void. So, rather than try to convince them myself, I determined to let Him plant it firmly in their hearts.

That doesn't let me off the hook, though. I still have an obligation. It's that Deuteronomy thing again. Teach them as you sit at home, as you walk along the way, when you get up and when you lie down. So, how do I teach them to honor the Lord's temple? How do I protect them from all the world throws at them? How, as they are becoming young women, do I teach them to protect themselves? It is a battle I face daily, one they face daily, and will all their lives.

Outward beauty is a huge deal for girls. And it is a fragile thing, a tightrope of too much, too little. To dwell on it too much breeds discontent and vanity. But isn't it ok to encourage a girl to look her best? To revel in being a girl? I say yes. Back to the temple...God had specific instructions regarding the appearance of the temple and its care. He was not pleased when it was not treated properly. I believe he wants us to look our best. But we are not to worship the temple.

There is a clothing line I have recently discovered called Nation's Outfitters. They are a Christian company, and I love their motto: "It's what you do in your clothes that makes you beautiful." What a great thought! You can dress up all you want, but if the girl inside doesn't reflect the beauty of the Lord, it's all emptiness. Sometimes they are "beautiful" in old jeans and a sweatshirt. Sometimes they are beautiful in a dress and heels and earrings.

The hardest part, for me, of navigating this whole issue, is helping them find modest, yet pretty, clothes. Have you been in the mall lately? We have some pretty strict rules around here. Stricter than most. They aren't just dressing themselves, they are adorning the temple. I have felt blessed, though, to have never faced an argument with either girl about our rules. Maybe an "Are you sure?" a few times, but nothing more. I hope that is because our "rules" are not just rules for them, but their own convictions. That is the goal, for them to take ownership of their own temple.

Deuteronomy 6

2011-03-29T11:15:00.003-05:00

"These commands that I give you today are to be on your heart. Impress them on your children."

This verse has been the guiding principle of my life as a mother since before my girls were born. It is also the hardest thing I have ever done. What I have discovered, along the way, is that "impressing" on my children has little to do with what I say. It has everything to do with what I do. And so, in order to impress God's Word on my children's lives, I have had to allow God to impress his Word on my life. Ouch. It has been, and still is, an ongoing process.

The "do as I say, not as I do" mentality has led to the culture we now live in. Children don't buy that. Just look at the thousands of adults who grew up in church, only to leave it the minute they were out from under their parents' authority. Why? Because mom and dad's behavior-what they did-never matched up to what they said they believed.

It is easy to say "be kind to others". It's not so easy to be polite to the girl at the checkout counter who messes up my order three times on a day I am in a hurry. It is easy to say "don't talk about your friends", but it's not so easy to hold my tongue when I don't agree with how someone else does something. It is easy to make a rule, choose a standard, draw a line. It is hard to keep that rule in place, remain true to the standard, stay on the right side of the line. I don't mean that I can never change my mind. Sometimes I am wrong. Sometimes circumstances change. Sometimes they outgrow my rules. There are, however, rules and standards that don't change, shouldn't change. If my rules and standards become situational, they become void. They mean nothing.

And so, I have come to realize that parenting according to Godly standards means living according to Godly standards. There is no room for compromise. There are no days off. On October 18, 1995 I became a mother. I will be a mother every day for the rest of my life. I will be "on duty" full time every day until Banana leaves home to start her own home. This is hard stuff.

Hello Again

2011-03-28T21:30:00.002-05:00

I have not blogged in one year. I have thought about it, I just haven't done anything about it. I have felt guilty about leaving my little blog alone and forgotten. But I have just been lazy. Couldn't think of anything worth saying, or didn't want to put forth the effort to say it. And, I confess, I have let Facebook suck up too much of my time.

But I think I might return to the blogging world. There are a lot of things floating around in my head that I might need to say. I will let you know...those of you who are interested. If nothing else, I might do it for myself.

Easter, Jesus, and the Cross-My Costly Salvation

2010-04-02T21:06:00.000-05:00

I was driving through "town" yesterday (using that loosely, as in-through one of the metro suburbs) when I passed a church with an "Easter display" right out front, right on the road. On first glance, that was all I thought about it. But then I looked again, and I was struck by the inappropriateness of it. Or maybe it was just wrong. Or something...

What was it? It was a plywood type cutout, in color, of Jesus carrying his cross. So, you ask, what could be wrong with that? Nothing on the surface. Perfectly applicable for Easter week. Except for the details.

Jesus...this was (as my friend WT often refers to him) the Anglo-Saxon Jesus. A clean, white, pale complected, blue-eyed Jesus. He was wearing a fresh, clean, nicely pressed white tunic with the obligatory blue cloak. His hair was nicely brushed and hanging in pretty waves down his back and over his shoulders.

He was kneeling down on one knee. I am sure this is to indicate the weight of the cross. But he looked so serene, as if he were actually kneeling to look at something that had caught his attention on the ground. His face was relaxed, not at all disturbed or concerned. His hands were folded gently on the cross. And on his head, adorning his neatly brushed hair was a crown of....something. It looked like a crown of ivy, or maybe a daisy chain.

It struck me, in the few seconds it took me to notice all this, that THIS is part of the problem with the church today. Not a church, not a particular local body, but the Church at large. Christians have cleaned Jesus up, made him something they can be comfortable with. And in the process, they have lost who He is and have failed to relay that reality to others.

People, I hate to break this to you, but the walk to Golgotha, carrying that cross, was UGLY. Jesus was dirty and bleeding. His flesh was torn. He was bruised and in pain. He was almost naked. ("Gasp!" said all the nice church ladies.) His hair hung dirty and sweaty and blood soaked. That crown was a crown of thorns, digging into his scalp. The cross was unbearably heavy. He was weak and tired and half-dead.

The Church doesn't like that image, because it isn't comfortable with the fact that our salvation cost something. It cost Jesus his life. It was expensive. And it costs us something. That is the problem, I think. Something that doesn't cost much is easy to dismiss. It's easy to put aside, disregard, put away when it isn't convenient. On the other hand, something that is costly requires something of us. It requires our attention. It required our devotion. It COSTS us something.

My salvation was costly. It was extravagant. It requires my complete devotion and all that I am. Jesus gave His life for me. My salvation requires that I give my life to Him.

Sequence

2010-03-01T14:27:00.005-06:00

I spent the weekend with my family. Yes, my immediate family of Kearsdad, Kat, and Banana as well as our extended Solid Ground family. It was Winter Retreat weekend, and our whole family got to participate for the first time. This was Banana's first Student Retreat, and her first trip with the whole student ministry AS a student and not as a tag-a-long! What a blessing to watch my girls learn and worship and play with their friends and church family.

An added blessing was that I got to be small group leader to Kat and her group of bffs. These were mostly girls that I have watched grow up together. How precious it was to listen to them share their hearts and grow in God's love. We ended out small group time together by allowing some of them to share their testimonies with each other. INCREDIBLE!

Our Bible Study title was Sequence, and it was a study of the blueprint for the Christian walk as described by Jesus: "Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me." How do you teach 14 year old girls to deny themselves? How do you teach adults to deny ourselves? We are by nature selfish people. The good news is that if we know Christ, we have a NEW nature and through Christ we have the power to do what it takes to deny ourselves. Jesus left his will in the Garden of Gethsemane when he said, "Not my will, but yours be done." While salvation is free, discipleship has a cost. The call to personal holiness is going to mean sacrifice on our part.

The issue of holiness was an interesting part of our discussion. It seems most people, teenagers included think that holiness means being perfect. That, I think, is why so many people think that holiness is impossible to attain. But God would not call us to do something impossible. "Be holy because I am holy." Holiness isn't perfection, it is "other-ness". God is holy, that is, he is totally different and separate from anyone else. He calls us to be different, separate. The more we look like Christ, the more we act and think and walk like Christ, the more we become different from the world. If we are real disciples, others will see it in our lives and in our different-ness. If we aren't different enough to be noticed, then I daresay we are not living in holiness and are not attaining discipleship.

The next step in the sequence is taking up our cross. If you think teaching the idea of denying self is hard, try explaining what it means to take up a cross! One way I tried to approach this was by explaining that denying self is "not doing what you want to do", and taking up your cross is "doing what God wants you to do". Our cross is our identification with Christ. But as Americans, we have little understanding of real suffering. One would think teenagers who have never encountered anything harder than having to wait until they are 13 for a cell phone, or having to wait until their birthday for a new iPod, have no idea how to understand real suffering. But they are dealing with real issues. They attend school and interact with kids who have no Christian context at all. They deal with parents who fight, friends who see nothing wrong with alcohol or sex. They feel the pressure to fit in. They are inundated with images of the world on tv and in the movies and in their video games. To live for Christ in that environment is hard. But understanding the extreme suffering of Christ on our behalf makes our difficulties seem petty. On Saturday night, the kids came face to face with that idea as they participated in an interactive worship service that included a clip of The Passion of the Christ.

Finally, we talked about following Christ. Denying self and taking up a cross is hard stuff. But following Jesus brings real joy and peace. Not that it is easy. The path we follow is rocky and narrow. But life in Christ is full to overflowing. It is fun. It is beautiful. One of the things I pointed out to the girls is that Jesus wants to use them and their talents and abilities to glorify Himself. Following Jesus isn't something for adults only. I want teenagers to understand that Jesus wants to use them now, as they are, with their skills and talents, for His Kingdom.

Following Christ is the third step in the sequence. But it is not the last. As we move along the path of following Jesus, we will find ourselves-over and over-having to deny self and take up the cross. So the pattern is...Deny Yourself, Take Up Your Cross, Follow Jesus, Repeat.

Ballet Class

2010-02-20T14:23:00.004-06:00

Last week was parent observation at Ballet. This was the first time Kearsdad and I have been able to sit in one of Banana's classes. We have watched through the window many days, but sitting in class gives you a much better idea of what is going on. As has been the case all year, we continue to be so glad we moved her to BMag. The training, both physical and spiritual, and the relationships are incredible.

Banana has entered a new world of ballet. She got her first pair of pointe shoes a couple of weeks ago. Learning to walk, stand, and stretch in pointe shoes is a whole new experience. And they haven't even thought about actually dancing in them! :) She has a long way to go before she's off and leaping in them, but she is enjoying learning. Who knew dancers used Duct Tape on their toes?? Thank goodness for brightly colored pretty Duct Tape!

Snow? Yes!

2010-02-16T13:22:00.008-06:00

In February, of all times! For the last several years my girls, Kat in particular, has so badly wanted it to snow. All year long she would ask, "Do you think it will snow this year?" Well, last fall she declared that THIS would be the winter we saw snow. And she was right! Who knew?

We saw some snow in December. On the Friday night after our first Christmas Worship program, we walked out of church to see that it was snowing! What fun! We went to Junebug's mama's house and played in the snow for a while....yeah, in the dark. Who cared?

In January, we saw flurries a couple of times, and even had a little accumulation one day, but not much to speak of.

Then last week the forecasters started saying it was coming. I'll admit, it was a little hard to have too much faith in the forecast. After all, this is Mississippi! On Thursday we made the decision to postpone our student winter retreat because it looked like it was going to happen. Late that night, snow started falling. Still, I was skeptical...

But on Friday morning we woke up to this:

It was beautiful! I am so thankful for that day...but not just because it was pretty, or because we had a great family day, although those are both great things. I was thankful for the joy, for the childlike excitement that filled my house that morning. With two teenage girls, I don't get to see it that often anymore. For just a few hours, I had two little girls, oblivious to everything but the joy and fun around them. It's a memory I think I'll treasure for a long time.

Welcome to 2010!

2010-01-01T23:07:00.002-06:00

I have become more and more aware this year of how many things I have to be thankful for. I have never been into the "New Year Resolution" routine, but I do remember last January 1 thinking that the one thing I wanted out of 2009 was to end the year closer to Jesus than when I started. I also set goals for myself as a mom, and one of those goals was to concentrate on helping my girls build their relationship with Christ as well. I think that my outlook on this past year has a lot to do with those goals.

You see, when you keep your focus on Jesus, your perspective changes. I really am more aware than ever that I am incredibly blessed. I have an awesome Savior. I am married to the world's most wonderful husband. I have precious daughters. We are blessed with some incredible friendships. We are part of the most wonderful church family in the world. I could go on and on...

And so, I look forward to 2010 and all it holds for us. I wish the same for you!

My Newest Teenager

2009-12-31T16:11:00.008-06:00

Banana turned 13 yesterday. My baby is a teenager. I told Kearsdad that I've really been thinking of her as a teenager for a while now, but this made it official. I am so proud of the beautiful young lady she is becoming.

We celebrated all day! Birthdays at our house are a big deal. Maybe not always a big party and a lot of hoopla, but we make sure the person celebrating the birthday is made to feel special. I have a Happy Birthday sign that I bought for Kat's 3rd birthday party. I have used it every year since...on the night before each girl's birthday, after they are asleep, I hang the sign on their door. Sometimes I also put a matching one on the fireplace mantle. But since stockings are still up, I only decorated Banana's door.

We met Kearsdad for lunch at Banana's favorite sushi place. There she opened her presents from us...Kat gave her a dvd she's been waiting on, and we gave her the accompanying cd. Our big gift, though, was similar to Kat's 13th birthday gift...her birthstone ring. So pretty.

After lunch, Banana, Kat and I went shopping for a while, looking for curtains for her room. Grandmama ordered her new (grown-up-looking) bedding. After shopping, we stopped at Berry Berry Good Yogurt....mmmm.

The highlight of her day, however was a SURPRISE! We managed to pull of a surprise birthday party last night with the help of some awesome friends. I was reminded last night of how blessed we are to have friends who love us and love our children. The party was a hit, and she was genuinely surprised! Thanks to Junebug for helping me pull it together, thanks to MPBs Mama for an awesome cake, thanks to some special friends for helping us plot and scheme!

Happy Birthday sweet girl! I love you!

The Celebration of Jesus' Birthday

2009-12-29T22:14:00.009-06:00

Katherine playing carols for us Christmas Eve afternoon.

My beautiful girls in front of the tree...used to be the tree towered over them...

All of us before church. I really like this picture.

Christmas day...the girls got iPod Touches. This is what they looked like most of the day.

Another view...

They also got the game Apples to Apples...fun game!

Ours was a very Merry Christmas. I hope yours was too. We are blessed indeed!

Christmas Dream

2009-12-21T22:05:00.002-06:00

We just completed our first Christmas Dream experience with Ballet Magnificat! I cannot say enough what an amazing experience it was. From beginning to end, and all points in between, it was a blessing. When God prompted us almost a year ago to consider moving Banana to this Dance School, we had no idea what we were in for, or what we had been missing. This week, being a part of this production, brought it all together for us. Everything Ballet Magnificat is and stands for is centered around Jesus Christ and bringing Him Glory. I am so honored to be associated, even by way of my daughter, with this ministry. And I am thrilled that she is training under and influenced by such Godly men and women.

I cannot believe we had never seen Christmas Dream. It is magnificent. The Nutcracker doesn't hold a candle to this worship experience. Banana enjoyed it so much. She was a "Kingdom Kid"...such a cute dance! Below are a few pictures...all from dress rehearsal. Notice the bright colors, and the smiles on the girls' faces. The joy on their faces is real. It's contagious. I especially love the expression on Banana's face in the first picture...it represents for me the happiness she experiences in dance. The relationships between the girls and between the staff and the girls is priceless to me. For us, this really was a Dream.

Christmastime

2009-12-14T19:58:00.009-06:00

It's been a nice December. We are done with school until after the New Year! We have completed Rejoice-our church Christmas concert/worship service. The music was beautiful. It really was worshipful. This coming weekend is Christmas Dream, and Banana is dancing. The differences between Nutcracker and Christmas Dream are too numerous to count. The music is the same. The story is different. Christmas Dream is completely focused on Christ. As is everything else. Rehearsals are wonderful. Our schedule for the week is wonderful. No rehearsal ends later than 5:30! No rehearsal is longer than 3 hours. I don't know what to do with myself! We can actually enjoy this!

Our low key December has allowed me to get the house completely decorated in a timely fashion and have time to really enjoy it. Thought I'd share a few pictures.

To top it all off, we have even had time for a Christmas party! The girls wanted to have a party, so I let them invite 2 friends each. We had cookies and snacks...and coffee and flavored creamers! That was a hit. I used my Christmas china and let the girls have a real party. They enjoyed eating and talking and then they played Christmas carol pictionary. That was a hoot! Here they are in front of the playroom tree...

Thanksgiving Pictures

2009-12-01T19:35:00.006-06:00

Our little family Thanksgiving was so nice...We decided to go "all out". Banana wanted to use the good china and crystal. This was actually the first time the girls had ever used it! Isn't that sad? I guess I never felt like they were "old enough". Well, I decided that from here on out, nothing is off limits! I don't want to look back one day and wonder why we never...

Anyway...we put a table cloth on the table, and pulled out the linen napkins. Banana said "No paper." It was lovely. And fun!

idk hahaha

2009-11-13T20:44:00.002-06:00

The other night my bff Junebug and I were sitting at dinner having a conversation. Or, rather, trying to have a conversation. It was made difficult by the children at the other end of the table. They kept texting us. Yes, texting from one end of the table to the other. They thought it was very funny. We just thought it was annoying.

That brings up the whole issue of texting. If you have a child between the ages of...oh, say 11 and 14, you'll understand this. If yours are younger, just wait. If your are much older, they may have passed through this stage before the advent of cellular appendages.

Recently, my bff Junebug and I talked about the texting habits of said children. Being good mothers, we read our children's texts from time to time. Not that there is much to tell, because we have superior children. Ok, so I am exaggerating, but all in all they are pretty good kids. Still, you have to stay on top of these things.

My oldest child, who, for this post, we will call The Informer, tends to have more wordy texts. Her's tend to be more informative. I don't worry about her because, as her name clearly states, she is The Informer. She tells everything. Sometimes she tells more than I want to know. If she ever does anything wrong, she tells me. Like the time she cut her hair in her 4 year old Sunday School class and came out of class crying to tell me. In fact, she still tells me about that time. But, I digress...

Then there is my other child. The Free Spirited Dancer. The Other-Half-Of-The-Entity-Known-As-The-Peas. Her texts are much more...shall we say...interesting? Amusing? And here is where I was going with this...(yes, I do have a point here). Here is a fictional example of a text conversation between The Dancer and one of her friends:

R U coming 2 church?
Ya. Ha.
Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha
I no
LOL
Wat time?
IDK
KK ha
haha
ttyl
KK ha
haha

The above will only make sense to you if you have a child with a cell phone. That is really how they talk. Seriously. And that is the short version. What Junebug and I and our spouses can't figure out is why these children feel the need to insert "ha" into every conversation. Every exchange. But in self-defense, or retaliation, or as a result of the insanity to which they have driven us, the four of us have begun inserting "ha" into our own conversations, text or otherwise. So a couple of nights ago (late, like when we both should've been in bed but weren't) JB and I had this text conversataion:

Oh I so love that blog.
Haha Thanks. Ha. But now I've stayed up too late. Haha.
Ha
Idk ha

I should probably be embarrassed by that. But I'm not. I doubt JB is either. So, ha.

Images of Fall

2009-10-27T21:28:00.001-05:00

I love the colors of fall...here are a few I found today.

Algebra

2009-10-21T13:45:00.002-05:00

The other day, my Facebook status said, "Jeannie thinks it is unfair that algebra should be the bane of one's existance more than once in a lifetime." See, I hated algebra. I took pre-algebra in 8th grade. I was really bad at it. I think I may have ended up with a C. I attribute it to the fact that the teacher was terrible. I remember that she was completely uninterested in explaining it. Then I took algebra 1 in 9th grade. I was still terrible. I still didn't like my teacher. What is it with math teachers who don't want to teach math? This particular teacher acted like the act of showing up at school, not to mention teaching, was just too much for her. Again, I am pretty sure I made Bs and Cs. Probably mostly Cs. My math experience didn't get much better...except for Geometry. I did really well in Geometry. 100s. A+.

So here I am, nearly 30 years later, still suffering the ill effects of my algebra experience. And what am I doing? Algebra. Every day. Teaching algebra to my reluctant math student daughter. I will admit, it is coming a little easier to me now than it did then. But you see, God has a sense of humor. He really does. And he has gifted me with a daughter who thinks just like I do. And it is my responsibility to teach this stuff to her in a way that makes sense, and to try to convince her that it is important and necessary for life. Junebug will agree with me that those things are not true. No one really uses algebra. At least no one who is normal. I think Funandone does algebra in his spare time because he thinks it's fun. But Funandone also doesn't think wood floors are necessary, and he doesn't like onions. So what does he know?

Anyway, my days (or at least my mornings) are now consumed with trying to explain how to solve: 8(x-3)-5(x-2)=6 to a child who can't comprehend that 5 is really -5, and 2 is really -2 and therefore (-5)(-2) is really 10 and not (-10). Do you see my dilemma? And then there is the whole issue of moving the parts of the equation from one side to the other. Oh my. Do you move the x's or do you move the numbers and which one do you move first? And do you add them or subtract them? And if you subtract from a negative number is it more or less? Makes me want to run screaming from the room.

I don't run screaming though. (Well, okay I USUALLY don't.) I remember those teachers who didn't care and didn't teach. And I remember how much that made me hate it. And I remember how poorly I did in Math and how it showed up when I took the SAT. So I sit patiently, problem after problem, trying my best to remain calm and positive. I'm not sure how long I can maintain the facade.

Lucky for me, child #2 is a math whiz. Hopefully she will not require quite as much attention (although by then I'll have it mastered). She on the other hand, has other issues. Today she said this to me: "Mom, my lesson book says to read (history) to page 21. This section ends on page 22. So, can I just read to page 20 instead?" Yes, she really said that.

Happy Birthday Week!

2009-10-18T22:20:00.003-05:00

It's the tail-end, last minute...but that's how life is lately. But before it is completely over, I want to say Happy Birthday to two of the three most important people in my world!

Kearsdad celebrated his birthday earlier this week, but I was negligent and didn't get any pictures. So here he is today at the adult end of the table as we celebrated Kat's birthday lunch. I may be late, but I want him to know he is the greatest thing, besides Jesus, that has ever happened to me and I love him very much.

Today is Kat's 14th birthday. Doesn't seem like it's been 14 years. I still remember all those feelings and emotions that day. What a precious blessing she is, to me and to everyone who knows her. I love you Kat, more than you will ever know! Happy Birthday, angel!

Disney-Part Two

2009-09-29T21:29:00.010-05:00

Before April of this year, we had not been to Disney (or Orlando, for that matter) in 9 years. Our trip in April was the first one that the girls could really "remember". When we left that last day, it was with sad hearts, thinking that we would probably not be back for a couple of years. Much to our surprise, and delight, we got to make a second trip this year. Yes, I said two trips in one year! Thanks, very much, to Kearsdad's employer! He was chosen to attend a conference held at none other than the Disney Swan and Dolphin! And we got to go with him!

Here are the girls at the fountain in the lobby as we were checking in. The girls and I decided that the lobby smelled like Soarin'. Kearsdad said he couldn't smell anything.

Here is a view of the hotel from the walkway between the Dolphin (where we stayed) and the Swan. The Dolphins, as seen in the picture above, don't look like dolphins. They look like fish. Here is the information my good friend Junebug provided for me about the Dolphin and its' emblem:

The statues on top of the Dolphin hotel are not mammalian dolphins, but a stylized version of a nautical dolphin, a common symbol used on old world nautical maps. The design of the creatures is based on Triton Fountain in Rome.
Kat said she and JMatt decided that the real story is that the dolphins are magical Disney dolphins and that is why they look different.

We spent the weekend, Saturday and Sunday, in Epcot and the Magic Kingdom with Kearsdad. David, one of Kearsdad's "boys" got to join us Saturday and later in the week too! It was an extra treat to get to spend time with him. (He is attending school in Orlando. Rough life, ya know?)

While Kearsdad was in his conference during the week, the girls and I went back and forth between the pool (I will have to post a picture of the pool later), and the parks. We slept late, enjoyed breakfast, took our time, and had lots of fun.

There was, however one sad and traumatic moment. On Sunday (day two) about midway through the day, the unthinkable happened. There I was, sitting on the boat on the Jungle Cruise, when I reached for my camera. Something felt wrong. I looked down to realize the shutter release button was GONE! Not there! I panicked! I disturbed the whole boat looking around for the missing pieces. We found the button, and a spring. But apparently an integral part was still missing. There was no fixing it. I really almost cried. Instead, we ended up going back to our room for a little while. While there, I got online, looked up the missing part, found it, and ordered it! So now, that part is on its way. Not in time to use my camera in Disney all week, but hopefully we will be able to fix it. The rest of the weeks pictures are on my phone and Kat's camera. Not sure how good those will be, but better than nothing I suppose!

So...for now...here are a few more pictures from our trip BEFORE my camera died. I haven't loaded the pics from Kat's camera to the computer yet. More pictures to come...
(I am not sure what the fascination was with this phone booth...but we have multiple pictures of it from both trips.)

Test Track!

End of Summer

2009-09-07T15:07:00.006-05:00

So, today is the official last day of summer. It's a beautiful day, not too hot, and I actually saw a couple of yellowish leaves on the ground in the back yard today. Fall must be on the way.

School is off to a good start. So far, high school isn't nearly as scary as I expected it would be. The girls are moving along nicely and liking their studies. They are taking two "classes" this year with our homeschool group-art and science-and are really enjoying them! Anna begins ballet this week, moving us into a full swing schedule. I'm afraid I've grown quite lazy, and I'm a little worried about getting back into a routine. We'll see how I do.

Now, with all that talk of schedules and routines...we are about to blow ours. You see, we leave in just 11 days for ORLANDO! We are going back! I finally got over the fact that we got to spend a whole week there in the spring, never dreaming we'd go back so soon. Kearsdad gets to attend a conference there...at one of the Disney resorts, no less...and we get to go too! We'll do a couple of days at the parks on the weekend before the conference begins, and then the girls and I will spend the week hanging out, swimming, enjoying the resort, shopping, etc. for the rest of the week. And spending a little time with our Orlando-based Devore as well! So much for routines and schedules, huh?

Finally, I leave you with a couple of pictures of the girls with their little friends from down the street. They are also church buddies...and the girls are their favorite babysitters. They took advantage of the beautiful weather this week and took the boys down to the boat landing to fly their kite...

To Love a Book....

2009-08-17T16:02:00.004-05:00

What could be better?

I love homeschooling, for many, many reasons. Some days I feel completely stressed. Some days I'm just too tired. Some days I wonder if I'm a complete failure. But then God sends something my way to remind me that He is my strength, that He has called me to teach my children, that nothing could be better (for us), and that through Him, I am succeeding. He did that the other day.

We haven't even officially started school yet. The girls began a science class that they are taking through our homeschool group, but we haven't started anything at home yet. I needed a little more time to get our home organized and my head on straight after our whirlwind summer. So, since we haven't begun, I haven't even experienced any of the above mentioned negative emotions. We still have a whole year lying before us like a blank canvas. How exciting.

But God gave me a sweet gift the other day. A little background first...Banana has never been a big reader. In fact, she has never had any interest whatsoever in reading. This truly made me sad because there is nothing better than a good book. I love to read. Kat loves to read too, and we enjoy our passion together. But not Banana. She has never had much use for books. I think it's her daddy's fault.

Early on in our homeschool experience this was a concern. Teaching Kat to read was a joy. She loved it...she loved books, she loved looking at books, she loved being read to and learning to read for herself. Banana, however, fought me every step of the way. She had no use for reading. Just didn't see why it was necessary. I really believe if she had been in a traditional school setting she would have been labeled "learning delayed" or some such thing. But I knew better. I knew it was a matter of personality and time. I had been assured by many wise parents who had gone before that patience and time were all she needed. So I read to her. I allowed her to move at her own pace. Eventually, I began to see her making progress. She knew HOW to read, she just didn't have any interest in it. Still, I didn't push. I let her read at her own pace, and I continued to read to and with her. As long as she was reading her own lessons and working independently, I knew that she was reading at an appropriate level. I didn't worry about it beyond that.

Her attitude began to change, however, last Spring. After a visit with a homeschool group to the Eudora Welty home, Banana suddenly expressed an interest in books! It was a miracle! God bless Eudora Welty! After that trip, Banana found a book she wanted to read and she read it cover to cover! And loved it! This was the book that she loved (and still loves):

So, fast forward to last week. I had gone to the library to get the girls the first books they needed for their history/literature study. I wanted them to go ahead and get a head start on the reading. Kat's book (Uncle Tom's Cabin) was available, but Banana's book (The World of Columbus and Sons) had to be requested from another branch. On Thursday, Banana and I stopped by to pick up her book. It is a fairly large, book. It's old, published in 1965, and looks like school books I remember from my early elementary years (ahhh....good memories!). Banana looked it over, and made a comment about it being old. I assured her that it was historically accurate. In the car, she began looking through the book, which surprised me a little. I didn't say anything so as not to alert her that looking at the book might be construed as interest.

That night I suggested that she begin reading a little of her book. The chapters are very short, and I showed her how much needed to be read by the time we begin school next week. There was a good deal of moaning and groaning at this suggestion, but I persisted and sent her away with the book. Later I asked her if she read the first chapter. She answered that she had read TWO! Wow! It got even better though.

Friday night I went into Banana's room to see if she was ready for bed. I found her in her bed, lamp on, and she was READING her book! Yes!!! She looked up and said to me, "This is a really good book! I know it's a history book, but I really like how it's written. It's very interesting!" I could have cried I was so happy!! To find my girl in bed reading a book was a wonderful thing! The only thing better than being a part of my children learning, is seeing them enjoy it!

A Month? Really?

2009-07-27T10:58:00.002-05:00

Could it really be a month since I blogged? The summer has been so completely full...time is just rushing past and I feel like I'm caught in a strong current pushing me forward. Full of good things, but too many good things. Last night I decided that next summer we will have to learn to apply the word "no" to our vocabulary. I don't like the feeling of rushing here and there, I feel like I've missed too much time with my family.

The upside, the blessing, is that I have spent a lot of time serving the Lord, learning about the Lord, sharing the Lord side by side with my girls. But we've just been on the go so much...I would like some down time, family time. I guess that's one of the blessings about homeschooling. While most will be sending their children off to school in a couple of weeks, we will be settling in. The school year is our family time. It makes it easier to spend the summer serving and traveling. I am proud of all my girls have done this summer. They have really had the opportunity to give and serve these last couple of months. I am so glad they want to do those things.

We have a couple more weeks of activities planned, then most people will be back to school. That's when I plan to intentionally do nothing for a couple of weeks before we begin our school year. A little down time. A little play time.

As I Remember Them

2009-06-25T18:38:00.003-05:00

This is how Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett exist in my memory. Neither lived a life to be emulated. Actually, both were (and are) to be pitied. Sad lives, sad endings. But nevertheless, the images above are indelibly tied to my childhood and adolescence. Charlies Angels was a favorite. I remember going to my friend Liz's house, out in the "country" (actually, probably within Montgomery city limits, not urban at all) and we'd play Charlies Angels in the barn and pasture behind her house. We had walkie talkies and everything. We took turns being Jill (Farrah), even though I WAS the blonde and rightfully should have been Jill all the time.

I became aware of Michael Jackson a little later...a couple of years. My friend Tiffany and I played his "Off the Wall" album (a real album, you know) over and over. My favorites were "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough" and "Rock With You". Classic Michael. A few years later, my friend Wendy became mildly (okay, madly) obsessed with Michael and "Thriller". I liked the earlier Michael better, but I heard my share of "Billy Jean".

Today, they are both gone. While I admired neither, I'm still a little nostalgic for the part they played in happy childhood memories.

Mission Trips and Swine Flu

2009-06-19T18:56:00.002-05:00

What, you ask, does one have to do with the other? Everything! You go off on a mission trip, you bring home swine flu! Not me, luckily. But Kat and Banana and several of their closest friends!

Last week was our middle school mission trip. This is "my" trip, in that it is the summer event that I am solely responsible for. I get help, as needed, but I am in charge of planning and implementing it. It is my favorite trip of the year. I am usually more geared to older kids, but there is something about this week with the middle school kids that is special. You get a glimpse of what is to come. And this year was particularly special for a couple of reasons. First, this trip involved the group of friends that my girls have grown up with. I have known most of those kids since they were in preschool or before! Kat's very best friend, JMatt was on this trip. All of her girlfriends were on this trip.

The other reason it was special is related...for four years my girls have traveled with me on student ministry trips. They have been the "little kids", the "tag-alongs". They have hung in there and enjoyed themselves as much as possible. They have made older friends and lifelong memories, but they have always been on the outside. Last year was a little different for Kat, it was her 7th grade year and her age group went, but not her close friends. Her closest friends are all a year behind her in school (another story). So this year it was HER year! Banana was with us, and I am blessed to be able to say that Banana and Kat share a friend group. Now Banana's two "BFFs" weren't there, but she enjoyed the group of girls just fine. It was so special for me to see my girls fully enjoy this experience.

It was a good week. Relatively little drama. Most of the kids were very well behaved. We worked hard in the hot sun. We had the usual church van problems, including a broken van window caused by a the meeting of a rock and a weed-eater. We played hard, slept little, and ate good food (yes, good food on a mission trip). I witnessed some wonderful emotional and spiritual growth of two girls I have been praying for all year! I saw some incredible potential in some young men. I spent some special time with my high school helpers, some of whom will be leaving for college in a couple of months. It was a good week.

But all good things end....and ours ended with a bang. On Thursday, kids started "dropping like flies". First one with a sore throat and a fever...home she went. Later another (Banana, actually) feeling sick and tired and puny. And another, and another... Unbeknownst to me, two more girls arived home that night with fever. Around 4 am, Banana woke me up with a terrible cough and a temp of 102. By the time I got up the next morning I had a message to call CB (boss, aka student pastor). One of the girls had tested positive for Influenza A-possible swine flu. I needed to call parents. Ooops...let me call the doctor first! We were in his office by 2:30. Anna was positive for influenza A. Kat was positive (let me mention that Kat NEVER felt bad). I was negative. Another girl was postive too. There were a few others who felt sick but tested negative (false negative, I wonder?).

Let me insert here the girls' sleeping arangements. There were 4 positive flus, and 3 others who didn't feel well. That is 7 girls. These 7 girls slept in a little "cubby", an area of the dorm, with 3 bunk beds. How did 7 girls sleep in 3 bunk beds? Why, they pushed them together of course! 4 slept on top, 3 slept on bottom! Yes, if you ever wonder what is the best way to spread germs and cause a flu epidemic, it is by putting a bunch of girls in one bed!

In the end, we learned that the whole swine flu hoopla has been tremendously overblown! At least in our area, swine flu symptoms resemble a bad cold. The symptoms lasted no more than about 3 days. Like I said, Kat never even had symptoms. Banana was puny and feverish no more than 18 hours. Our doctor, as well as a couple of other health professionals told us that is what they have been seeing. I do know that there have been more serious cases, but compared to "regular" flu, this was nothing. We did observe the standard 5 day isolation aka go crazy in your house for 5 days. All four of us took Relenza. Everyone seems to be well now. It will give us something to talk about for years to come!

A mission trip to remember.

Recitals, Dance News, And Answers to Prayer

2009-05-27T13:41:00.010-05:00

School is out, recitals are over, and I actually have a few days with no real schedule. It won't last long, but I am going to take advantage of it to try to catch up on this blog. I feel like I have really neglected it, but so much has been going on, I've been somewhat overwhelmed...and not quite sure where to begin. I still have some Disney news and pictures I want to share, but I'm going to start, instead, with Banana's recitals and dance news.

The dance news actually begins back in February. A discussion between Kearsdad and I about some family issues led us to begin praying about some specific things. Nothing real big, just things we felt led to pray over regarding the girls. We began praying for some particular things for Banana. I asked a couple of people to pray with me. Around this same time, rehearsals began for Beauty and the Beast, her dance company's spring performance. Within a few weeks, God began to move...

Up until this point, Banana had never complained about a dance rehearsal or schedule. She loved her classes and never complained about the heavy schedule. A few weeks after we began praying, though, that began to change. She wanted to be picked up early on Wednesdays because she was "tired of always being late for Bible Study" and she complained about the weekend rehearsals, especially on Sunday. She wasn't talking about her dance friends as often. All of this was a little subtle, but began to add up.

Then one week, as I was checking our weekly rehearsal schedule, I noticed that the director had scheduled a couple of older girls for a Sunday morning rehearsal. Bells went off. A line had been crossed. We knew that, eventually, Wednesdays were going to become more of an issue. But Sunday morning?? No way. Kearsdad said to me, "Do you think it is time we looked into moving her to "---" (a local Christian dance school). What he didn't know was that I had been looking into that very thing, checking out their website and schedules just out of curiosity. God had obviously been preparing us!

Now for the next step. How would Banana respond to that idea? She had been at her school for four years, in the company for two. She had friends, she was comfortable. Comfortable is a big deal with her. Should we wait? I though maybe so...after all, she was right in the middle of prepping for this performance. But that night, at bedtime, God nudged me. So I casually asked her, "What would you think of considering a move to "--" next year. She looked at me calmly and said, "Yeah, I think so!" What?!?!?! Yes, God, we hear you!

And so the decision was made. We completed our year, eventually telling the director we were leaving (but not where we were going). As the year wore on, we were reminded over and over what a good decision we had made. A couple of weeks ago, Banana went to the new school where we registered, and she danced for observation and placement. It was a very enjoyable experience with a result we were all very happy with. Banana is very much looking forward to next year.

So, last week she danced in her last performances with the old company. It really wasn't sad at all for any of us. Kearsdad's parents came over and got to see her dance for the first time. She also had friends accompany us two nights, and that was fun for her.

Here are Kat, LouLou and Banana after the last performance!

BMW got to go one night with us, AND spend the night in the middle of the week! Yea Summer!

On stage for the last ballet...

Sweet sisters! Kat is her sister's biggest cheerleader and defender!

She hated this dance, but I thought she was beautiful in the costume...and she danced beautifully too!

Goof off-waiting to rehearse the jazz piece.

Smiles in the Magic Kingdom

2009-05-16T22:13:00.002-05:00

Finally, I am working on some Disney posts. One of the problems is that trying to come up with anything to say is so overwhelming. So for now...I'll just relive it with you through pictures. These are all from our first day...our magical day in the Magic Kingdom. It was and is our favorite of all the parks. We returned again and again. It is what Disney is all about for me. There are more...I'll work on them later. For now...enjoy!

Coming Soon...

2009-05-12T20:05:00.003-05:00

I have been kindly reminded by my sweet friend DebbieB that I have not done a Disney post yet. I am aware of that fact, and I promise to take care of that as soon as possible. When I finish this ridiculously crazy week, I plan to schedule in time to do a lovely post about our wonderfully fantastic week! Until then, here's a picture in front of one of our favorite rides...

Rules for Eating Out With More Than Two Children

2009-04-17T22:02:00.002-05:00

For future reference...

1. Upon entering restaurant, inform host/hostess that your party requires two separate tables. By separate, you do not mean two tables pushed together to resemble one. You mean TWO SEPARATE TABLES.

2. Never, ever, allow the hostess to seat you at one of those corner round tables that are intended for 8 to 19 people, but only really seat 6. And don't let them try to convince you that putting an extra chair at the table will make it more comfortable or pleasant.

3. If, after making these criteria known, the hostess still tries to seat you in one of the above mentioned manners, refuse the table. Offer to wait. Or leave and go find a restaurant that will be more accommodating to your dining needs.

4. This may be the most important rule of all. If, by previous arrangements, said children have been provided for by willing grandparents, DO NOT, under any circumstances, retrieve the children from the grandparents before proceeding to the restaurant. Leave them where they are. They will be cared for and amply fed by said grandparents. Go eat in peace.

My Easter Beauties

2009-04-13T15:39:00.004-05:00

Happy Resurrection Day!

2009-04-11T20:22:00.004-05:00

I love Easter! I love, mostly, what it means. It means my salvation. Easter is the remembrance of all that Jesus did for me. Without Easter, nothing else matters. I love Spring, and all the pretty flowers and colors...how everything is new again. New Life-get it?

I also love Christmas, but I think I have decided I love Easter more. I was thinking about it, and I realized why. At Easter, there are no obligatory events. No one has "Easter parties". Well, maybe a few kid parties or egg hunts, but even those are not "mandatory". There's no guilt in saying, "Sorry, but I don't think we'll be able to make the egg hunt. Y'all have fun without us." And if you do go, it's only because you want to and have the time. At least that is how it was for us when our girls were egg hunt age.

Also, other than a basket full of small goodies, there's no huge shopping effort at Easter. I do know that some people like to go all out in the Easter dress/shoes catagory, but I don't. The girls did shop for new dresses, but it was fairly low key. And they found shoes, but they were low key too. The attitude was, if we find something good, if not...oh well. I am lucky in that I sing in the choir and we have an Easter "uniform"...khaki pants or skirt and solid pastel top. Easy enough!

Lastly, Easter is all about Jesus. Christmas is supposed to be. We try hard to keep it that way. But other things always try to interfere. But Easter is just about Jesus. About church. That's it. No rushing home like on Christmas eve service to eat and read the Christmas story and hurry to bed and put out the presents. Just church and family on Easter. No wrapping paper or boxes or trees. No big clean up. At least at our house, it's a glorious morning of worship and a nice family afternoon.

So enjoy your day. Thank Jesus for all He did for you. Remember the enormity of His sacrifice. Enjoy the gift of love and mercy. Happy Easter!

Countdown to Magic!

2009-03-23T22:22:00.006-05:00

In one month we are going here.

Yep...in just one month we will get on a plane and fly to the land of magic...where Mickey and Minnie and all their friends live. I am so excited! We've been planning, making reservations, reading books, meeting with Junebug, getting input from friends who've been there...

This will be unlike any vacation we've taken with our girls. We've gone to some great places...Colorado Springs is still my favorite...but this is different in a lot of ways. First, we are flying! That was a last minute surprise from Kearsdad. The last time we flew was to visit my parents when they lived in Florida. The girls were just preschoolers. I got to thinking about it and realized I haven't flown since before 9/11. Kind of weird....I'm not going to think about that anymore. So, that is difference #1. All of the "real" vacations we've taken (vacations to destinations, not to grandparents' houses) have involved long car rides, rest stops, fast food in the car... When we get there, we are renting a car to go to and from the parks.

Parks. Plural. That is difference #2. We have been to Disney before. I went many times growing up. But until I was in high school, Disney meant Magic Kingdom only. I've been to Epcot three or four times. But all of those trips were one day trips. Maybe once we did two days, but I don't really remember. Kearsdad has been a handful of times, but also under the same circumstances. The last time we went was when the girls were little. We went for a day with my mom and dad. That meant we got there late morning after driving from their house in North Orlando. And we left around 6. Not that we could have done a lot...the girls were babies. Seriously, Disney by stroller. (A couple of years later, my mom and I took them for about 3 hours one day while Kearsdad was in a meeting in Orlando. It was a complete waste of time and money...) So here we are on that trip so many years ago...

You can't see us too well. Sorry. The pictures are in one of those old fashioned cheap photo albums that will probably eat my photos up if I don't get them out of there....but I just havent done it yet. Excuse the terrible scrapbook technique. It was before I was educated!

I can't wait to post our new pictures. They will be much better. I promise. And there will be lots and lots of them! In just one month!

Beauty and the Beast....And the Goblins

2009-03-11T21:22:00.007-05:00

The dance company that Banana dances with did their Spring performance this past weekend. It was Beauty and the Beast, and it was really good...those girls are very talented. Banana was a Goblin. She only was on stage for a couple of minutes, but it was a great couple of minutes. Overall, it was a very good performance, and Banana made the most of her "15 seconds". She was a very animated Goblin! And a very cute one, I might add.

How Embarassing

2009-03-08T21:55:00.003-05:00

WHY hasn't anyone pointed out to me that the title of my last post was MISSPELLED??? It's been up for over a week. How embarrassing. It is fixed now. Sigh...

Another Definition of Wealth

2009-02-27T13:12:00.004-06:00

I have at last found something President Obama and I can agree on. We both agree that my family is not wealthy. According to him, "wealthy" is defined by making more than $200,000-250,000 a year. I would beg to differ with his numbers, but either way, we don't fit his definition.

However, I have another definition of wealthy. And according to my definition, I am wealthy beyond measure.

First, I am a daughter of the King of Kings. I am heir to all the riches of heaven.

I have a husband who loves me and treats me like a princess. I am completely spoiled. And I am completely secure in his love for me. I have known many women who can't say the same thing.

I have two beautiful children who love the Lord with all their hearts, who are talented and kind.

Our house is filled with joy and laughter. Sometimes (most of the time) it's a mess. The laundry isn't always done (I don't think all the laundry has been clean at one time since before Kat was born), the dishes aren't always clean, but we are always happy to be together.

I belong to the most incredible church family in the world. I get to take advantage of the greatest worship, teaching and preaching there is. I am surrounded by people who love the Lord, love me, and love my family. I get to serve alongside the most incredible people.

At that church, I get to have the best job in the world. I get to hang with people I love (adults and teenagers), serve them, minister with them, travel with them, have tons of fun with them, and I get paid for it!

I have friends who love me. They know most of my secrets and faults, and they still love me!

I could go on and on. But you get the point. I am a wealthy, wealthy woman. And, Mr. President, you can't tax that!

Observations From a Trip to Target on a Rainy Day

2009-02-13T13:56:00.002-06:00

I had to brave the rain today to go to Target. I needed several things...the dog needed food (his bi-weekly 18 pound bag), Kearsdad needed some stuff for Winter Retreat, and I had to do my Valentine's shopping for the girls. All of that could be accomplished in one trip to the Mighty Target. So off we went, umbrella in hand.

I observed a number of things on my outing...

I am a much more polite parking lot driver than most people. As I made my way through the parking lot, I stopped a number of times to allow people walking from the stores to cross in front of me. After all, who wants to stand in the rain waiting to cross the road? Other people just drove on by, ignoring the people they were splashing as they passed. How rude.
People have trouble driving in parking lots in the rain. They forget how to pull into or back out of parking spaces, how to drive up and down the rows, how to turn out onto the main drive, etc. Granted, the collective IQ of the drivers in the Target parking lot is infinitely higher than the collective IQ of those in the WalMart parking lot. But still...rain causes that IQ to drop several points.
Speaking of rain-induced IQ droppage...There was a couple exiting Target as I was driving up. They were pushing a buggy (do you call it a buggy or a cart? I call it a buggy.) with a baby in it. The baby was in an infant/car seat thingy in the front seat part of the buggy. They had completely covered the baby, seat and all, and they were hurrying across the parking lot, worried looks on their faces, trying to shield their purchases and the baby from the rain. WHY, I ask, WHY did one of them not stand inside the store, or even under the awning at the entrance, like my children did, while the other went and got the car and brought it to the door? Wouldn't that have made more sense??
It is, apparently, too much trouble to move the buggies from outside on the sidewalk to inside the door when it is raining. There were no less than 7 buggies cluttering the entrance/exit area just outside the doors. Between the entrance/exit doors are the little buggy entrance doors where the buggies can be pushed into the store. No one seemed able to do that today. Must be the rain.
Finally, and this has nothing to do with rain, but it does have to do with the purpose of my trip, Target has a cruddy selection of Valentine cards. I mean really cruddy. And has anyone else ever noticed that if you go try to buy cards at the last minute, all the "To My Husband" cards are gone, but there are still plenty of "To My Wife" cards. Apparently most women do their shopping early. I usually do, but didn't have time this week. In the end, I made a call to Kearsdad, and talked with the girls, and we made a corporate family decision. No cards this year. We went to dinner as a family last night, and had a lovely time. We got "happies" for the girls. Kearsdad and I have been married over 18 years. I don't need a cheesy $5 card to know he loves me. Same goes for the rest of us. I suggested to the girls if they wanted to do something for anyone, they get creative.

Things I Learned Today

2009-02-01T21:14:00.002-06:00

I thought I would share some of the things God taught me today. Some of these are things I learned in church today. Some are things He taught me personally. God is so good...always teaching, always patient, always loving.

1. I finally understand the concept of the unpardonable sin. I have always struggled with this concept, trying to figure out just what it meant. I had trouble differentiating between blaspheming Jesus and blaspheming the Holy Spirit. I mean, aren't they one and the same? Well, yes they are...but then they are also different. Dr. Bisagno explained it this way...and I finally got it! See, the Holy Spirit is God's last attempt to draw man to Himself. Man has rejected God's revelation, his prophets, his Word, and even His Son. After Jesus' death, resurrection and ascension, God sent the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that convicts of sin and draws people's hearts toward God. As Dr. B said this morning...God isn't sending anyone else. No one else is coming for us. The Holy Spirit is God's last attempt to save us.

2. The Gifts of the Spirit are manifested in our ministry. They enable us to grow more Christlike as we serve and minister like Christ. The Fruit of the Spirit is manifested in our personality, so that we grow more Christlike in who we are and how we act.

3. The things we dwell on determine who we become and how we respond. Dr. B referred to "feeding the Spirit"...dwelling on God's Word and communing with Him in prayer feeds His Spirit in us and consequently is manifested in our actions, reactions and relationships. Max Lucado compares our heart to a greenhouse...

Consider for a moment your thoughts as seed. Some thoughts become flowers. Others become weeds...The proof is everywhere you look. Ever wonder why some people have the Teflon capacity to resist negativism and remain patient, optimistic and forgiving? Could it be that they have diligently sown seeds of goodness and are enjoying the harvest?
Ever wonder why others have such a sour outlook? Such a gloomy attitude? You would, too, if your heart were a greenhouse full of weeds and thorns. (Grace For The Moment by Max Lucado).

This week I resolve to feed the Spirit in me on God's Word, to be consistent in prayer, to cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit in my personality and responses, to exercise the Gifts of the Spirit in my ministry, and to try to demonstrate to others around me God's unfailing, merciful love that is calling them through His Spirit to salvation. What about you?

History for Today

2009-01-20T19:33:00.002-06:00

I've said before that I am a political junkie. I am totally fascinated with the pomp and circumstance, the formality and the significance, of major political occurrences. It began early. One of my earliest memories is sitting in my grandmama's livingroom watching President Nixon give his farewell speech and walk across the White House lawn to Marine One. I watched Jimmy Carter get out of his car in the Innaugural motorcade and walk up Pennsylvania Avenue with his wife and daughter. I probably listened to every speech Ronald Reagan ever gave. I watched the Iran Contra Hearings while my friends were playing Atari and watching Michael Jackson on MTV. And so, even though I am less than enthusiastic about the administration that took office today, I was glued to the tv most of the day. I turned it on early to watch and listen. The Obamas leaving the church after the morning prayer service, the school choirs singing anthems, political powerhouses coming and going, the commentators spewing historical facts, I was engrossed in all of it.

I have to say, probably the most memorable moment, the most touching, was when the Obamas arrived at the White House for coffee with the Bushes. The Bushes stepped out to greet them and Mrs. Obama emerged from the car, smiling and holding a gift for Mrs. Bush. I know this has been said over and over today, but I am so moved by the blessing of living in a country where such a thing can happen. The soon to be past and soon to be current leaders of the free world and their wives greeting one another with smiles and hugs and kisses and gifts. And while they may differ in many ways, I truly believe there was a level of sincerity in the greetings.

Apparently, I have done a good job of passing along my obsession (or at least my interest) to my girls. They watched most of the ceremonies with me. When the oaths took place, one of the girls (I forget which) asked if they should stand. They decided amongst themselves that they should. And they did. They asked questions, commented on those people they recognized, and listened intently to the new President Obama's speech. A couple of times they asked me what something meant, or if I agreed with something. I was quite proud of the respect and interest they showed. Like me, they are waiting to see if the words they heard today will be followed by actions that will benefit our country.

I love innauguration day. I love it more, of course, when the guy I support is being sworn in. But no matter who it is, I love it. I love the history, the majesty, the excitement. I love watching the power crowd come and go. I said up there that I am less than enthusiastic about the new administration, but I am hopeful. We live in a nation built on hope. And while I disagree with the man idealogically, I fully recognize and appreciate the incredible significance of this day. I pray that he will seek God, and that he will be surrounded by men and women who will give him good counsel. And I remind myself and you that no matter what, our God is soveriegn and my hope is in Him.

God Bless America.

Just Be The Mom!

2009-01-13T16:45:00.004-06:00

This is a post I have been mulling over for several weeks. It's one of those things that, when it happened, I thought "There is a blog post in this." But it was Christmas time, and I had so much going on, and not enough time to sit and think and form a response that I could write about. So here I am, weeks later, sharing this with you.

I posted about Banana's dance class observation last month. Well, that day a mom said something to me that just didn't sit right with me. As I was walking across the studio parking lot, on my way to observe one of Banana's classes, another mom was pulling out of the lot. This mom's daughter is in Banana's classes. They are good friends, and I know the mom well. I asked if she was going to stay for class. Her response was, "No, I wanted to, but Sally Sue (not her real name of course) doesn't want me to." Sally Sue's mom seemed completely unfazed by this. No big deal.

I, on the other hand, was appalled! First, since when is a 10 year old allowed to decide what mom will or will not do?? Why should she even be allowed to do that? "She told me not to, so I'm not going to." Are you kidding me? As a mom, it is my right to watch my daughters' classes. Not only that, but it is my privilege and my joy. Even if Banana didn't want me in there, I would be there. She doesn't get a vote, especially at this age. Besides all of that, I write the check. But Sally Sue's mom just drove away, with not a care in the world.

It broke my heart. Really, it did. And it made me think. If a 10 year old is allowed to dictate whether or not mom observes her dance class, then what will that 10 year old be allowed to dictate in a few years. At 12, will she be allowed to tell mom that she likes Johnny and is going to go to the movies with him? At 15 will she tell mom that she is going to stay out as late as she pleases because she doesn't want a curfew. Will she be allowed to tell mom she doesn't want to go to church? What else? What next? These are general questions. I am not saying that this particular child is going down a road to destruction, but seriously, what's next? Is mom going to wake up one day and wonder why she knows nothing at all about her daughter's life? Who is she chatting with online? Who is she texting with? (Of course, the question of why her 10 year old has a cell phone at all is a completely different post.)

Most of my life revolves around kids...my kids, my friends' kids, and the teenagers at church. One of the saddest things I see among teenagers is conflict with their parents, and the lack of discipline and direction. I hear mom's complain that they "just can't get them to do anything!" Maybe, it's because they have been taught, since they were little, that they get to choose.

Now, I am not saying that our children shouldn't be allowed to make some decisions. Part of the growing up process is learning to make choices. That isn't the same thing, however, as being allowed to dictate everything. And there is the aspect of age appropriateness. I also understand that there are some kids out there who are more rebellious than others. I know some very good parents who struggle with their kids' rebelliousness. But all in all, so many kids are allowed to dictate what they will and won't do, where they will and won't go, and on and on. And so many parents just sit back and smile and say, "Well, she didn't want to so..."

I just want to shake them and remind them..."You are the PARENT!"

2009-01-04T15:49:00.003-06:00

Junebug sent me this nice little "I heart your blog" along with these questions I am supposed to answer with one word. Then I am supposed to pass it on. Let's see...

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Where is your significant other? chair
3. Your hair color? blonded
4. Your mother? Glo
5. Your father? Joe
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? unmemorable
8. Your dream/goal? family
9. The room you're in? cozy
10. Your hobby? cooking
11. Your fear? can'tsayitoutloud (ditto, JB)
12. Where do you want to be in six years? here
13. Where were you last night? here
14. What you're not? extrovert
15. One of your wish list items? countertops
16. Where you grew up? Southeast
17. The last thing you did? brushedthedog
18. What are you wearing? sweats
19. Your TV? on
20. Your pet? SammyTheLargeBlackDog
21. Your computer? Dell
22. Your mood? mellow
23. Missing someone? nah (they're all here)
24. Your car? dirty
25. Something you're not wearing? earrings
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your Summer? busy
28. Love someone? completely
29. Your favorite color? yellow
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? hmmmm.....

I hereby pass this award on to....M&J (actually, just J, since I'm pretty sure M doesn't do any blogging), Andrea, and SUG.

Happy Birthday Banana!!

2008-12-30T20:01:00.002-06:00

12 years ago you changed our world. Our sweet surprise, our Christmas baby, our beautiful dancer, with your funny sense of humor, and your grace, always balanced by just the right amount of silliness. We love you!

Tell the Camera Where You're Going

2008-12-25T20:13:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas 2008!

2008-12-25T19:00:00.000-06:00

Observation

2008-12-18T21:12:00.008-06:00

This week was observation at Banana's dance school. Why, you may be asking, would I wish to sit through 3 hours of ballet instruction after I just spent a week watching ballet at the Nutcracker? (I assure you, Kat asked me that very question more than once, as she had to sit with me.) Well, for a couple of reasons. One, because I'm a mom and this is what mom's do. They watch their children. I adore mine, and love to watch them do anything. In my humble opinion, which is not biased at all, Banana is a beautiful dancer and I enjoy watching her. Secondly, watching a class take place, observing instruction, is quite different from watching a performance. I learn a lot during that observation time. I learn how Banana is doing in her "learning"...how she relates to and responds to her teacher, how she behaves in a class setting, and how she has progressed in her skill.

I only observed two classes this week, both ballet. I didn't get to see Jazz, I'll do that in the spring. The first ballet class I watched was with Miss J., the ballet director, and owner of the school. This is a younger class, and Banana is the oldest and one of the most advanced. It was interesting to see the difference in that class and the Thursday class with girls her age/level. The second class, today, was with "Miss Andrea", Andrea of "Living a Legacy". Andrea and I became blog friends, but now we are "real life friends" too. And she is a wonderful teacher...Banana really loves her.

So, here are a few pictures from Ballet class. There is one of Miss J. giving corrections, one of Miss Andrea teaching, and one of her with Banana. She was concerned that Banana was almost taller than her. But I think they look beautiful together!

Banana is the tall one in brown. The other girls in this picture are in green...color denotes level.

I thought this one was awesome...I got her in the air!

Today was also Christmas party day. The girls played dirty Santa at the end of class.

Banana and her awesome teacher!

All Things Christmas

2008-12-15T22:43:00.003-06:00

Lots to Update: #2 Nutcracker

2008-12-08T20:46:00.008-06:00

We survived another year of Nutcracker. Every year it gets a little more intense. As Banana progresses through the Company levels, she gets more and more "stage time". Translated that means more practice time, more rehearsal time, more everything, later nights, longer "notes and corrections", and more work for mom and dad. Last year, we were still "newbies" and got away with "not knowing how to do things". No such luck this year. Kearsdad and I are full-fledged dancer parents now, with jobs and everything. You may remember that Kearsdad was on tech crew last year. Well, this year he got to the technical rehearsal to learn that he was "in charge" of stage right! He wore the headset and everything. Fun times. I leaned that I like decorating, and that I don't like taking tickets. Don't ask, just trust me!

Banana did a beautiful job and had tons of fun. She is almost fully independent, changing costumes, doing makeup, and even getting her face paint taken care of. Yes, I said face paint. She changed from a mouse nose and whiskers to a doll's red circle cheeks more times than I can count. It is nice to know that she can take care of herself. And it was fun to watch her dance.

Kat was a great help. She was named, by one of Banana's friends, "the backstage-helper-girl". She did a little of everything...tying bows, zipping zippers, running errands, playing Nintendo DS, filling tea party cups of ice, selling raffle tickets...you name it. I was very proud of how she pitched in and had such a great attitude about the whole thing.

It was very good. It was a lot of fun. We were exhausted, and we are glad to be done for another year. Sweet dreams, Clara!

Here are Banana the Mouse and LouLou the best friend. LouLou and Aunt Junebug came to watch dress rehearsal and take pictures.

Mice and Soldiers...Banana is the tall mouse.

LouLou, Banana the Polichinelle, and Kat the backstage-helper-girl

Lots to Update: #1 Thanksgiving

2008-12-08T20:09:00.007-06:00

It's been awhile...yes, I know. I've been a tad busy. Trying to catch up now.

We had a nice Thanksgiving. Lots of driving, although not as much as last year. We spent the first couple of days with Kearsdad's folks. Kearsdad got to go hunting with his dad and brother, something he hasn't done in about 20 years, and he really enjoyed himself. Sadly, he didn't shoot anything. The girls had fun playing with their two younger cousins (all the older ones were gone here and there).

Here they are playing games in Mema's dining room.

On Thanksgiving day, we drove to Macon to my brother's house. There we had a big ole family dinner. My mom and dad, my aunt and uncle, my sister-in-law's mom, step-dad and grandma, and all six kids. In spite of the potential for disaster, we had a really nice day. Really. Then we did something we have never done. We spent the night at my brother's house. All the kids slept downstairs (the boys in their room, the girls out in the playroom). The adults all slept upstairs (s-i-l's family and my aunt and uncle, as well as my dad had gone home). We enjoyed just hanging out with J and T, something we haven't done in years and years.

Thanksgiving day, we were treated to a play by all the kids. I can't tell you what it was about. I have no idea, but we all cheered and clapped anyway. Here they are taking a bow. Yes, one of the boys, W, wore his Batman costume for the play.

Actually, I never got a picture of both boys out of costume. But here is a really cute one of them all.

Growth Spurt

2008-11-24T21:19:00.003-06:00

Anyone remember this picture? This was taken last January. January 5th to be exact. I posted all about it here. Banana wanted to go hunting with Daddy, and we had gone out and bought her some appropriate hunting fashion apparel. It was a fun day for them. A day she wanted to repeat.

We are leaving tomorrow for Georgia for Thanksgiving. (Note...we will not do this again next year. That will be another post.) Kearsdad is planning to go hunting with his dad on Wednesday. (Note 2...if he shoots something, getting it home may be interesting. That will also be another post.) Banana heard about this hunting expedition and, of course, wanted to go. I wasn't sure if this would work out, but I thought we might prepare just in case. I went to her closet and pulled out her hunting-wear/camo. I looked at it closely, and realized it looked much smaller than the new jeans I have been buying her recently. So I called her in to try everything on. She did. I collapsed in laughter. See those baggy pants in that picture up there. Miss Banana could hardly button them. And they are now capris. Yes, fashionable camo capris. At least 4 inches too short! For good measure, we had her stand next to Kearsdad to compare now to then. In the picture up there she comes to his shoulder. Now the top of her head hits at about nose level on him.

We begged her to let us take a picture. She refused. Seems that preteen embarrassment factor has kicked in. So you will have to use your imagination. And I will have to use my debit card soon and go buy the girl some new camos that fit!

Confession, Part 2

2008-11-16T14:47:00.002-06:00

Well, I didn't go to the horse show. But not because it was cold (although that was taken into consideration). I was up most of Thursday night not feeling so well. Friday I kind of dragged around all day, and by Friday night I was pretty much wiped out. So Kearsdad generously told me he would take horse show duty. I did, however go to choir practice. At least I didn't have to be there until 9. I still had to stand around for 3 hours, but it was inside, on stage, singing, instead of outside holding horses.

I also didn't completely get out of "horse holding duty". I spent the afternoon out at the B's farm alternately holding onto a big horse and helping hold up a bridal gown. JB is getting married in just a few weeks. Yesterday she had her bridal photos made at home, some of them with her "baby", her show horse Tootie. It was interesting, to say the least. Tootie wasn't exactly excited to have her photo made. She didn't like her "bridal wear"-a new show saddle and bit and bridle. Didn't like them at all. She didn't like the fact that J looked "funny" all dressed up in that big white fluffy thing and white whispy thing that kept blowing around her face. She didn't like all the people standing around her, especially the strange one with the weird contraption that kept flashing. She didn't want to point her ears forward or hold her head up. However, in spite of all that, J ended up with what are going to be some of the most unusual and beautiful bridal photos ever. I have a couple of samples on my phone, but I can't post them. J's fiance, (also J) might cheat and look. Can't have that! So you will just have to wait till the wedding.

A Not-So-Motherly Confession...

2008-11-11T21:52:00.002-06:00

Kat has her last horse show of the season on Saturday. Have you looked at the weather forecast for Saturday? It is supposed to be COLD. The last thing in the world I want to do is get up at dark-thirty in the morning and dress in layers and drive for an hour and stand in the dirt with a bunch of horses for three hours in the COLD. I....don't....want....to.

Not to mention, we have a bazillion other things to do. We will be missing a "mandatory" choir rehearsal. Music guy is probably going to be pretty peeved with us. And Banana has dance on Saturday. All day of course. She is now dancing something like 29 hours on Saturdays from now until Nutcrapper...I mean Nutcracker. Ooops, did I say that? Yeah, I did.

This is one of those times when I just really don't want to do the motherly thing. I want to be one of those moms who sends her kid off with a wave and a smile and a "Have fun!" while I go off and do my own grand thing without a care in the world. Trouble is....I really DON'T want to do that. I really don't want to be one of those moms. I could have made that choice thousands of times over the last 13 years. I never have. And I won't this time. I'll go. I'll be freezing cold. I'll be a little stressed over all the other stuff I should be doing. But I'll be there, taking pictures like crazy and cheering her on. And I'll love it....well, most of it.

But for now....I think I'll whine a little more. Thanks for listening.

for the record....I used the word bazillion in this post and the little spell checker thing didn't even notice. It tells me that didn't and ooops are not words, but it accepts bazillion. I just thought that was interesting.

also, in case you didn't notice...I used a lot of hyperbole in this post. I mean tons and tons.

On a Lighter Note...a Fun Song...And a Reminder that God is Bigger!

2008-11-05T13:05:00.004-06:00

Sung to the tune of "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man", as sung by Junior Asparagus:

God is bigger than the Democrats.
He's bigger than Obama or even Hillary
Oh God is bigger than the Democrats.
And he's watching out for you and me.

So are you frightened? No not really.
Are you worried? Not a bit!
I know whatever's gonna happen, that God can handle it!
I'm sorry Oprah scared you when you saw her on tv.
Why, that's okay, cause now I know that God is watching out for me!!

Oh God is bigger than the Democrats!
He's bigger than Obama or even Hillary
Oh God is bigger than the Democrats
And he's watching out for you and me!!

Thanks to JMatt for reminding me of this last night and making me smile. You were my hero of the day! I love you! -Aunt Kearsmom

Election Year Blahs!

2008-11-03T15:14:00.002-06:00

I have to say it. I will be so glad when tomorrow (Election Day) is over. I am so tired of it. I am a political junkie, and usually I am all hyped up about the elections. Usually I have bumper stickers and buttons and signs. Usually I care. This year, I have to confess, I just want it to be over.

I fully recognize what is at stake tomorrow. I completely understand the seriousness. The problem is that while I am adamantly opposed to one of tickets, I am just not very hyped over the other. I like Sarah Palin, and I really think she would do a pretty good job. But seriously, how much influence does a vice president really have? Seriously? Has anyone even seen Dick Cheney in the last six months?? And as for McCain...I am just not overly excited. I'm really disappointed in this year's choices. And I'm just tired of it.

Don't get me wrong. I will definitely be voting tomorrow. No matter what. I believe that I have an obligation. Too many men and women have fought and died for that right for me to shirk my duty. And I will vote for what I believe in. Maybe a little of it will be a vote against what I don't believe in. But I still can't shake the feeling that I am just voting for the lesser of two evils.

One thing I know. God is sovereign. I am blessed to know that no matter who is running this country, He is running the universe. My future belongs to him, and no one can change that.

Trick or Treat!

2008-10-23T20:02:00.001-05:00

The BIG Surprise!!!!

2008-10-20T19:45:00.012-05:00

We did it! We managed to pull off one incredible Surprise Birthday Party last night! After weeks of planning, much whispering and plotting, a little bit of stress, and a lot of work, we managed to completely surprise Kat! She hasn't stopped talking about it. Our goal was to make her 13th birthday special, memorable, and fun. I think we succeeded. She really did feel special. Just look at that face!

A big thank you to Suzanne who did a beautiful job on the cake! It was perfect and Kat loved it! If anyone would like to see more like this one, click CAKES! They taste as good as they look!

Here's a picture of Kat and Aunt Junebug. Don't they look pretty?

Dad, Kat and Mom!

The girls.

Whew...so now I have to start planning Banana's 13...at least I have a year. For now, I need to rest.

Happy Birthday Teenager!

2008-10-18T21:47:00.007-05:00

It is the end of this very exciting, very busy day. But I couldn't let it pass without wishing my sweet Sunshine a Happy 13th Birthday. Here are a couple of pictures of her doing one of her favorite things today...

And a couple of birthday present pictures.

A newly decked out room, appropriate for a teenager.

And a heart shaped opal ring...opal for October, and heart shaped to remind her how much she is loved! We love you sweet girl! Happy Birthday!

At Last

2008-10-14T16:39:00.008-05:00

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Yes, it was all there. I'm finally getting around to recording the events of the weekend. I'm not sure I can squeeze it all into one post. I know I'm going to have to just hit the highlights. Maybe I'll even do two posts...we'll see.

Before I begin, I need to say thanks to the people who made this weekend possible. Cliche, yes, but very true. We were able to leave Sammy at home, well taken care of, the house well taken care of, and most importantly, Kat was well taken care of. Kat didn't go on the trip because of a responsibility she had at church. Junebug went above and beyond, and I thank her, as well as the other friends who welcomed her into their home for Friday and Saturday night. I was reminded this weekend of how incredibly blessed I am in the friend department.

The trip over was uneventful. For those of you who follow this blog, I know that is shocking. But it's true. We still haven't made many trips post-little-furry-dog, so the opportunity to stop and go into a restaurant to eat lunch is still a novelty. Also new is the ability to arrive at our destination fairly fresh, unwrinkled, and without dog fur all over us.

The primary reason for our trip, the real reason we took a day away from school and work, inconvenienced friends, and drove a total of 17 hours was for the 50th Anniversary Celebration for Kearsdad's parents on Sunday. But prior to that was The Wedding. It just so happened that Kearsdad's nephew got married on Saturday. So, of course, we attended the wedding...otherwise known as Redneck Heaven. I am not sure I can put into words what an experience it was. We had already been warned by younger brother and his wife that we were in for a treat, based on their experience at the rehearsal. (Mercifully, we arrived too late on Friday to attend the rehearsal.) But I don't think any of us were really prepared for The Wedding.

The groomsmen's brown tuxes were...well...interesting. Different. But in and of themselves they would have been fine. Everyone has their own taste, and since the bridesmaids' dresses were taupe, the brown was...reasonable. Unfortunately, the brown was just the beginning.

The ceremony began after we sat in the church for about half an hour wondering if the ushers/groomsmen were actually going to usher anyone in. Apparently they didn't get that memo. Most of us seated ourselves. The preservice music was traditional. We wondered if they were going to remember to light the candles. Finally two groomsmen entered and pulled out their handy pocket bic lighters and lit them. Nice touch. The grandparents and the mothers were ushered in. Sister-in-law/mother of the groom was wearing a hot pink fru-fru number. Sister-in-law is not a small lady, so there was lots of pink fru-fru. Mother-of-the-bride entered wearing a clashing red prom dress number. Stepmother-of-the-bride entered wearing a skin tight black number and sat between the other two mothers. Mother-of-the-groom reached for something...her video camera. She sat there on the front row and videos the entire stinking ceremony. There were a photographer and a videographer conspicuously present. But she videoed anyway. The whole time.
This is the camera, left lying on the front pew after the ceremony.

Piano....hymns...nice. The bridesmaids and wedding party entered to "Canon in D Major". Traditional. Normal. Then it got wierd. The piano began playing something no one recognized right away. We all just sat there confused until the minister asked us to stand. The bride entered and walked down the aisle to "At Last". Here is a version of it, if you don't know what it is...At Last. Yes, she walked in to that song.

Traditional wedding ceremony followed. Traditional vows. Traditional cell phone ringing in the middle of the service. Yes. Sister-in-law's father, sitting there on the second row, with his phone ringing loudly. He couldn't figure out how to stop it. After the ringing, we were treated to the sound of his voicemail alert. Traditional unity candle...sort of...the bride and groom lit the unity candle, and then we heard a song start to play. It seems the bride decided to sing her own song for this portion of the ceremony. But not live. She recorded it and had it played. Probably was worried she'd be too nervous. The song? "To Make You Feel My Love " by Garth Brooks. Nice. Yeah. Kearsdad says it sounded like she recorded it while in the shower.

End of ceremony. Introduction. Kiss. More kissing...then the Recessional. Kearsdad has another nephew (belonging to another brother) who is a very good musician. He had been asked to play his guitar and sing. He did as he was asked. THIS is what he sang. Keep in mind, THIS was the Recessional....what everyone exited to. Yeah. Nice.

Here's a photo of the wedding party, brown tuxes and all. It all looks so normal and innocent, doesn't it?

This lovely event was followed by the reception at none other than the Moose Lodge. Uh huh. Yes. It was. I won't even bother to describe it. But I did get a picture to prove that it was at the Moose Lodge.

This post is entirely too long. I can't describe the Main Event (aka Anniversary Reception). It will require its own post. Later. I'm too tired for any more description right now. Let the Redneck Event soak in for now.

Happy Birthday Kearsdad!

2008-10-14T16:18:00.003-05:00

I love you very much! I hope you have a great day!

Stay Tuned...

2008-10-10T08:47:00.002-05:00

We are going to Georgia this weekend for a nephew's wedding and my inlaws' 50th wedding anniversary. Those of you who are longtime, faithful readers of Kearsmom's blog will know that trips such as these are fodder for much blogging material. So stay tuned. I'll be back. With stories.

The Value of a Calendar

2008-10-07T13:38:00.003-05:00

Speaking of calendars...I am aware that the calendar now says October. And my last post was in September. I have been seriously lax on this blog. I apologize. Life has been jam packed lately. Some days I feel like I'm on a treadmill and someone keeps turning the speed up.

Anyway....Calendars. I have several. Four to be exact. There is the pretty Thomas Kinkade one hanging on the wall in the laundry room. It's my annual Christmas present from Kearsdad and the girls. Every year I ask for a new one. The pictures in it are so pretty. Really, it's just a substitute for the Thomas Kinkade print I would like to have hanging in my house. But the prints run around $250 for a little one, and upwards of $1000 for the really big ones I'd like. So I have the calendar. It just hangs there. Sometimes I remember to write stuff on it, but usually I forget. I have even been known (although this is terribly embarrassing to admit) to write stuff on it AFTER the fact. I have no idea why I do that. So there it hangs.

Secondly, I have the little "pocket calendar" in my purse. It's the free one I get from the Orthodontist office. This is key. See, I forget orthodontist appointments ALL the time. Really. I can't count how many appointments we have missed. Every time we go, I faithfully pull out that little calendar and write in the next appointment. Then I put the calendar back in my purse. There it stays. There are other things written on that calendar too. But I don't know what they are.

Third is my pretty Colorado planner calendar. I bought it last year while we were in Colorado Springs, at the gift shop in the Garden of the Gods Welcome Center. It is beautiful. It's a weekly planner, so it has 52 pages and 52 beautiful pictures of Colorado scenery. See, I bought it for the pictures. The other reason I bought it was to have something to use in staff meetings to keep up with student events. I take it to staff meeting every week. Sometimes I write stuff in it. Mostly, I just admire the pretty pictures.

Finally, I have the calendar on my computer. The one in my Outlook folder, attached to my email. This is the one Kearsdad wants me to use. He is always telling me how this calendar would make my life so much easier. He is probably right. This little electronic calendar has little windows that pop up everytime I open my email and remind me of what I am to do that day. Or, at least, the reminder window would pop up IF I put information into the calendar. As it is, nothing happens when I open my email except that my email downloads. Nothing happens because I never put anything in the calendar. Thing is...I use my email every day. Several times a day. Just think, I could have little reminder windows popping up throughout the day telling me what to do next. Where to go. What time to get there. It would be amazing. If I used it.

Prime example...Today, I hurried the girls through the morning...piano lesson, school work, lunch...hurrying because we had to leave by 12:30 to be at the church at 1:00 for the girl's art class. This class, through our homeschool group, meets twice a month. 2nd and 4th Tuesdays. We arrived at the church and the girls walked up to the door of the portable in which their class meets. Door was locked. Lights were off. Hmm....I started wondering...but we didn't have art class LAST week. I checked. I even looked in my lesson plan book (where I DO actually write things down). No class last week so it must be this week, right? Wrong.

We walked into the "office" where Junebug, SUG and BB were working (at least I think they were working). "What is today's date?" I asked. October 7 was the answer from the people who were looking at the calendars in front of them. Yeah, that's what happens when you look at the calendar, you know the date. "So, today isn't the 2nd Tuesday, is it?" Nope...it's the FIRST Tuesday. "But I don't understand. We didn't have class last week either!" Umm...that would be because September had 5, yes FIVE Tuesdays. That tidbit of information came from SUG, who was, again, looking at the calendar on the wall by her desk.

So, we are back home. With some extra free time today. That's why I have time to update my blog. I could use the extra time to enter information into the calendar on my Outlook. Maybe. Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow...

Wedding Bells!

2008-09-15T20:32:00.006-05:00

We went to a wedding on Saturday. A sweet friend got married, and we were so excited to be able to participate. Kristy and her family moved here when she was in the 9th grade, and our families quickly became friends. Over the years, we have enjoyed lots of happy times together. Kristy babysat when the girls were much younger, as did her sister, Alli. Kristy was also the girls' first piano teacher. One of my favorite memories of those days happened one day during Banana's lesson. Kristy's mom and I were sitting in the dining room having our weekly "chat and coffee session" (oh how I miss those!), and listening to the piano "playing" coming from the other room. Suddenly, it got quiet. We listened for a few minutes, but no piano. Finally, we heard Kristy call out, "Banana, you need to come back downstairs. We aren't finished yet." Apparently, Banana had decided she had had enough piano lesson for one day and went upstairs to find Kat and the other kids. Sweet Kristy...she was so patient!

I remember her learning to drive, getting her first real job, playing "Rock Star Queen" with Kat and Anna and her siblings...and the infamous dog bed experience. Long story, you had to be there, but fun memories nonetheless.

So Saturday, she crossed a new milestone. Her wedding was beautiful and sweet. Kat and Anna got to take part, handing out programs to the guests as they entered. They were so happy to share in her special day. Congratulations Kristy and Jonathan! We love you!

Labor Day Labors

2008-09-02T21:38:00.006-05:00

Labor Day was, by all accounts, a wash out thanks to Gustav. But that didn't stop us from being productive around here. Thankfully, we were spared any of the bad stuff! So we made the best of it, and got to work. At the top of the priority list was Banana's closet. Only a chosen few of you (actually, maybe only one of you) have ever seen said closet. It was a sight to behold. Banana doesn't believe in wasting any of her precious, abundant energy on housekeeping. The floor is a perfectly acceptable place on which to store one's belongings. There is no need to fully open a drawer to put an item inside. Slightly opening it and stuffing whatever it is inside works just as well...and it doesn't matter if the drawer is the correct drawer for that particular belonging. And beds are for sleeping in. Why bother making it if you are just going to get back in it later? So...you get the picture. Banana's closet was dangerous territory. It was the kind of place that gave me the shakes. It had become a nightly ritual for me to go into her room at bedtime and launch into a high pitched litany of despair.

Many years ago, when the girls were little, we installed a lower clothing rack and shelf in their closets so that they could reach things. In Banana's closet (I suppose because it is slightly longer) we also installed shelves up one side. At the time, I intended for the shelves to be for toys. The last few years, they have been used for shoes. But in reality, they have never worked well. They just encouraged clutter. Shoes, piled on shoes, falling off shelves, mixed up and hopelessly messy. To find a pair of shoes, Banana would dig through all three shelves, then crawl around on the floor looking for the shoe she wanted, then go through the same routine looking for it's mate. Not to mention all of the Barbie stuff and purses and hats and belts that were mixed in. Oh it was just awful...
This picture doesn't really do it justice. I didn't think to go get the camera until she had started.

Yesterday, Banana got to work. She pulled out all of the shoes, purses, hats and other clutter. The shoes got placed side by side, in pairs, so that she could sort them. All those that were too small got moved out. (I, by the way, inherited three really cute pairs of shoes this way.) Here is a picture of the shoes...just call her Imelda...

She worked really hard. She rearranged things, and moved some things, and (shock!) got rid of some things! After Kearsdad did the "dad" job of taking the shelves down, Banana did the rest. I supervised, but she really did all the work. I was quite proud of her. Here is the result.

I wonder how long it will last.

Perfect

2008-08-27T13:41:00.003-05:00

That's not how I usually see myself. That's not how most of us usually see ourselves. But I was reminded recently that perfect is exactly how God sees me. How humbling.

I have a devotion book by Charles Swindoll that I love. It was actually a gift to Kearsdad from one of our pastors. It's called Wisdom for the Way and it is truly chock full of wisdom. The devotion I read the other day said this:

Our past is like an art gallery. Walking down those corridors of our memory is like walking through an art gallery. On the walls are all of yesterday's pictures: our childhood, our parents, our rearing, the heartaches, the difficulties, the joys and triumphs as well as the abuses and the inequities of our life. Since Jesus Christ our Lord is the same yesterday and today and forever, then we can take the Christ of today and walk with Him into our yesterday and ask Him to remove the pictures that bring bad or defeating memories. In other words, the Christian can let Jesus invade yesterday and deal with those years of affliction...and remove those scenes from the corridors of our lives.

I was reminded that God doesn't want me to live in a state of self-recrimination. He wants me to live in victory. This isn't a new idea for me...I know it. I've learned it over and over, but it never seems to stick. But oh how I want it to. I want to live in victory. I want to live in the security that I am perfect in His sight. He doesn't want me to walk around defeated, beating myself up over this or that failure, this or that memory. Can I do it? You can be sure I am going to try.

18 Years Ago Today

2008-08-25T15:11:00.002-05:00

Ummm....yes, those children are actually Kearsdad and me. 18 years ago today. I can't believe I am actually posting this picture. But in honor of the anniversary of the best day of my life (just behind the day of my salvation, and just ahead of the birth of my two sweet girls) I am sharing this memory with you. Look how young (and skinny) we look!

The last 18 years have been incredible. Not always easy. But always good. God has blessed us beyond anything I could have imagined. I have a wonderful husband and I love him very much!

Happy Anniversary!

Creative Writing

2008-08-21T22:02:00.003-05:00

Banana style. Banana had a list of spelling words this week. All her words have endings that mean "small". Words such as rivulet, ringlet, floweret, statuette, gosling, fledgling, and darling. Today, her assignment was to write sentences with said spelling words. Bear in mind, earlier assignments this week involved word meanings. Here is a sampling of Anna's sentences. Spelling words are in bold. Notice her use of girls' names in her sentences.

The dead man got put in a casket. ewww....

"Lou Lou" saw a fledgling.

"Kat" and I saw an eaglet at the zoo.

Brittany saw a darling come out of the bush. Huh? I had to ask about this one. She informed me that her spelling book said that darling is "a little dear". It had not occurred to me that she would misinterpret "dear" for "deer".

"Banana's" spelling word is ringlet. Um, yeah, that's real creative don't you think?

There were more, but these are just a few. In case you are wondering, she had to redo those last two. Those just didn't cut it. Dad said she would have to come up with something more creative. I thought she was pretty creative already. For what it's worth, I quizzed her tonight and she spelled them all correctly.

End of Summer...sigh...

2008-08-12T15:29:00.004-05:00

Like it or not...it's that time again. The end of summer-as-we-know-it. Unfortunately, the Mississippi weather won't get that memo for at least 6 more weeks. (Although, I must admit, I have really enjoyed these last couple of rainy, coolER, days.) Most kids have gone back to school, regular activities are gearing back up. Banana goes back to dance this week, so there goes my free time! (Yea, Andrea! Here we come!)

I've been slowly making my way through the school books and new lesson plans, and I'm actually beginning to get excited. See, I have nothing against starting school...it's just the ending of summer I hate. But I love school...love the books and all the supplies and the anticipation of what will be learned this year. Adding to my excitement is the shipment of new books that is on its way. It should be here later this week.

Just for fun, I thought I'd list some of what the girls will be studying this year. People often ask me where I get my school stuff from, if I use a "curriculum" per se. Actually, I use a hodge podge of things...

Banana:
6th grade math-Alpha Omega publishers, LifePac
Grammar-Daily Grams 6 plus supplements from Easy Grammar
Spelling-Christian Liberty Press, Building Spelling Skills
Reading-various books accompanied by study guides from Progeny Press
History-Heritage Studies from Bob Jones University Press
Science-Bob Jones University Press

Kat:
PreAlgebra-Alpha Omega, LifePac
Grammar-Daily Grams 8 plus supplements form Easy Grammar
Vocabulary/Pre-Latin-Vocabulary From Classical Roots
Literature-various books, poetry, classics accompanied by study guides from PP
History-World Studies from Bob Jones University Press
Civics/Government-The Land of Fair Play from Christian Liberty Press
Science-Life Science-Bob Jones University Press

Those are just the basics...but it gives you an idea of what a homeschool study schedule might look like...We start Monday the 18th. I'm going to enjoy these last few days of summer.